the last post i did was to long, so ill try to shorten it this time. theres a guy i like, we met a week ago, he is 22, and i am 20. we have been seeing eachother almost every day and every night, for the past week and a half. he even blew off friends to hang out with me. the past 3 days we havent seen eachother, hes been working, and partying pretty much, and we hardly talk on the phone, just through text. but when i want to talk on the phone, hes either busy workin, or doin something, and he'l say ';ill call u in a bit';. and i just worry, bcuz ive had bad luck in my past with guys, they just used me, and lied and or cheated on me, so i have trust issues, jealousy issues, and negetive thinking all the time... and i dont want to push this guy away bcuz i know i will if i dont control my issues and fix them. my sister says that i need to trust him, he hasnt done anything for me not to trust him... but some things seem kind of weird, like the other night we talked through texting and he didnt really wanna talk on the phone cuz he was at his cousins watchin a movie, and i said so, i want to hear ur voice, and hes like ';but i dont want to be rude to my cousin'; and then he said ';ill call u but im not going to talk too much, cuz were watchin a movie';. so that made me think negetively as if maybe he didnt want to talk on the phone cuz theres a girl around him or something. i need to know how to control my issues, i really need help!! and should i trust the guy, or what? we wont beable to see eachother every day, because he lives 30 minutes from me. please help!THERES A GUY I LIKE ALOT.... AND I DONT KNOW HOW OR IF I SHOULD TRUST HIM..... HELP ME! I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!?
You have a problem with trust as you said. He is not any of the guys you dated previously and there are guys who don't cheat and run around. The romance scene has its ups and downs but you have to take the good with the bad. My advice is to always think positive until you have definite proof that something else is going on.THERES A GUY I LIKE ALOT.... AND I DONT KNOW HOW OR IF I SHOULD TRUST HIM..... HELP ME! I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!?
seems a little shady--yellow flags up for sure!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Married women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust & I'm not sure how to get past
it.My husband works in a male dominated field.In Nov-Dec he was away on business.There were 40 people there but only 4 were women.My husband casually mentioned a woman by the name of Tonya during a conversation one day.Well, I have trust issue from past relationships so I kinda freaked out about it %26amp; started questioning him about everything. If they went out, was Tonya there? If they went to lunch, was Tonya there, etc...Well, he went on another trip this past month for 4 days %26amp; I asked him if Tonya was going to be there %26amp; he said no but when he gave me his itenerary, her name was on it. When he finally got back I confronted him about it %26amp; he admitted she was there. He said he knows it was wrong but that he wanted to enjoy his trip w/o me freaking out about it. He says he accepts 80% of the blame %26amp; he is sorry %26amp; it will never happen again.20% he says is my fault because I make it hard for him to be honest with me.She is just a colleague %26amp; I just have to trust him.I just can't let it goMarried women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust %26amp; I'm not sure how to get past
If you continue doubting everything your husband says or does he will lie to you to keep you from getting upset. You will also push him away further and further. It is hard to do but you really must trust him until he gives you a solid reason not to.Married women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust %26amp; I'm not sure how to get past
Maybe he hid it from you because you freaked on him for no good reason before. Your exes are not him. How would you feel if he didn't trust you and accused you because his ex cheated on him? We both know that would not fly. You make yourself sound very insecure and histrionic. If you can't stand your husband having female co-workers, you have some serious jealousy issues and need to check out some counseling. This is not good for either of you.
I actually think your husband is right. It is something you just have to deal with. You have to trust him and not ask him all these questions all the time. Now he must feel like if you don't know it'll be fine. So he must think that if he lies to you everything will be better than if he told you. Take it easy on him a little. If you lay off he may feel more comfortable with being honest with you because right now all you are telling him is that you don't trust him even if he tells you the truth. So to him it is better to lie.
Time
It could be legit. I was a service plumber for years and one day had a service call to repair the commodes in the women's restroom/undressing room at a totally nude strip club. I will fully confess, I did enjoy the view alot, there were 15-20 women, and no ugly ones mind you, walking around nude. Of course it took me a lot longer to do the job. The women were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money, I was there fixing commodes and enjoying the scenery. The women said hi or made casual conversation but there were no sexual remarks, propostitions, inuendos, or anything remotely related. I told me wife about it when I got home and she freaked out. Why did I do it, etc, and on and on. I told they were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money or anything. I did nothing out of line with any of those women. I told her she would not know the next time because I did nothing wrong and she was going on like hell. She told me I better tell her, I told her forget it, I was open, honest, and upfront about everything and she gives me all this hell like I am guilty and I was guilty of nothing. A few days later after she settled down and realized I did not go there voluntarily, that I spent no money there, and I did nothing wrong, and that I was totally honest with her, then she apologized for freaking out. I understand her point, I was in a room with 15-20 nude women but they were no more interested in me than anything. They just wanted to be able to pee. So it may not be anything, it can be an innocent situation. The more you freak, the less you will ever know from him if he does not feel he can be honest and open with you with you going ape crazy. Sit down and honestly talk, tell him how you feel, and both reassure each other of your desire and committments to your marriage. He needs the soulmate he married, not another mother or judge. Best of luck.
You need to just trust him, you have no reason not to trust him based on what you just said here. HE is not your past boyfriends so its unfair to not trust him over something he didn't do.
Lets say that this continues. He is not cheating but you continue to treat him as if he is cheating. You keep getting upset as if he were cheating on you everytime he is around women...he may as well cheat! You are treating him like he is whether he is or not, he's getting the bad without the ';good'; so he may as well just start getting the ';good'; if you are going to yell at him anyways. If that makes sense...
(I'm not saying that he will do that, but you could easily drive him into this thinking.)
Just deal with it. Don't cause commotion between you two. He knows how you feel and leave it at that.
I have the same problems with one of my husbands female friends (but she's given me reason to not trust her around my husband) but I trust him and he knows my feelings so when she gets mentioned I just smile and look the other way.
That way drama is caused.
You are essentially accusing your husband of doing something you know he didn't do. I think it's more like 80% your fault.
Don't project your issues from the past on to him. They are your issues to get over, not his. If he has not given you cause to distrust him, then trust him.
I would have put the blame all on your end. No guy wants to constantly be getting the 3rd degree, especially when it's due to your insecurities from a past relationship. If you want the marriage to last, you have to trust, otherwise your insane pestering will drive him away.
Thank God I am not married.
I had trust issues from past relationships, and eventually it started eating at our relationship. I had to sit down with myself and rationalize...........he is not the other guys and that's why I married him, things are great between us, so why would I think he'd cheat on me, I will know if he does, as my 6th sence always steered me right. After all that I just decided to let go and trust in life and love and my man. It's been 7 years since we are together, and I am glad that I DECIDED to let go and enjoy our life together, and deal with bad news as it comes my way and not freak out in advance.
I hope this helps.coupons
If you continue doubting everything your husband says or does he will lie to you to keep you from getting upset. You will also push him away further and further. It is hard to do but you really must trust him until he gives you a solid reason not to.Married women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust %26amp; I'm not sure how to get past
Maybe he hid it from you because you freaked on him for no good reason before. Your exes are not him. How would you feel if he didn't trust you and accused you because his ex cheated on him? We both know that would not fly. You make yourself sound very insecure and histrionic. If you can't stand your husband having female co-workers, you have some serious jealousy issues and need to check out some counseling. This is not good for either of you.
I actually think your husband is right. It is something you just have to deal with. You have to trust him and not ask him all these questions all the time. Now he must feel like if you don't know it'll be fine. So he must think that if he lies to you everything will be better than if he told you. Take it easy on him a little. If you lay off he may feel more comfortable with being honest with you because right now all you are telling him is that you don't trust him even if he tells you the truth. So to him it is better to lie.
Time
It could be legit. I was a service plumber for years and one day had a service call to repair the commodes in the women's restroom/undressing room at a totally nude strip club. I will fully confess, I did enjoy the view alot, there were 15-20 women, and no ugly ones mind you, walking around nude. Of course it took me a lot longer to do the job. The women were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money, I was there fixing commodes and enjoying the scenery. The women said hi or made casual conversation but there were no sexual remarks, propostitions, inuendos, or anything remotely related. I told me wife about it when I got home and she freaked out. Why did I do it, etc, and on and on. I told they were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money or anything. I did nothing out of line with any of those women. I told her she would not know the next time because I did nothing wrong and she was going on like hell. She told me I better tell her, I told her forget it, I was open, honest, and upfront about everything and she gives me all this hell like I am guilty and I was guilty of nothing. A few days later after she settled down and realized I did not go there voluntarily, that I spent no money there, and I did nothing wrong, and that I was totally honest with her, then she apologized for freaking out. I understand her point, I was in a room with 15-20 nude women but they were no more interested in me than anything. They just wanted to be able to pee. So it may not be anything, it can be an innocent situation. The more you freak, the less you will ever know from him if he does not feel he can be honest and open with you with you going ape crazy. Sit down and honestly talk, tell him how you feel, and both reassure each other of your desire and committments to your marriage. He needs the soulmate he married, not another mother or judge. Best of luck.
You need to just trust him, you have no reason not to trust him based on what you just said here. HE is not your past boyfriends so its unfair to not trust him over something he didn't do.
Lets say that this continues. He is not cheating but you continue to treat him as if he is cheating. You keep getting upset as if he were cheating on you everytime he is around women...he may as well cheat! You are treating him like he is whether he is or not, he's getting the bad without the ';good'; so he may as well just start getting the ';good'; if you are going to yell at him anyways. If that makes sense...
(I'm not saying that he will do that, but you could easily drive him into this thinking.)
Just deal with it. Don't cause commotion between you two. He knows how you feel and leave it at that.
I have the same problems with one of my husbands female friends (but she's given me reason to not trust her around my husband) but I trust him and he knows my feelings so when she gets mentioned I just smile and look the other way.
That way drama is caused.
You are essentially accusing your husband of doing something you know he didn't do. I think it's more like 80% your fault.
Don't project your issues from the past on to him. They are your issues to get over, not his. If he has not given you cause to distrust him, then trust him.
I would have put the blame all on your end. No guy wants to constantly be getting the 3rd degree, especially when it's due to your insecurities from a past relationship. If you want the marriage to last, you have to trust, otherwise your insane pestering will drive him away.
Thank God I am not married.
I had trust issues from past relationships, and eventually it started eating at our relationship. I had to sit down with myself and rationalize...........he is not the other guys and that's why I married him, things are great between us, so why would I think he'd cheat on me, I will know if he does, as my 6th sence always steered me right. After all that I just decided to let go and trust in life and love and my man. It's been 7 years since we are together, and I am glad that I DECIDED to let go and enjoy our life together, and deal with bad news as it comes my way and not freak out in advance.
I hope this helps.
Plz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
Please read my story i will type a lot
Here is the story:
Me and my gf been together for 1 and half years im 18 now and my gf 23 i met her when i was 16 im an abroad in New Zealand so is she both students here without our family's
We living in the same apartment got two diferent rooms but im staying almost 24/7 in her place when i met her first maybe 3month i feel i like her but not love and now i cant be without her it's more then love first 3month was good we were living in different apartments but i stayed quite often in her place maybe 4times a week it was ok we missed each other so after i turned 18 i moved in her apartment and been in her room almost 24/7 she told me her ex bf heat her sometimes i said to her how dear he is but after we start know each other well our relationship changed more cloose like twins can't be without each other a day we start arguming and fighting i slap her many times in this relationship but after i said im so sorry i shouldn't do that so sorry but i tiold you stop punching me and you still do i don't know how to stop you that's why i try to slap her to tell her stop stop fighting i don't want this but she still going so it's become king of fight i never punched her really hard but i did punched her many times in this relationship only when she starts a fight punching me all over the place many time i still take it but after i tell her plz plz stop and she still going so after i just become angry and slep her tell her sh ut up lie down com down she tells me she scared of me im saying her i will not touch plz don't punch me be nice to each other etc. after we just usually going to sleep so we get use to to this kind of relationchip also her mam came before her mam doesn't liked me she said im to tall for her no money and to yaoung but my gf goes agains her mother and telling her she loves me to death so her mam left after that our relatiochip become the same as usuall sometimes we happy sometimes we fight she always start paying for me food,cloose etc because i don't have money etc sometimes she tells me she doesn't want me she pays for me but she still paying for me also she told me many times leave her room give her space i did but after i did not so what happened 4days ago we got argument we had a alcohol involved dat time she start punching me i punched her slap her body and it have scratch on her body now so after that next day she told me she doesn't like me drinking in her room any more i said ok you are the boss next day was fine and next day when i woke up i told her lets by something to eat she told me she doesn't want spend money her parents not gonna send her money any more thats wat she saying usually so i said im hungry i don't care give me your card i will go buy something she become angry and told me get out of my room i said no so she left i didn;t touched her after that i was hungry and so pisst off on her so i said her don't come back home i will crussh your had she didn't relply so after i come down i told her plz go back home i will leave you room just want you to be safe she didn't relply so after that somebody knocked da door i opened and it was cops they arrest me because im adult nowe in this country the put me in jail for 2days and now after one month i have to go to the court to deal with thaT ALSO they told me i can't contact her till 16 of january no text no saying hello nothing no contact at all other ways i will go back to jail so i went caffe in msn i saw her there she text me that she so sorry i couldn't relply to herbecause i signt paper that no contact othe ways go back to jail so i sighnt msn and my tears start coming out after tha i signed in msn and typed when somebody you trust stab you in the back it hearts she got 28/12/09 was unforgetible day im so sorry after i let my friend talk to her tell the situation she said she knows police told her every thing she invite her friend over and she changed her msn 28/12/09 was unforgettible day which makes me realize how much i need love my self more or how much i don't love my self something like that i changed my also i hide my tears when i say your name,but the pain in my heart is stil the same she didn't chanded any thing so im not sure what to do when i finish my court should i go back with her and be bf gf but if she calls cops i will go to jail for long time or should i not contact her at all after what she done but i feel she is good person gand helped me a lot or shoud i just be friends and contact only by msn all my friends told me forget about her but i just can't im so suffering i can't stop crying about her i can't be without her im so suffering what should i do plese tell me sorry my english spelling not good im so upset listening sad sond and feel like crying specially i know i can't contact herPlz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
you are a complete asshole! how could you hit your girlfriend and tell her that you are going to crush her head if she comes back to HEEEER apartment?? i hope that you go to jail for a long time and sit and think about the sh*t you did to her! i admit that she shouldn't be hitting you either, so i think the both of you should not be together, you obviously don't work, and you do not know how to respect each other!Plz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
You should move on. . . AND, get some anger management.
(And perhaps some grammar lessons as well. That was hard to read.)
This is a very unhealthy relationship its best you two have no contact ever again. Pull yourself together and move on, also never put your hands on anyone, prison will not be a nice place to visit.
i don't really understand what you're saying, but from what i understand, this isn't a healthy relationship, i would get out of it
Calm down brah... use the pimp hand.
What?! Thumbs down? If you didnt notice his name is Russian Pimp... if that were true he would know how to use the strength of the Pimp hand.
Lol.
i agree
Here is the story:
Me and my gf been together for 1 and half years im 18 now and my gf 23 i met her when i was 16 im an abroad in New Zealand so is she both students here without our family's
We living in the same apartment got two diferent rooms but im staying almost 24/7 in her place when i met her first maybe 3month i feel i like her but not love and now i cant be without her it's more then love first 3month was good we were living in different apartments but i stayed quite often in her place maybe 4times a week it was ok we missed each other so after i turned 18 i moved in her apartment and been in her room almost 24/7 she told me her ex bf heat her sometimes i said to her how dear he is but after we start know each other well our relationship changed more cloose like twins can't be without each other a day we start arguming and fighting i slap her many times in this relationship but after i said im so sorry i shouldn't do that so sorry but i tiold you stop punching me and you still do i don't know how to stop you that's why i try to slap her to tell her stop stop fighting i don't want this but she still going so it's become king of fight i never punched her really hard but i did punched her many times in this relationship only when she starts a fight punching me all over the place many time i still take it but after i tell her plz plz stop and she still going so after i just become angry and slep her tell her sh ut up lie down com down she tells me she scared of me im saying her i will not touch plz don't punch me be nice to each other etc. after we just usually going to sleep so we get use to to this kind of relationchip also her mam came before her mam doesn't liked me she said im to tall for her no money and to yaoung but my gf goes agains her mother and telling her she loves me to death so her mam left after that our relatiochip become the same as usuall sometimes we happy sometimes we fight she always start paying for me food,cloose etc because i don't have money etc sometimes she tells me she doesn't want me she pays for me but she still paying for me also she told me many times leave her room give her space i did but after i did not so what happened 4days ago we got argument we had a alcohol involved dat time she start punching me i punched her slap her body and it have scratch on her body now so after that next day she told me she doesn't like me drinking in her room any more i said ok you are the boss next day was fine and next day when i woke up i told her lets by something to eat she told me she doesn't want spend money her parents not gonna send her money any more thats wat she saying usually so i said im hungry i don't care give me your card i will go buy something she become angry and told me get out of my room i said no so she left i didn;t touched her after that i was hungry and so pisst off on her so i said her don't come back home i will crussh your had she didn't relply so after i come down i told her plz go back home i will leave you room just want you to be safe she didn't relply so after that somebody knocked da door i opened and it was cops they arrest me because im adult nowe in this country the put me in jail for 2days and now after one month i have to go to the court to deal with thaT ALSO they told me i can't contact her till 16 of january no text no saying hello nothing no contact at all other ways i will go back to jail so i went caffe in msn i saw her there she text me that she so sorry i couldn't relply to herbecause i signt paper that no contact othe ways go back to jail so i sighnt msn and my tears start coming out after tha i signed in msn and typed when somebody you trust stab you in the back it hearts she got 28/12/09 was unforgetible day im so sorry after i let my friend talk to her tell the situation she said she knows police told her every thing she invite her friend over and she changed her msn 28/12/09 was unforgettible day which makes me realize how much i need love my self more or how much i don't love my self something like that i changed my also i hide my tears when i say your name,but the pain in my heart is stil the same she didn't chanded any thing so im not sure what to do when i finish my court should i go back with her and be bf gf but if she calls cops i will go to jail for long time or should i not contact her at all after what she done but i feel she is good person gand helped me a lot or shoud i just be friends and contact only by msn all my friends told me forget about her but i just can't im so suffering i can't stop crying about her i can't be without her im so suffering what should i do plese tell me sorry my english spelling not good im so upset listening sad sond and feel like crying specially i know i can't contact herPlz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
you are a complete asshole! how could you hit your girlfriend and tell her that you are going to crush her head if she comes back to HEEEER apartment?? i hope that you go to jail for a long time and sit and think about the sh*t you did to her! i admit that she shouldn't be hitting you either, so i think the both of you should not be together, you obviously don't work, and you do not know how to respect each other!Plz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
You should move on. . . AND, get some anger management.
(And perhaps some grammar lessons as well. That was hard to read.)
This is a very unhealthy relationship its best you two have no contact ever again. Pull yourself together and move on, also never put your hands on anyone, prison will not be a nice place to visit.
i don't really understand what you're saying, but from what i understand, this isn't a healthy relationship, i would get out of it
Calm down brah... use the pimp hand.
What?! Thumbs down? If you didnt notice his name is Russian Pimp... if that were true he would know how to use the strength of the Pimp hand.
Lol.
i agree
Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. Just last year, before our 3rd year anniversary, he broke up with me. Reason: he needed space. I admit that I am very tight with him. Anyway, two weeks later he came back. He did everything I wanted so as to gain my trust back. But up until now, 1 year later, I still feel very scared because he might do it again. Although he did do everything just to prove to me that he will never do it again. He is a very nice guy. He does not lie to me and does anything I ask for. I am getting scared once again because he is starting a new course and everyone in his class are girls. He made friends with them already and hangs out with them most of the time. He assures me that they are just friends and tells me a lot of stories about them. Maybe this is a case of jelousy, but what about my trust which I have just recently discovered has not yet recovered from that awful past...is it still my fault that I heal slowly? And can anyone please give me advice on what to do?Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
Firstly, you should trust him! He is the person that you love extremely, right? So you Nert to trust him! This is the basic belief that communicate with other people, let alone this is your love!
Secondly, you should give him his own space sometimes! The communication between you and him is very important, but you should have your own characteristics of yourself! Also, he Nert his own space to deal with his matters! Human beings are sociable!
Thirdly, you can go together with him in his parties and give his friends more smile! It is a good way, when you communicate with his friends, esp. the girls, to know his experiences in his course. The more you smile with him before his friends, the less challenge you will face.Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
you cant stress over whether or not someone is gonna leave you.
if you preoccupy yourself with theses notions then you're gonna miss out on a whole lotta life.
If he chooses to leave there's nothing you can do about it. Its a decision for him to make.
Be yourself and make the most of what you two have going on.
tell your boyfriends that this is how you feel!
I can tell you that if you continue to mistrust him he'll most likely leave. You need to either trust him or not, there really isn't any middle ground here. Not believing him is just calling him a liar and no one with any self-respect is going to tolerate that for long. I can see why he needed space before if you are too clingy. Love is like a rubber band, if you pull apart from the one you love for a while, then you'll spring back together closer than before. It's normal for people to go through cycles so if things change a little don't worry too much about it. If he starts spending all of this spare time with his new friends, then you might have something to worry about.
Firstly, you should trust him! He is the person that you love extremely, right? So you Nert to trust him! This is the basic belief that communicate with other people, let alone this is your love!
Secondly, you should give him his own space sometimes! The communication between you and him is very important, but you should have your own characteristics of yourself! Also, he Nert his own space to deal with his matters! Human beings are sociable!
Thirdly, you can go together with him in his parties and give his friends more smile! It is a good way, when you communicate with his friends, esp. the girls, to know his experiences in his course. The more you smile with him before his friends, the less challenge you will face.Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
you cant stress over whether or not someone is gonna leave you.
if you preoccupy yourself with theses notions then you're gonna miss out on a whole lotta life.
If he chooses to leave there's nothing you can do about it. Its a decision for him to make.
Be yourself and make the most of what you two have going on.
tell your boyfriends that this is how you feel!
I can tell you that if you continue to mistrust him he'll most likely leave. You need to either trust him or not, there really isn't any middle ground here. Not believing him is just calling him a liar and no one with any self-respect is going to tolerate that for long. I can see why he needed space before if you are too clingy. Love is like a rubber band, if you pull apart from the one you love for a while, then you'll spring back together closer than before. It's normal for people to go through cycles so if things change a little don't worry too much about it. If he starts spending all of this spare time with his new friends, then you might have something to worry about.
I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
I have been dating a girl quite steadily for an excess of seven months. We had not kissed until approximately six months. Perhaps slow on our part, I would naively like to think well paced though. Last Saturday however we were laying in a local park taking in a cool spring evening and things heated up, quickly. After simply kissing for quite sometime we found ourselves lying on top of one another engaging in what can only be characterized as ';clothed sex.'; At the time, the two of us thought nothing of it. However, upon speaking with her the next day she was quite distressed about our previous ';playing with fire.';
Although she knows that I would not compromise her in anyway and she was just as much a player in the evening as I was, I still believe that she feels violated to a certain degree. This young lady is the reason that I live and breath. Any advice on how to reestablish our deep ethical and moral trust is greatly appreciated.
Cordially,
Steek
Jesters needn't advise thx.I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Wow, aren't you a gentleman? It would be nice if there were more like you in the world.
Just be honest with her. Say things got a bit heated up, but if it's not what she wants, then it wont happen again unless she feels ready for it. I'm sure she trusts you, like you say, and she's probably feeling more guilty about her own part in it than yours. Tell her you still think the world of her, and if she needs some breathing space, you can give that. I doubt she'll take you up on it, though. She'd be crazy to let you out of her sight!I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Maybe if you ask her to log on to Yahoo answers and read your question, she'll realize how much she means to you and how much you care for her and her insecurity would disappear. She's luck to have you...if you stay like that forever of course.
it takes two to tango and she was part of this tango. you didnt do anything wrong, i just think she is a little embarressed that she let it get that far. just reassure her that you will only go as far as she wants too and like you said wouldnt do anything to compromise her morals or ethics. she really does have to own up to the fact that she is partly responsible for what happened in the park. you seem like a decent guy so good luck.
for now don't even kiss her let her feel comfortable inthe sensual part of the rellationship again! Take it slow and let her know that you understand her feelings and it won't happen first on your part unless she initiates it!
Keep seeing this young lady and tell her that you will, from now on, only go as far as she wishes you to go because she means the world to you. Show her the uttmost respect and attention from now on. Do not ever take her for granted because this happened. Consider courtship with her instead of just dating if you believe she could be wife material. Give the matter some very serious thought, since the chemistry is there along with the ethical and moral trust. You might want to plan a proposal in the near future so she will know you aren't playing with her affection.
Give her plenty of time and space to think about it. Try not to contact her even if you don't hear from her for a week or so. Once she has had time to think she will realise what a gentleman you have been and how foolish she would be if she let her confusion push you away. It sounds to me like you have the patience of a saint and saints always get what they deserve in the end. Just try not to worry.x
The best is to put it behind you guys and move on. I don't know how old you are or your girlfriend is but from what you are telling me you guys are both OK with keep a slow paced relationship. There is nothing wrong with it but you both have to accept what your biology needs are. This kind of episode may or may not happen later but she needs to know that you respect her enough not to push her into anything that she doesn't want. You can talk to her about that, but forget about the previous episode and move on like normal loving couples.
Best of luck to you.
just slow down a bit and let her know that you are going to go there unless she makes the first moves. i say moves plural for a reason - it lets her know that won't go there impulsively. if your young there is no hurry anyway
Wow, well spoken, whole words, correct English...I'm impressed.
It sounds like she is scared of her feelings...what is her religious position? Yours? If she feels guilty then she is likely putting it off on you. This is unfair but if she doesn't know how to go back to where you were before that evening then maybe you need to reassure her that you will make the effort to do that as well. Maybe it just needs to be voiced. It sounds as if she wants to be with you as well but is torn between that desire and her deeper desire to remain wholesome...and there is nothing at all wrong with that. If you truly love her the way that you say you do then I would be absolutely honest with her and tell her that you love her and that you don't want to do anything to push her any faster than she wants to go. Hopefully she isn't too shy to be honest back. It sounds like she is a rare treasure in the vast piles of cheap sparkly trinkets and their constant problems with sexual misconduct, fear of STDs, and fear of pregnancy at way too young an age.
When you go out with her now pretend like that does not happen. Don't talk about it, I think she is embrass about it and she feels that you would not respect her anymore. Show her the same way that you have been with her for the last 7 month. Later she will realise about it and when it's time for her to talk then you can discuss it but from today onwards don't mention a thing. Don't forget to sent her flower and a thank you note for being your friend
dont do that joey....as my other family and friends would tell me. if you really love that lady, then wait....dont rush. the more you rush the more she will go away from you.
Give her a bunch of flowers. Go to your florist and pick out a bunch of beautiful fun flowers. Not roses,too obvious.
You clearly think a lot of each other.
She wants YOU! Lets get that straight, but she wants to retain her dignity also, which you have to respect.
Tell her how much you admire, respect her, which is why you both have waited so long.
Show her you care about her! Not only the sex, although that is completely natural.
Love my friend! Tell her.Just remember this, if you have sex she may believe that the enigma has gone for you both and that there is nothing left.
Take a look at http://love-lust-n-life.blogspot.com/ for some good advice.
Take good care both of you and good luck
i think you must be the sweaters guy i have ever got the privilege to speak to here today !
the reason she feels like that could be much deeper that we think so i suggest talk to her about it and explain to her that you did not mean to make her feel uncomfortable at all and that you are willing to wait until she is ready for it !
as well as ready to speak to you about it !
i think you are very sincere and keep it that way !
shell come around and find the same thing !
:) AL smiling today ! good luck man keep your head up high !
Man i can relate... my gf is pretty anchored in out church and does not believe in premarital sex... although I have engaged in this act with other gf, I believe that she is the one and respect her decision to wait. We found ourselves in the same situation as you two just a week ago, us both having very healthy sex drives we were defiantly ';dry docking'; as Ive always called it.. but even took it a little further... The difference in the situations is that she was the aggressor.. We too had a phone conversation and both were unhappy in our lustful actions... My advice and the road I'm taking.. is to share your concern and desire to obtain her full moral trust... also prayer usually works. Hope it helps.
Although she knows that I would not compromise her in anyway and she was just as much a player in the evening as I was, I still believe that she feels violated to a certain degree. This young lady is the reason that I live and breath. Any advice on how to reestablish our deep ethical and moral trust is greatly appreciated.
Cordially,
Steek
Jesters needn't advise thx.I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Wow, aren't you a gentleman? It would be nice if there were more like you in the world.
Just be honest with her. Say things got a bit heated up, but if it's not what she wants, then it wont happen again unless she feels ready for it. I'm sure she trusts you, like you say, and she's probably feeling more guilty about her own part in it than yours. Tell her you still think the world of her, and if she needs some breathing space, you can give that. I doubt she'll take you up on it, though. She'd be crazy to let you out of her sight!I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Maybe if you ask her to log on to Yahoo answers and read your question, she'll realize how much she means to you and how much you care for her and her insecurity would disappear. She's luck to have you...if you stay like that forever of course.
it takes two to tango and she was part of this tango. you didnt do anything wrong, i just think she is a little embarressed that she let it get that far. just reassure her that you will only go as far as she wants too and like you said wouldnt do anything to compromise her morals or ethics. she really does have to own up to the fact that she is partly responsible for what happened in the park. you seem like a decent guy so good luck.
for now don't even kiss her let her feel comfortable inthe sensual part of the rellationship again! Take it slow and let her know that you understand her feelings and it won't happen first on your part unless she initiates it!
Keep seeing this young lady and tell her that you will, from now on, only go as far as she wishes you to go because she means the world to you. Show her the uttmost respect and attention from now on. Do not ever take her for granted because this happened. Consider courtship with her instead of just dating if you believe she could be wife material. Give the matter some very serious thought, since the chemistry is there along with the ethical and moral trust. You might want to plan a proposal in the near future so she will know you aren't playing with her affection.
Give her plenty of time and space to think about it. Try not to contact her even if you don't hear from her for a week or so. Once she has had time to think she will realise what a gentleman you have been and how foolish she would be if she let her confusion push you away. It sounds to me like you have the patience of a saint and saints always get what they deserve in the end. Just try not to worry.x
The best is to put it behind you guys and move on. I don't know how old you are or your girlfriend is but from what you are telling me you guys are both OK with keep a slow paced relationship. There is nothing wrong with it but you both have to accept what your biology needs are. This kind of episode may or may not happen later but she needs to know that you respect her enough not to push her into anything that she doesn't want. You can talk to her about that, but forget about the previous episode and move on like normal loving couples.
Best of luck to you.
just slow down a bit and let her know that you are going to go there unless she makes the first moves. i say moves plural for a reason - it lets her know that won't go there impulsively. if your young there is no hurry anyway
Wow, well spoken, whole words, correct English...I'm impressed.
It sounds like she is scared of her feelings...what is her religious position? Yours? If she feels guilty then she is likely putting it off on you. This is unfair but if she doesn't know how to go back to where you were before that evening then maybe you need to reassure her that you will make the effort to do that as well. Maybe it just needs to be voiced. It sounds as if she wants to be with you as well but is torn between that desire and her deeper desire to remain wholesome...and there is nothing at all wrong with that. If you truly love her the way that you say you do then I would be absolutely honest with her and tell her that you love her and that you don't want to do anything to push her any faster than she wants to go. Hopefully she isn't too shy to be honest back. It sounds like she is a rare treasure in the vast piles of cheap sparkly trinkets and their constant problems with sexual misconduct, fear of STDs, and fear of pregnancy at way too young an age.
When you go out with her now pretend like that does not happen. Don't talk about it, I think she is embrass about it and she feels that you would not respect her anymore. Show her the same way that you have been with her for the last 7 month. Later she will realise about it and when it's time for her to talk then you can discuss it but from today onwards don't mention a thing. Don't forget to sent her flower and a thank you note for being your friend
dont do that joey....as my other family and friends would tell me. if you really love that lady, then wait....dont rush. the more you rush the more she will go away from you.
Give her a bunch of flowers. Go to your florist and pick out a bunch of beautiful fun flowers. Not roses,too obvious.
You clearly think a lot of each other.
She wants YOU! Lets get that straight, but she wants to retain her dignity also, which you have to respect.
Tell her how much you admire, respect her, which is why you both have waited so long.
Show her you care about her! Not only the sex, although that is completely natural.
Love my friend! Tell her.Just remember this, if you have sex she may believe that the enigma has gone for you both and that there is nothing left.
Take a look at http://love-lust-n-life.blogspot.com/ for some good advice.
Take good care both of you and good luck
i think you must be the sweaters guy i have ever got the privilege to speak to here today !
the reason she feels like that could be much deeper that we think so i suggest talk to her about it and explain to her that you did not mean to make her feel uncomfortable at all and that you are willing to wait until she is ready for it !
as well as ready to speak to you about it !
i think you are very sincere and keep it that way !
shell come around and find the same thing !
:) AL smiling today ! good luck man keep your head up high !
Man i can relate... my gf is pretty anchored in out church and does not believe in premarital sex... although I have engaged in this act with other gf, I believe that she is the one and respect her decision to wait. We found ourselves in the same situation as you two just a week ago, us both having very healthy sex drives we were defiantly ';dry docking'; as Ive always called it.. but even took it a little further... The difference in the situations is that she was the aggressor.. We too had a phone conversation and both were unhappy in our lustful actions... My advice and the road I'm taking.. is to share your concern and desire to obtain her full moral trust... also prayer usually works. Hope it helps.
Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
I made some choices finacially that didn't sit well with my wife. I'm going to lay it out there for you, think of me what you will, but I made these choices in order to actually help our finacial situation at the moment. She's currently not working and I have the resposibility of keeping us afloat.
What I did, and this isn't fist time, was lied to her about our finacial situation. Yeah, a shitty thing to do, and normally I wouldn't. We both know right now that our finaces arn't the best. We have bills (which I always pay!!!). I neglected to come clean with her on this because I hate to see her worried. I want her to feel cofortable and secure, and not worry so much and get frustrated while she's working to better herself. (going for another degree) So to take more worry off her chest, I told her I didn't do what I really did in order to et some bils payed and a little extra to do something nice to her (Ok, fine, a cash advance on a credit card, not a lot though just enough)Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
Okay, well.. things are out in the open and you two can work together to fix this - hun, if this is the worst that you and your wife face together during your marriage, consider yourselves blessed. Remember that although bills bother her, you agreed to share your life together.. and unless your vows had a clause that said ';I'll share all of my life with you, except when I think it's in your best interest...'; to be honest with her... Although you were trying to ';protect'; her, she's not very happy now, is she... You two just really need to focus on communication with eachother.. honesty, trust, and communication are keys... But, she should be thankful the deciet was on the side of love and caring, too.. It's not like you were taking money out of the accts to finance your ';secret'; drug habit or something.. You love her, just tell her that and work together - it will get better.Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
That made me feel better. Thanks. Everything worked out OK once we both cooled down and talked about it. We're working on making things better for us now so we don't get too far over our heads.
You want her trust? Then from now on, you set certain dates and certain times that you sit down TOGETHER and go over all the bills, what is in the account(s) etc. You manage finances TOGETHER.
She is an adult, she can handle knowing when things are tight. You weren't doing her any favors by lying. If a credit card advance is needed - then it should be a decision made mutually. (which btw is really the LAST thing you should do, considering the finance charges, you really end up in more debt than you start off with) Regardless of who is actually bringing IN the money at the time.
Her depression has nothing to do with money - it has to do with you betraying her - you can also get into marriage counseling with her to prove you want to work on your honesty %26amp; commitment.
I was in the same situation just oppisite. i was playing the role of your wife while my husband did the same thing as you did. i was like your wife but i was pregnant and my husband didnt want to stress me out so here is what he did and maybe it will help. sit her down and first apologize and then take your stack of bills and sit down with her and go through them together. so then you wont have to lie to her and she can feel informed about the bills and maybe you can even let her write out the check or call the bill place up and give your credit card number to them so she feels trustworthy and special so you get your bills paid and she feels informed that is what my husband did and it helps alot. and your not a bad person just include her with these take care hope this helps
u need to always tell her the truth and talk to her before u make the decision. that will help her out alot knowing u can come to her.. good luck
My soon to be husband is the same way. It is very sweet that you want to take the burden of financial worry and keep it to your self. But honestly she is not going to understand this because I don't. (I go to school and my fiance worries about bills.) But the best way to keep her happy is to keep an honest and open relationship. Let her know your financial stand point because she wants to feel like she's working with you. Whether she can help with payments or no she wants to feel like a partner in this relationship. She wants you to just be honest. Explain to her that you thought this was the best way to handle the situation and she will understand...eventually...we always can empathize with those we love. God Bless
Tell her to chill out, you did not use that money in order to go to Vegas and party with strippers. You are doing all you can to keep your household going, and tell her that in the future you will consult her on any big financial decisions. It's not the end of the world, it's only money. No one committed murder, adultery, or any other criminal offence, it's a small mistake done in good intentions. She has to work with you for a better future, and it's ridiculous to let this fairly small thing get between you and cause such a commotion. Life is messy. So what? Clean up the mess and move on. Money cannot be such a major issue, especially when your intentions were to put it into the household. If she needs more cash, tell her to get a part time job. A lot of people go to school AND work.
as long as ur not selling drugs or doing anything illegal you're good in my books. don't worry so much. you're only trying to help. maybe u can come clean with her when she's working again?
waw , if everyone can have a good husband like you. what you say is really very touching. It's good that you tell her about it. Remember tell her you will never do that again. She has a heart and she will definitely forgive you. I think she already forgive you she just pretend she's not for a while so that you will non do the same thing again. Don't worry your lover knows what kind of man she got and she wont give it up for anything in the world.
Just start telling her of such things, and don't lie anymore. Let her worry, it's ok! You're both in it together. If this is the ONLY thing that is making her distrustful, just stop doing it, and she will come around.
You need to take her off this pedestal you have her on and start thinking of her as your partner/your team mate.
No, if you are both financially wrecked right now, she doesn't need pampering or ';little extra'; nice things. Neither do you. Both of you are in this together, so you will both suffer together. Take her off the pedestal and work as a team. She doesn't want to hear sorry (please don't go buy her a f*cking bouquet of flowers), she wants CHANGE. So arrange a dinner date (at home, I suggest you cooking the dinner yourself, clip some coupons to buy the ingredients and be cheap about it) and have your credit card balances, bank statements, mortgage and car balances, school bills, etc. all in a neat pile. And talk about it. Together. Bring scratch pad and pens. Lay it all out - this is what we have and this is what we owe and this is what we have coming in (income). Then plan a budget. And stick to it. And be open about it.
Tell her you're sorry for what you did but you did it out of love but that now you understand you two are in it TOGETHER, and so you will be honest from now on. And that if she wants, she can handle ALL OF THE MONEY (you get NO credit cards, no check books, NOTHING) and you hand her your check when you are paid and she hands you in CASH what you need for the week (gas, food, etc.) and that is all.
ALSO make a list of expenses you two can possibly give up... cable television, reduce minutes on your cell phone plan, or if you have a home phone and a cell phone, give up the home phone (alot of people do that now-a-days), to save gas, maybe carpool a few days a week... pack lunches...
That's whats going to work.
Keeping your pride and sheltering her won't.
Good luck.
I agree with Spazn.....
TALK things over with her...You are a TEAM...!
I think that your heart is in the right place. I think that it is wonderful that you are allowing her to get another degree and taking care of all the bills. It is also wonderful to see that you know that she deserves nice things as well. The only thing I would advise against is the ommision of information, and getting a cash advance on a credit care. That can sometimes change the terms of your credit card agreement and have you actually paying more so be careful. I wish you the best of luck!!
I actually think it's sweet that you don't want her to worry while she's bettering herself. I went to college late myself and I know how stressful it can be. I can understand why you wouldn't want to add to that.
Telling her about it is your decision. If you decide to tell her, word it just as you did here. She may be upset, but I don't see how she wouldn't understand. Being a woman, I may be a bit hurt that you kept something from me, but I would understand why you did it. It is definately something that can be forgiven and forgotten.
I understand and can appreciate why you lied to her. However, I think you should come clean. Why? You seem a little bitter that she's not working. You obviously wish she would help out. You need to tell her this, not harbor resentments which will only grow and build and come to a head someday. She's your partner in life, all of it. More than anyone else, she can help carry your burdens, but not if you don't tell her the truth. Let her know exactly how the financial situation is, and tell her you need her to help.
OK, so now your in debt. I also don't understand why you would pay more interest for a cash advance rather then just charge the item. Anyway, you came clean and do no do it again. Your wife needs to be included when you are doing the finance. Why not do them together. By leading her to believe everything is OK she might be spending more then she would if she new there were a little extra bills. We all make mistakes and your intentions sound sincere Just don't do that again.
Call your credit card companies try to lower your interest rate and or consolidate your bills. Send payments weekly so you can bring down the bills even an extra 50 would help.
Good Luck.
Idk!!!
What I did, and this isn't fist time, was lied to her about our finacial situation. Yeah, a shitty thing to do, and normally I wouldn't. We both know right now that our finaces arn't the best. We have bills (which I always pay!!!). I neglected to come clean with her on this because I hate to see her worried. I want her to feel cofortable and secure, and not worry so much and get frustrated while she's working to better herself. (going for another degree) So to take more worry off her chest, I told her I didn't do what I really did in order to et some bils payed and a little extra to do something nice to her (Ok, fine, a cash advance on a credit card, not a lot though just enough)Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
Okay, well.. things are out in the open and you two can work together to fix this - hun, if this is the worst that you and your wife face together during your marriage, consider yourselves blessed. Remember that although bills bother her, you agreed to share your life together.. and unless your vows had a clause that said ';I'll share all of my life with you, except when I think it's in your best interest...'; to be honest with her... Although you were trying to ';protect'; her, she's not very happy now, is she... You two just really need to focus on communication with eachother.. honesty, trust, and communication are keys... But, she should be thankful the deciet was on the side of love and caring, too.. It's not like you were taking money out of the accts to finance your ';secret'; drug habit or something.. You love her, just tell her that and work together - it will get better.Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
That made me feel better. Thanks. Everything worked out OK once we both cooled down and talked about it. We're working on making things better for us now so we don't get too far over our heads.
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You want her trust? Then from now on, you set certain dates and certain times that you sit down TOGETHER and go over all the bills, what is in the account(s) etc. You manage finances TOGETHER.
She is an adult, she can handle knowing when things are tight. You weren't doing her any favors by lying. If a credit card advance is needed - then it should be a decision made mutually. (which btw is really the LAST thing you should do, considering the finance charges, you really end up in more debt than you start off with) Regardless of who is actually bringing IN the money at the time.
Her depression has nothing to do with money - it has to do with you betraying her - you can also get into marriage counseling with her to prove you want to work on your honesty %26amp; commitment.
I was in the same situation just oppisite. i was playing the role of your wife while my husband did the same thing as you did. i was like your wife but i was pregnant and my husband didnt want to stress me out so here is what he did and maybe it will help. sit her down and first apologize and then take your stack of bills and sit down with her and go through them together. so then you wont have to lie to her and she can feel informed about the bills and maybe you can even let her write out the check or call the bill place up and give your credit card number to them so she feels trustworthy and special so you get your bills paid and she feels informed that is what my husband did and it helps alot. and your not a bad person just include her with these take care hope this helps
u need to always tell her the truth and talk to her before u make the decision. that will help her out alot knowing u can come to her.. good luck
My soon to be husband is the same way. It is very sweet that you want to take the burden of financial worry and keep it to your self. But honestly she is not going to understand this because I don't. (I go to school and my fiance worries about bills.) But the best way to keep her happy is to keep an honest and open relationship. Let her know your financial stand point because she wants to feel like she's working with you. Whether she can help with payments or no she wants to feel like a partner in this relationship. She wants you to just be honest. Explain to her that you thought this was the best way to handle the situation and she will understand...eventually...we always can empathize with those we love. God Bless
Tell her to chill out, you did not use that money in order to go to Vegas and party with strippers. You are doing all you can to keep your household going, and tell her that in the future you will consult her on any big financial decisions. It's not the end of the world, it's only money. No one committed murder, adultery, or any other criminal offence, it's a small mistake done in good intentions. She has to work with you for a better future, and it's ridiculous to let this fairly small thing get between you and cause such a commotion. Life is messy. So what? Clean up the mess and move on. Money cannot be such a major issue, especially when your intentions were to put it into the household. If she needs more cash, tell her to get a part time job. A lot of people go to school AND work.
as long as ur not selling drugs or doing anything illegal you're good in my books. don't worry so much. you're only trying to help. maybe u can come clean with her when she's working again?
waw , if everyone can have a good husband like you. what you say is really very touching. It's good that you tell her about it. Remember tell her you will never do that again. She has a heart and she will definitely forgive you. I think she already forgive you she just pretend she's not for a while so that you will non do the same thing again. Don't worry your lover knows what kind of man she got and she wont give it up for anything in the world.
Just start telling her of such things, and don't lie anymore. Let her worry, it's ok! You're both in it together. If this is the ONLY thing that is making her distrustful, just stop doing it, and she will come around.
You need to take her off this pedestal you have her on and start thinking of her as your partner/your team mate.
No, if you are both financially wrecked right now, she doesn't need pampering or ';little extra'; nice things. Neither do you. Both of you are in this together, so you will both suffer together. Take her off the pedestal and work as a team. She doesn't want to hear sorry (please don't go buy her a f*cking bouquet of flowers), she wants CHANGE. So arrange a dinner date (at home, I suggest you cooking the dinner yourself, clip some coupons to buy the ingredients and be cheap about it) and have your credit card balances, bank statements, mortgage and car balances, school bills, etc. all in a neat pile. And talk about it. Together. Bring scratch pad and pens. Lay it all out - this is what we have and this is what we owe and this is what we have coming in (income). Then plan a budget. And stick to it. And be open about it.
Tell her you're sorry for what you did but you did it out of love but that now you understand you two are in it TOGETHER, and so you will be honest from now on. And that if she wants, she can handle ALL OF THE MONEY (you get NO credit cards, no check books, NOTHING) and you hand her your check when you are paid and she hands you in CASH what you need for the week (gas, food, etc.) and that is all.
ALSO make a list of expenses you two can possibly give up... cable television, reduce minutes on your cell phone plan, or if you have a home phone and a cell phone, give up the home phone (alot of people do that now-a-days), to save gas, maybe carpool a few days a week... pack lunches...
That's whats going to work.
Keeping your pride and sheltering her won't.
Good luck.
I agree with Spazn.....
TALK things over with her...You are a TEAM...!
I think that your heart is in the right place. I think that it is wonderful that you are allowing her to get another degree and taking care of all the bills. It is also wonderful to see that you know that she deserves nice things as well. The only thing I would advise against is the ommision of information, and getting a cash advance on a credit care. That can sometimes change the terms of your credit card agreement and have you actually paying more so be careful. I wish you the best of luck!!
I actually think it's sweet that you don't want her to worry while she's bettering herself. I went to college late myself and I know how stressful it can be. I can understand why you wouldn't want to add to that.
Telling her about it is your decision. If you decide to tell her, word it just as you did here. She may be upset, but I don't see how she wouldn't understand. Being a woman, I may be a bit hurt that you kept something from me, but I would understand why you did it. It is definately something that can be forgiven and forgotten.
I understand and can appreciate why you lied to her. However, I think you should come clean. Why? You seem a little bitter that she's not working. You obviously wish she would help out. You need to tell her this, not harbor resentments which will only grow and build and come to a head someday. She's your partner in life, all of it. More than anyone else, she can help carry your burdens, but not if you don't tell her the truth. Let her know exactly how the financial situation is, and tell her you need her to help.
OK, so now your in debt. I also don't understand why you would pay more interest for a cash advance rather then just charge the item. Anyway, you came clean and do no do it again. Your wife needs to be included when you are doing the finance. Why not do them together. By leading her to believe everything is OK she might be spending more then she would if she new there were a little extra bills. We all make mistakes and your intentions sound sincere Just don't do that again.
Call your credit card companies try to lower your interest rate and or consolidate your bills. Send payments weekly so you can bring down the bills even an extra 50 would help.
Good Luck.
Idk!!!
Will I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
Last week I found out that my Boyfriend was exchanging sexually explicit emails with another woman online. He said that they never met in person, we had a huge blow-up over this issue, resolved it (with him swearing never to do it again) and then continued on with a wonderful weekend. Seek and you shall find I always say....well on Monday I found pictures of him hidden away on the computer posing nude on our bed. Even though we have also talked about this and he swore to me that he took the pictures but never sent them to the woman he was exchanging emails with (I am not sure if I should believe that), I am still feeling disgusted with the whole thing. He swore to me that it would never happen again, and that he loves me and can't live without me. Bottom line, I feel betrayed, like our beautiful realationship has been smuged with toxic waste. Will the wound in my heart ever heal?Will I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
This is the kind of behavior that, as the man gets more involved, can lead to affairs and such. I am always skeptical when a boyfriend or whomever does something like this then rushes to apologies and promises... Why is he even venturing into such murky waters?
Online relationships can be as dangerous as physical ones. It's the pattern. Now he's sending nude pictures to some strange woman (or man) in emails. In five years you'll catch him sneaking around with other women. Someone like this, you cannot trust once he has given you reason not to.
I suggest seriously talking to him, tell him exactly how you feel about him and his behavior, cut the bullshit, and where you see your relationship going. Many more fish in the sea, it's always darkest before dawn, and so forth.
All it takes is time to heal from this.
I know that of where I speak.
Good LuckWill I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
I doubt the wound will heal and even worse, I doubt he will stop doing what he is doing with other women.
I can tell you that yes you heart will heal. There are over 3 billion men in this world and your's in but one. :) I am not sure, however, that he will change. I had a boyfriend years ago that engaged in this sort of thing as well. Sending dirty e-mails and pictures of himself always to women he met online. We had 2 years into the relationship and put another 2 in before I gave up. This type of behavior is an early sign of exihibitionism, there is really nothing wrong with it if all parties are ok. I don't think that you are. People with sexually fetches have a need to fulfill them the way you and I need to eat. He won't stop, but he will get better at hiding his behavior from you since you have made it clear that it is unacceptable for you. Good luck
OK if your still with him your just a dumbass. listen to yourself and you tell me if you should stay.
get down the clinic hes got something you dont want
believe that crap if you want to. That man has been sending nudie pics of himself for years probaly. You think you just wake up one morning feeling sexy and decide to take naked pictures on the bed you and your girlfriend sleep on. Please. Unless you were the one taking the pictures you have no business with this loser. So trust your better judgement. If you feel like he's cheating...it's because he is.(womans intuition never lies)
He is still doing it, or if not he will be soon. He will get smarter about how he hides it from you, but rest assured he will not stop.
It is a sickness, you are either faithful or not. You can not be a little pregnant, and you can not have a little affair, given the chance he would meet up with her.
You have to decide if you can put up with his wandering ways or not, if so best of luck, if not get out and best of luck.
yes, the wounds in your heart will heal. But you should stop snooping in your BF's stuff if you don't like what you find. Ignorance is bliss
If you are not into the same erotica that turns him on then move on to someone who shares the same morals and values as you! If he has a kinky side that he isnt sharing with you then its not healthy and you could set yourself up for more suspicions in the future. Do you really want to be with a guy who you will always be suspicious of? Its not worth the energy of worrying when you could be enjoying a life with a boyfriend who makes you feel complete and special and who does not make you feel as though he needs more stimulation from someone else! get rid of him!
I think he sent those pictures. Why would he deny it otherwise. You want to trust him, but I think at this point it would be naive not to think there was something there. I know you probably want to salvage what you have, but he has not been true. I would leave him!
If that's the way you feel, let him go. He doesn't deserve u. And if you are doubting that you will be able to trust him again, chances are you won't be. Think about what's best for you. Look out for yourself!
Once trust is gone from a relationship, it's almost always impossible to repair the damage.
Kick his naked butt to the curb!!!!
If you truly value yourself, this little incident will eventually become just a 'little bump in the road'. You've been betrayed and now it's a matter of how you want to handle things. Trust is a precious thing and hard to regain. I think your boyfriend has some serious issues to resolve before he is ready to be in a loving relationship. Walk away before you get stuck! Good Luck
Yes your heart will heal. But your trust has been betrayed and broken and that hon, takes a very very long time to rebuild. Let him know that he is going to have to work very hard to rebuild trust and that it won't come easy to him, and you are going to be distrustful for a while.
Some men behave in the Internet like this. It always makes me furious. They come In ICQ or MSN with some pics or some sexual offers. I always delete them. But it gets on my nerves. As far as there are such men there are such women who want to please themselves sexually and virtually......So it is a kind of a hobby... But to tell the truth. if it were my boyfriend, I'd rather be worried, because it is a psychological problem. I don't think he really has some serious intentions with nude pics. Hugs Irene
Being as INSECURE as you are. You will NEVER get over it and as a result this will have a very negative effect on your relationship with this guy. Why don't you save yourself some PAIN and JUST MOVE ON.
This is the kind of behavior that, as the man gets more involved, can lead to affairs and such. I am always skeptical when a boyfriend or whomever does something like this then rushes to apologies and promises... Why is he even venturing into such murky waters?
Online relationships can be as dangerous as physical ones. It's the pattern. Now he's sending nude pictures to some strange woman (or man) in emails. In five years you'll catch him sneaking around with other women. Someone like this, you cannot trust once he has given you reason not to.
I suggest seriously talking to him, tell him exactly how you feel about him and his behavior, cut the bullshit, and where you see your relationship going. Many more fish in the sea, it's always darkest before dawn, and so forth.
All it takes is time to heal from this.
I know that of where I speak.
Good LuckWill I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
I doubt the wound will heal and even worse, I doubt he will stop doing what he is doing with other women.
I can tell you that yes you heart will heal. There are over 3 billion men in this world and your's in but one. :) I am not sure, however, that he will change. I had a boyfriend years ago that engaged in this sort of thing as well. Sending dirty e-mails and pictures of himself always to women he met online. We had 2 years into the relationship and put another 2 in before I gave up. This type of behavior is an early sign of exihibitionism, there is really nothing wrong with it if all parties are ok. I don't think that you are. People with sexually fetches have a need to fulfill them the way you and I need to eat. He won't stop, but he will get better at hiding his behavior from you since you have made it clear that it is unacceptable for you. Good luck
OK if your still with him your just a dumbass. listen to yourself and you tell me if you should stay.
get down the clinic hes got something you dont want
believe that crap if you want to. That man has been sending nudie pics of himself for years probaly. You think you just wake up one morning feeling sexy and decide to take naked pictures on the bed you and your girlfriend sleep on. Please. Unless you were the one taking the pictures you have no business with this loser. So trust your better judgement. If you feel like he's cheating...it's because he is.(womans intuition never lies)
He is still doing it, or if not he will be soon. He will get smarter about how he hides it from you, but rest assured he will not stop.
It is a sickness, you are either faithful or not. You can not be a little pregnant, and you can not have a little affair, given the chance he would meet up with her.
You have to decide if you can put up with his wandering ways or not, if so best of luck, if not get out and best of luck.
yes, the wounds in your heart will heal. But you should stop snooping in your BF's stuff if you don't like what you find. Ignorance is bliss
If you are not into the same erotica that turns him on then move on to someone who shares the same morals and values as you! If he has a kinky side that he isnt sharing with you then its not healthy and you could set yourself up for more suspicions in the future. Do you really want to be with a guy who you will always be suspicious of? Its not worth the energy of worrying when you could be enjoying a life with a boyfriend who makes you feel complete and special and who does not make you feel as though he needs more stimulation from someone else! get rid of him!
I think he sent those pictures. Why would he deny it otherwise. You want to trust him, but I think at this point it would be naive not to think there was something there. I know you probably want to salvage what you have, but he has not been true. I would leave him!
If that's the way you feel, let him go. He doesn't deserve u. And if you are doubting that you will be able to trust him again, chances are you won't be. Think about what's best for you. Look out for yourself!
Once trust is gone from a relationship, it's almost always impossible to repair the damage.
Kick his naked butt to the curb!!!!
If you truly value yourself, this little incident will eventually become just a 'little bump in the road'. You've been betrayed and now it's a matter of how you want to handle things. Trust is a precious thing and hard to regain. I think your boyfriend has some serious issues to resolve before he is ready to be in a loving relationship. Walk away before you get stuck! Good Luck
Yes your heart will heal. But your trust has been betrayed and broken and that hon, takes a very very long time to rebuild. Let him know that he is going to have to work very hard to rebuild trust and that it won't come easy to him, and you are going to be distrustful for a while.
Some men behave in the Internet like this. It always makes me furious. They come In ICQ or MSN with some pics or some sexual offers. I always delete them. But it gets on my nerves. As far as there are such men there are such women who want to please themselves sexually and virtually......So it is a kind of a hobby... But to tell the truth. if it were my boyfriend, I'd rather be worried, because it is a psychological problem. I don't think he really has some serious intentions with nude pics. Hugs Irene
Being as INSECURE as you are. You will NEVER get over it and as a result this will have a very negative effect on your relationship with this guy. Why don't you save yourself some PAIN and JUST MOVE ON.
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