Can I ever trust him again? Please answer. I need advice.?

I found out last week my boyfriend had been chatting on line with other girls. We live together and were planning on getting married in the future. Anyways, some sent him pics. I found out he was showing himself to one girl on a webcam. He said he had no intention on ever meeting these girls. But, I'm still really upset. I don't feel I can ever trust him again. We're supposed to start counseling next week. Is there anyway I can get over this quicker. It's all I think about and I'm very depressed now. Thanks for any advice.Can I ever trust him again? Please answer. I need advice.?
Did he say if he was going to truly stop this behavior?


In my opinion, he must have had a slight interest in


meeting other woman if he was sending his pics


over the net. YOu need to find out what is going on


with him, even if he had no intention on meeting these


girl, there is still no reason for him to show himself over


the webcam...Do you think he is looking for other female


attention? How long have you been together?


email me at my_min_tin@yahoo.com if you wanna


talk moreCan I ever trust him again? Please answer. I need advice.?
You probably will never trust him 100% again. It's up to you whether you want to stay with him or move on with your life. Trust is something very hard to get back once it has been lost.





Good Luck!!
dump him. if he's doing this to you now, imagine what he will do when you guys are married?
Sorry to hear about your troubles. However my policy with guys is that you can look but not touch. We all have a dream of having a guy who is so mesmerized by our qualities that they never look at another women but it's simply not realistic - a guy is going to look. I agree though that it would concern me that he finds the need to talk to women on a webcam. If he is exposing himself physically online, I think that you should definitely get into a deep discussion on why he feels he needs to go online for that sort of activity.... is it exciting?.....does it give him something he feels he can't get in the relationship? Maybe if you can get some insight it will resolve your fears or atleast allow you a resolution. My personal concern is that you are already going to counseling and you aren't even married yet! Also it seems to me that when a guy is online talking to other ladies, he has some intention of finding another one. If you want to stay with him, and develop trust - you both are going to have to lay your cards out on the table honestly and all the way. You have to get a solid reason on why he is chatting with other girls, and tell him your feelings. There needs to be some sort of compromise of what's acceptible to you and him in this relationship. If no comfortable compromise can be made then it's obvious that it isn't going to work out. Most importantly, don't back down on what works for you. If you are going to marry this man, you need to ensure your happiness...and you cant secure happiness by going along with what he demands, or what will substain the relationship temporarily. My most important advice to all my friends is not to fixate on something, but contemplete and seek solutions. Try to set your stress and sadness aside and look at the problem, and dig for what you truly feel. Good luck to you!
Hey grl,...Just put the shoe on the other foor .....what if guys were sending you pics and you were get ';n all lathered up and showing yourself nude on the web cam......think about it ??!!!!





what kinda person are you then ....and could you even trust your self?





marraige might be there for .......you .......but he certainly is NOT ready .
Oh, why on earth would you want to still marry this man?? He is showing you who he is and who he will be years from now. Counseling will not change his character. Rethink the marriage thing.
What he is doing is a real life experience in stead of reading Playboy. So, if you don't mine him looking at those kind of magazines you should not have to much trouble forgiving him for his fantasy with an on-line girl. And as he says he'll never meet this girl.


All but 1 guy I chat with live to far away that to meet them is impossible for me to do. I have a steady boyfriend, but I still chat with them, and still look for others to have chats with about politics on-line.
In my experience, once trust is broken, it is never fully recovered. And if you can not trust your partner 100%, it's time to move on.
I know that would hurt, but if you live together give him rules to earn your trust back.... do away with the Internet, and let him know that it was completely unacceptable and you need him to help you trust him if he wants to marry you!!! I would tell him the next time You catch him on line chatting it would be over completely and maybe that will make him realize how close he is to pushing you too far!!


good luck!
I believe that counseling is for people are in a committed relationship, like marriage. For people who are simply dating, I think it's futile. Even if he wasn't planning on meeting any of THESE girls, it doesn't mean he's not meeting w/ other girls he meets along the way, in person, say at the bar, grocery store, or anywhere else ... Men who are committed %26amp; love someone don't do these sort of things.





Whether you may ever trust him, well, certainly that's up to you, and it would take time, but I wouldn't waste mine. And people who ';plan on getting married in the future'; usually don't. Either you're getting married, or you're not. If you love someone %26amp; know that you want to spend the rest of your life w/ someone, then you do it ... you don't postpone it to some unknown future date!





I wish you the best.
IF HE HAD NO INTENTION OF MEETING THESE GIRLS WHY WAS HE SHOWING HIMSELF ON LINE TO THESE GIRLS WHEN HE'S GOT YOU AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARRING YOU???????????I DON'T BLAME YOU I WOULD BE UPSET TOO YOU BETTER THINK THIS THROUGH THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE YOU BETTER RETHINK THIS IF IT WERE ME I WOULDN'T BUT UP WITH IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE HE'S READY????????? YOU BETTER PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN TELL HIM A THINK OR 2 JUST HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR?????????? AT LEAST YOU FOUND OUT HOW HE'S LIKE BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED SORRY I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST FOR YOU..................BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED YOU SHOULD HAVE TRUST IF YOU CAN'T TRUST HIM DON'T MARRY HIM IT'S ONE THING IF YOU KNOW ABOUT IT AND MAYBE THESE ARE SOME PEOPLE HE KNEW WHEN HE WAS GROWING UP BUT IT'S NOT HE IS EXPLODING HIM SELF TO THESE OTHER WOMAN AND I THIN HE DOS WHAT TO MEET THEM MOVE ON A FIND A NEW MAN HE ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE YOUR TIME IS PRECIOUS THERE ARE MANY FISHES IN THE SEA HE'S NOT THE ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU THIS IS DIS- RESPECTFUL TO YOU HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU THERE IS A MAN OUT THERE JUST LET HIM FIND YOU
Whoa..I'd say go with your gut on that one.





Many of us here can give you advice on what to do and some advice might be great but the reality is we don't have to live, sleep, interact or trust this individual you do.





If you feel you can handle what he did and move passed it then stick by him go to counseling and hopefully have a great marriage and invite us all to your 50th. wedding anniversary.





If you feel in your gut that this will happen again counseling or not, anti-trust is very damaging to any relationship. True he screwed up that trust (speaking for myself I'd say it would be hard to trust him again, I feel I would always have that doubt if he was still doing those actions or worse) why in the hell did he feel the need to talk to someone else or show himself to anyone else.





But again your life, your thoughts, your feelings are what matter here...go with your gut, whatever you feel go with that, you know him better then we do, and you know what you can and cannot live with.
Well if i were you i would leave him alone because he's going to do it again i always say once a cheat always a cheat. If u feel that you cant no longer trust him u should just let him go because constantly thinking about it will just stress you out more. Please don't ever believe the fact that he was just talking to other females on the Internet on a friendship level it had to be more then that for them to be sharing pics
RED FLAG!


i'm glad you are going to counceling... his behavior is out of line and disrespectful. he has no plans to ever meet them? he already has!!! just like you and i have! there is the connection and its been made.


be cautious of him and good luck in counceling!
well


everyone makes mistakes


and that does not make us untrustworthy





you still do not have anything agaist him


he told you he does not intend to meet them


you have to believe him





forgive him noe he will forgive you when you need forgiveness
No, don't even bother, if he does this to you now before marriage, then he will probably only do worse things later. If he has started, it is just a rolling ball of snow. Maybe he can promise you he will change and will show it for months or maybe a year until you fall and change your mind. But only it is a question of time and he will be back to old habits very soon.


There are way too many fish out in the sea to put up with something like that. You don't want this weight of not trusting your partner the rest of your life.
wait for the counseling and really listen when you are there and then make your decision
I don't trust him. Why is he doing that to you?


Don't you think you deserve better than that?
If you were married in the eyes of God this would be adultary. I would sit down with him and let him know that this will not be tolerated by you, it makes you feel unloved and unwanted. My husband and I know that there are only two reasons that would ever cause us to divorce, one is spousal/child abuse or either party being unfaithful. It's just tolerated. I would make sure that you know that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Online chatting as well as pornography is an addiction and provides some sort of self validation for people that think they have a void in their heart to fill. If he is unwilling to committ to you 100% and let this life style go I wouldn't bother with counseling and would move on. It'll hurt for awhile but you will get over it and will be a better a person for it. God Bless you in whatever path you choose.
HEY YOU--snap out of it. have some self respect ---this guy is a creep--an immature, lying, disrespectful, uncaring man. He is dangerous and a waste of your time. A counselor??? Why??? Just dump him and find a real honest hard working man who will appreciate knowing you and will bring you true happiness. You can't and you never will trust this loser--so why be miserable?? Life has no promises--you will have disappointments all the time--why the depression??? Just Move on--you can't do anything but keep trying. You were lucky to find out now--pack up and move--relax--have some fun--meet a few new guys and you will find one that is right for you. There is NO reason to stay--or even try counseling--women are treated like the guilty party anyway--like the man can do some cheating--and you have to let him---NOPE--cheats are losers and not worth your time. Tell him to pack up--or you pack up---someone has to go-it is over. Just don't blame yourself--that's life...NEVER accept second best--only go with real men who treat women with respect and dignity and integrity---- Stand tall--have some self confidense--smile and good luck.
I would imagine the counselling will help. I dont know if I would ever trust him myself though.
NO. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He has a problem if his playing with girls on the internet instead of the girl right in front of him. You are better than that. There are plenty of guys out there. You are too good for this one. Next thing you know, he will be on to catch a predator. Better to deal with it now, than after you are married. It may take a while to get over, but just know that you are worthy of a good guy. Have confidence in yourself.
No, there is no way to get over it quicker. SOme things you just have to be disciplined and muscle themout.
When both of you are planning marriage, it means both of you have to be ready to commit to each other in mind, heart and soul. It looked like he was not ready since he was chatting and exchanging pictures with girls.





Did he admit what he did was not right and being unfair to you? If yes, then go for counseling and get help. Both of you will be more sure of yourselves before taking the plunge into marriage.





Cheer up... you will be ok. This is part of life, we learn to deal with relationship problems as we take on life journey. That is how we build our relationship on rocks and not on sand. A relationship is not given ... it is for both of you to put in efforts and and be responsible to make it a happy successful one.





Love is patient,


love is kind,


love does not envy,


(love does) not boast,


(love is) not proud,


(love is) not disgraceful,


(love does) not desire its own (way),


(love is) not provoked,


(love does) not reckon the wrong,


(love does) not rejoice at unrighteousness


but (love) rejoices with the truth:





(love) bears all things,


(love) believes all things,


(love) hopes all things,


(love) endures all things.
Your man is cheating on you. He is not going to stop cheating, either. Take it from an older woman -- you can do NOTHING to change a man. You either have to take him as he is (cheating on you) or move on. My advice would be to move on. There is always another guy, and you may find one who respects you and would never dream of doing what the current guy is doing. (I found one of those!) Find yourself another guy, and state your boundaries up front. That way, if he is not capable of being faithful, it will come out early before he hurts you terribly.
try observing him more.here no one can decide with the information you provided.and i think that is not a problem .it is very common.
I've been in a similar situation; I was in a relationship with a guy for over a year when I found logs of him chatting with girls online, telling them he was single and into hockey and other sports (which neither is/was true). I also found a photograph of a naked girl in his room once. Needless to say, he and I aren't together anymore, but for different reasons. I didn't trust him fully to begin with, but the picture and the messages were the deal breaker, I could never forgive him because my heart kept telling me he was lying and had every intention to continue with these kinds of actions.


It's truly a personal decision; trust your heart, not what he tells you or some counselor tries to make you believe. It's not a matter of whether your relationship is strong enough to withhold this kind of situation, but rather what you're willing to put up with. If you truly feel betrayed and don't know how to forgive him and you've tried everything you can, then my best advice would be to start looking elsewhere. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and I'm sure you'd have no trouble finding someone that would treat you the way you're MEANT to be treated.


If you do find it in your heart to forgive him and can truly let this go, then go for it. Every really good relationship has it's bumps in the roads, and if you guys can truly overcome it together, then more power to you.


Like I said, it's a personal choice. Follow your heart.





Best of luck.
Well,i have had a similar problem,and i ended up forgiving him,but i don't think i can ever forget.Counseling sounds good,see what he does and how he acts around you after counseling.


Good luck,keep your chin up
this isnt good. you have to start counseling before it even starts between the two of you? i cant see why anyone has the need to seek this kind of attention. anyways, you may have to be ready for a long bumpy road with him.
I can see where your coming from. Personally i think its like cheating. Trust is not someting to be thrown about. Tell him that your upset and that you dont want him doing it again. And then its up to him to try and make you trust him again.


Good Luck
What he did is wrong, but if he's willing to get help, then I think you should give him another chance. Now if he actually slept or met up with some of these women I would have answered you differently. Unfortunately time heals pain and this is not something you can hurry up and forget about. You will learn to trust him again, but he really needs to step up and make sure this doesn't happen again. I bet my seeing your reaction straightend him up already. Guys don't realize how much stuff like that hurts and that it is considered cheating!