the last post i did was to long, so ill try to shorten it this time. theres a guy i like, we met a week ago, he is 22, and i am 20. we have been seeing eachother almost every day and every night, for the past week and a half. he even blew off friends to hang out with me. the past 3 days we havent seen eachother, hes been working, and partying pretty much, and we hardly talk on the phone, just through text. but when i want to talk on the phone, hes either busy workin, or doin something, and he'l say ';ill call u in a bit';. and i just worry, bcuz ive had bad luck in my past with guys, they just used me, and lied and or cheated on me, so i have trust issues, jealousy issues, and negetive thinking all the time... and i dont want to push this guy away bcuz i know i will if i dont control my issues and fix them. my sister says that i need to trust him, he hasnt done anything for me not to trust him... but some things seem kind of weird, like the other night we talked through texting and he didnt really wanna talk on the phone cuz he was at his cousins watchin a movie, and i said so, i want to hear ur voice, and hes like ';but i dont want to be rude to my cousin'; and then he said ';ill call u but im not going to talk too much, cuz were watchin a movie';. so that made me think negetively as if maybe he didnt want to talk on the phone cuz theres a girl around him or something. i need to know how to control my issues, i really need help!! and should i trust the guy, or what? we wont beable to see eachother every day, because he lives 30 minutes from me. please help!THERES A GUY I LIKE ALOT.... AND I DONT KNOW HOW OR IF I SHOULD TRUST HIM..... HELP ME! I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!?
You have a problem with trust as you said. He is not any of the guys you dated previously and there are guys who don't cheat and run around. The romance scene has its ups and downs but you have to take the good with the bad. My advice is to always think positive until you have definite proof that something else is going on.THERES A GUY I LIKE ALOT.... AND I DONT KNOW HOW OR IF I SHOULD TRUST HIM..... HELP ME! I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!?
seems a little shady--yellow flags up for sure!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Married women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust & I'm not sure how to get past
it.My husband works in a male dominated field.In Nov-Dec he was away on business.There were 40 people there but only 4 were women.My husband casually mentioned a woman by the name of Tonya during a conversation one day.Well, I have trust issue from past relationships so I kinda freaked out about it %26amp; started questioning him about everything. If they went out, was Tonya there? If they went to lunch, was Tonya there, etc...Well, he went on another trip this past month for 4 days %26amp; I asked him if Tonya was going to be there %26amp; he said no but when he gave me his itenerary, her name was on it. When he finally got back I confronted him about it %26amp; he admitted she was there. He said he knows it was wrong but that he wanted to enjoy his trip w/o me freaking out about it. He says he accepts 80% of the blame %26amp; he is sorry %26amp; it will never happen again.20% he says is my fault because I make it hard for him to be honest with me.She is just a colleague %26amp; I just have to trust him.I just can't let it goMarried women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust %26amp; I'm not sure how to get past
If you continue doubting everything your husband says or does he will lie to you to keep you from getting upset. You will also push him away further and further. It is hard to do but you really must trust him until he gives you a solid reason not to.Married women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust %26amp; I'm not sure how to get past
Maybe he hid it from you because you freaked on him for no good reason before. Your exes are not him. How would you feel if he didn't trust you and accused you because his ex cheated on him? We both know that would not fly. You make yourself sound very insecure and histrionic. If you can't stand your husband having female co-workers, you have some serious jealousy issues and need to check out some counseling. This is not good for either of you.
I actually think your husband is right. It is something you just have to deal with. You have to trust him and not ask him all these questions all the time. Now he must feel like if you don't know it'll be fine. So he must think that if he lies to you everything will be better than if he told you. Take it easy on him a little. If you lay off he may feel more comfortable with being honest with you because right now all you are telling him is that you don't trust him even if he tells you the truth. So to him it is better to lie.
Time
It could be legit. I was a service plumber for years and one day had a service call to repair the commodes in the women's restroom/undressing room at a totally nude strip club. I will fully confess, I did enjoy the view alot, there were 15-20 women, and no ugly ones mind you, walking around nude. Of course it took me a lot longer to do the job. The women were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money, I was there fixing commodes and enjoying the scenery. The women said hi or made casual conversation but there were no sexual remarks, propostitions, inuendos, or anything remotely related. I told me wife about it when I got home and she freaked out. Why did I do it, etc, and on and on. I told they were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money or anything. I did nothing out of line with any of those women. I told her she would not know the next time because I did nothing wrong and she was going on like hell. She told me I better tell her, I told her forget it, I was open, honest, and upfront about everything and she gives me all this hell like I am guilty and I was guilty of nothing. A few days later after she settled down and realized I did not go there voluntarily, that I spent no money there, and I did nothing wrong, and that I was totally honest with her, then she apologized for freaking out. I understand her point, I was in a room with 15-20 nude women but they were no more interested in me than anything. They just wanted to be able to pee. So it may not be anything, it can be an innocent situation. The more you freak, the less you will ever know from him if he does not feel he can be honest and open with you with you going ape crazy. Sit down and honestly talk, tell him how you feel, and both reassure each other of your desire and committments to your marriage. He needs the soulmate he married, not another mother or judge. Best of luck.
You need to just trust him, you have no reason not to trust him based on what you just said here. HE is not your past boyfriends so its unfair to not trust him over something he didn't do.
Lets say that this continues. He is not cheating but you continue to treat him as if he is cheating. You keep getting upset as if he were cheating on you everytime he is around women...he may as well cheat! You are treating him like he is whether he is or not, he's getting the bad without the ';good'; so he may as well just start getting the ';good'; if you are going to yell at him anyways. If that makes sense...
(I'm not saying that he will do that, but you could easily drive him into this thinking.)
Just deal with it. Don't cause commotion between you two. He knows how you feel and leave it at that.
I have the same problems with one of my husbands female friends (but she's given me reason to not trust her around my husband) but I trust him and he knows my feelings so when she gets mentioned I just smile and look the other way.
That way drama is caused.
You are essentially accusing your husband of doing something you know he didn't do. I think it's more like 80% your fault.
Don't project your issues from the past on to him. They are your issues to get over, not his. If he has not given you cause to distrust him, then trust him.
I would have put the blame all on your end. No guy wants to constantly be getting the 3rd degree, especially when it's due to your insecurities from a past relationship. If you want the marriage to last, you have to trust, otherwise your insane pestering will drive him away.
Thank God I am not married.
I had trust issues from past relationships, and eventually it started eating at our relationship. I had to sit down with myself and rationalize...........he is not the other guys and that's why I married him, things are great between us, so why would I think he'd cheat on me, I will know if he does, as my 6th sence always steered me right. After all that I just decided to let go and trust in life and love and my man. It's been 7 years since we are together, and I am glad that I DECIDED to let go and enjoy our life together, and deal with bad news as it comes my way and not freak out in advance.
I hope this helps.coupons
If you continue doubting everything your husband says or does he will lie to you to keep you from getting upset. You will also push him away further and further. It is hard to do but you really must trust him until he gives you a solid reason not to.Married women/men, please give your advice. My husband has kinda lost my trust %26amp; I'm not sure how to get past
Maybe he hid it from you because you freaked on him for no good reason before. Your exes are not him. How would you feel if he didn't trust you and accused you because his ex cheated on him? We both know that would not fly. You make yourself sound very insecure and histrionic. If you can't stand your husband having female co-workers, you have some serious jealousy issues and need to check out some counseling. This is not good for either of you.
I actually think your husband is right. It is something you just have to deal with. You have to trust him and not ask him all these questions all the time. Now he must feel like if you don't know it'll be fine. So he must think that if he lies to you everything will be better than if he told you. Take it easy on him a little. If you lay off he may feel more comfortable with being honest with you because right now all you are telling him is that you don't trust him even if he tells you the truth. So to him it is better to lie.
Time
It could be legit. I was a service plumber for years and one day had a service call to repair the commodes in the women's restroom/undressing room at a totally nude strip club. I will fully confess, I did enjoy the view alot, there were 15-20 women, and no ugly ones mind you, walking around nude. Of course it took me a lot longer to do the job. The women were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money, I was there fixing commodes and enjoying the scenery. The women said hi or made casual conversation but there were no sexual remarks, propostitions, inuendos, or anything remotely related. I told me wife about it when I got home and she freaked out. Why did I do it, etc, and on and on. I told they were not interested in me because I was not putting out any money or anything. I did nothing out of line with any of those women. I told her she would not know the next time because I did nothing wrong and she was going on like hell. She told me I better tell her, I told her forget it, I was open, honest, and upfront about everything and she gives me all this hell like I am guilty and I was guilty of nothing. A few days later after she settled down and realized I did not go there voluntarily, that I spent no money there, and I did nothing wrong, and that I was totally honest with her, then she apologized for freaking out. I understand her point, I was in a room with 15-20 nude women but they were no more interested in me than anything. They just wanted to be able to pee. So it may not be anything, it can be an innocent situation. The more you freak, the less you will ever know from him if he does not feel he can be honest and open with you with you going ape crazy. Sit down and honestly talk, tell him how you feel, and both reassure each other of your desire and committments to your marriage. He needs the soulmate he married, not another mother or judge. Best of luck.
You need to just trust him, you have no reason not to trust him based on what you just said here. HE is not your past boyfriends so its unfair to not trust him over something he didn't do.
Lets say that this continues. He is not cheating but you continue to treat him as if he is cheating. You keep getting upset as if he were cheating on you everytime he is around women...he may as well cheat! You are treating him like he is whether he is or not, he's getting the bad without the ';good'; so he may as well just start getting the ';good'; if you are going to yell at him anyways. If that makes sense...
(I'm not saying that he will do that, but you could easily drive him into this thinking.)
Just deal with it. Don't cause commotion between you two. He knows how you feel and leave it at that.
I have the same problems with one of my husbands female friends (but she's given me reason to not trust her around my husband) but I trust him and he knows my feelings so when she gets mentioned I just smile and look the other way.
That way drama is caused.
You are essentially accusing your husband of doing something you know he didn't do. I think it's more like 80% your fault.
Don't project your issues from the past on to him. They are your issues to get over, not his. If he has not given you cause to distrust him, then trust him.
I would have put the blame all on your end. No guy wants to constantly be getting the 3rd degree, especially when it's due to your insecurities from a past relationship. If you want the marriage to last, you have to trust, otherwise your insane pestering will drive him away.
Thank God I am not married.
I had trust issues from past relationships, and eventually it started eating at our relationship. I had to sit down with myself and rationalize...........he is not the other guys and that's why I married him, things are great between us, so why would I think he'd cheat on me, I will know if he does, as my 6th sence always steered me right. After all that I just decided to let go and trust in life and love and my man. It's been 7 years since we are together, and I am glad that I DECIDED to let go and enjoy our life together, and deal with bad news as it comes my way and not freak out in advance.
I hope this helps.
Plz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
Please read my story i will type a lot
Here is the story:
Me and my gf been together for 1 and half years im 18 now and my gf 23 i met her when i was 16 im an abroad in New Zealand so is she both students here without our family's
We living in the same apartment got two diferent rooms but im staying almost 24/7 in her place when i met her first maybe 3month i feel i like her but not love and now i cant be without her it's more then love first 3month was good we were living in different apartments but i stayed quite often in her place maybe 4times a week it was ok we missed each other so after i turned 18 i moved in her apartment and been in her room almost 24/7 she told me her ex bf heat her sometimes i said to her how dear he is but after we start know each other well our relationship changed more cloose like twins can't be without each other a day we start arguming and fighting i slap her many times in this relationship but after i said im so sorry i shouldn't do that so sorry but i tiold you stop punching me and you still do i don't know how to stop you that's why i try to slap her to tell her stop stop fighting i don't want this but she still going so it's become king of fight i never punched her really hard but i did punched her many times in this relationship only when she starts a fight punching me all over the place many time i still take it but after i tell her plz plz stop and she still going so after i just become angry and slep her tell her sh ut up lie down com down she tells me she scared of me im saying her i will not touch plz don't punch me be nice to each other etc. after we just usually going to sleep so we get use to to this kind of relationchip also her mam came before her mam doesn't liked me she said im to tall for her no money and to yaoung but my gf goes agains her mother and telling her she loves me to death so her mam left after that our relatiochip become the same as usuall sometimes we happy sometimes we fight she always start paying for me food,cloose etc because i don't have money etc sometimes she tells me she doesn't want me she pays for me but she still paying for me also she told me many times leave her room give her space i did but after i did not so what happened 4days ago we got argument we had a alcohol involved dat time she start punching me i punched her slap her body and it have scratch on her body now so after that next day she told me she doesn't like me drinking in her room any more i said ok you are the boss next day was fine and next day when i woke up i told her lets by something to eat she told me she doesn't want spend money her parents not gonna send her money any more thats wat she saying usually so i said im hungry i don't care give me your card i will go buy something she become angry and told me get out of my room i said no so she left i didn;t touched her after that i was hungry and so pisst off on her so i said her don't come back home i will crussh your had she didn't relply so after i come down i told her plz go back home i will leave you room just want you to be safe she didn't relply so after that somebody knocked da door i opened and it was cops they arrest me because im adult nowe in this country the put me in jail for 2days and now after one month i have to go to the court to deal with thaT ALSO they told me i can't contact her till 16 of january no text no saying hello nothing no contact at all other ways i will go back to jail so i went caffe in msn i saw her there she text me that she so sorry i couldn't relply to herbecause i signt paper that no contact othe ways go back to jail so i sighnt msn and my tears start coming out after tha i signed in msn and typed when somebody you trust stab you in the back it hearts she got 28/12/09 was unforgetible day im so sorry after i let my friend talk to her tell the situation she said she knows police told her every thing she invite her friend over and she changed her msn 28/12/09 was unforgettible day which makes me realize how much i need love my self more or how much i don't love my self something like that i changed my also i hide my tears when i say your name,but the pain in my heart is stil the same she didn't chanded any thing so im not sure what to do when i finish my court should i go back with her and be bf gf but if she calls cops i will go to jail for long time or should i not contact her at all after what she done but i feel she is good person gand helped me a lot or shoud i just be friends and contact only by msn all my friends told me forget about her but i just can't im so suffering i can't stop crying about her i can't be without her im so suffering what should i do plese tell me sorry my english spelling not good im so upset listening sad sond and feel like crying specially i know i can't contact herPlz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
you are a complete asshole! how could you hit your girlfriend and tell her that you are going to crush her head if she comes back to HEEEER apartment?? i hope that you go to jail for a long time and sit and think about the sh*t you did to her! i admit that she shouldn't be hitting you either, so i think the both of you should not be together, you obviously don't work, and you do not know how to respect each other!Plz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
You should move on. . . AND, get some anger management.
(And perhaps some grammar lessons as well. That was hard to read.)
This is a very unhealthy relationship its best you two have no contact ever again. Pull yourself together and move on, also never put your hands on anyone, prison will not be a nice place to visit.
i don't really understand what you're saying, but from what i understand, this isn't a healthy relationship, i would get out of it
Calm down brah... use the pimp hand.
What?! Thumbs down? If you didnt notice his name is Russian Pimp... if that were true he would know how to use the strength of the Pimp hand.
Lol.
i agree
Here is the story:
Me and my gf been together for 1 and half years im 18 now and my gf 23 i met her when i was 16 im an abroad in New Zealand so is she both students here without our family's
We living in the same apartment got two diferent rooms but im staying almost 24/7 in her place when i met her first maybe 3month i feel i like her but not love and now i cant be without her it's more then love first 3month was good we were living in different apartments but i stayed quite often in her place maybe 4times a week it was ok we missed each other so after i turned 18 i moved in her apartment and been in her room almost 24/7 she told me her ex bf heat her sometimes i said to her how dear he is but after we start know each other well our relationship changed more cloose like twins can't be without each other a day we start arguming and fighting i slap her many times in this relationship but after i said im so sorry i shouldn't do that so sorry but i tiold you stop punching me and you still do i don't know how to stop you that's why i try to slap her to tell her stop stop fighting i don't want this but she still going so it's become king of fight i never punched her really hard but i did punched her many times in this relationship only when she starts a fight punching me all over the place many time i still take it but after i tell her plz plz stop and she still going so after i just become angry and slep her tell her sh ut up lie down com down she tells me she scared of me im saying her i will not touch plz don't punch me be nice to each other etc. after we just usually going to sleep so we get use to to this kind of relationchip also her mam came before her mam doesn't liked me she said im to tall for her no money and to yaoung but my gf goes agains her mother and telling her she loves me to death so her mam left after that our relatiochip become the same as usuall sometimes we happy sometimes we fight she always start paying for me food,cloose etc because i don't have money etc sometimes she tells me she doesn't want me she pays for me but she still paying for me also she told me many times leave her room give her space i did but after i did not so what happened 4days ago we got argument we had a alcohol involved dat time she start punching me i punched her slap her body and it have scratch on her body now so after that next day she told me she doesn't like me drinking in her room any more i said ok you are the boss next day was fine and next day when i woke up i told her lets by something to eat she told me she doesn't want spend money her parents not gonna send her money any more thats wat she saying usually so i said im hungry i don't care give me your card i will go buy something she become angry and told me get out of my room i said no so she left i didn;t touched her after that i was hungry and so pisst off on her so i said her don't come back home i will crussh your had she didn't relply so after i come down i told her plz go back home i will leave you room just want you to be safe she didn't relply so after that somebody knocked da door i opened and it was cops they arrest me because im adult nowe in this country the put me in jail for 2days and now after one month i have to go to the court to deal with thaT ALSO they told me i can't contact her till 16 of january no text no saying hello nothing no contact at all other ways i will go back to jail so i went caffe in msn i saw her there she text me that she so sorry i couldn't relply to herbecause i signt paper that no contact othe ways go back to jail so i sighnt msn and my tears start coming out after tha i signed in msn and typed when somebody you trust stab you in the back it hearts she got 28/12/09 was unforgetible day im so sorry after i let my friend talk to her tell the situation she said she knows police told her every thing she invite her friend over and she changed her msn 28/12/09 was unforgettible day which makes me realize how much i need love my self more or how much i don't love my self something like that i changed my also i hide my tears when i say your name,but the pain in my heart is stil the same she didn't chanded any thing so im not sure what to do when i finish my court should i go back with her and be bf gf but if she calls cops i will go to jail for long time or should i not contact her at all after what she done but i feel she is good person gand helped me a lot or shoud i just be friends and contact only by msn all my friends told me forget about her but i just can't im so suffering i can't stop crying about her i can't be without her im so suffering what should i do plese tell me sorry my english spelling not good im so upset listening sad sond and feel like crying specially i know i can't contact herPlz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
you are a complete asshole! how could you hit your girlfriend and tell her that you are going to crush her head if she comes back to HEEEER apartment?? i hope that you go to jail for a long time and sit and think about the sh*t you did to her! i admit that she shouldn't be hitting you either, so i think the both of you should not be together, you obviously don't work, and you do not know how to respect each other!Plz people give me advice i din't know who to trust right now i didn't eat for 3days i didn't sleep good plz!!?
You should move on. . . AND, get some anger management.
(And perhaps some grammar lessons as well. That was hard to read.)
This is a very unhealthy relationship its best you two have no contact ever again. Pull yourself together and move on, also never put your hands on anyone, prison will not be a nice place to visit.
i don't really understand what you're saying, but from what i understand, this isn't a healthy relationship, i would get out of it
Calm down brah... use the pimp hand.
What?! Thumbs down? If you didnt notice his name is Russian Pimp... if that were true he would know how to use the strength of the Pimp hand.
Lol.
i agree
Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. Just last year, before our 3rd year anniversary, he broke up with me. Reason: he needed space. I admit that I am very tight with him. Anyway, two weeks later he came back. He did everything I wanted so as to gain my trust back. But up until now, 1 year later, I still feel very scared because he might do it again. Although he did do everything just to prove to me that he will never do it again. He is a very nice guy. He does not lie to me and does anything I ask for. I am getting scared once again because he is starting a new course and everyone in his class are girls. He made friends with them already and hangs out with them most of the time. He assures me that they are just friends and tells me a lot of stories about them. Maybe this is a case of jelousy, but what about my trust which I have just recently discovered has not yet recovered from that awful past...is it still my fault that I heal slowly? And can anyone please give me advice on what to do?Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
Firstly, you should trust him! He is the person that you love extremely, right? So you Nert to trust him! This is the basic belief that communicate with other people, let alone this is your love!
Secondly, you should give him his own space sometimes! The communication between you and him is very important, but you should have your own characteristics of yourself! Also, he Nert his own space to deal with his matters! Human beings are sociable!
Thirdly, you can go together with him in his parties and give his friends more smile! It is a good way, when you communicate with his friends, esp. the girls, to know his experiences in his course. The more you smile with him before his friends, the less challenge you will face.Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
you cant stress over whether or not someone is gonna leave you.
if you preoccupy yourself with theses notions then you're gonna miss out on a whole lotta life.
If he chooses to leave there's nothing you can do about it. Its a decision for him to make.
Be yourself and make the most of what you two have going on.
tell your boyfriends that this is how you feel!
I can tell you that if you continue to mistrust him he'll most likely leave. You need to either trust him or not, there really isn't any middle ground here. Not believing him is just calling him a liar and no one with any self-respect is going to tolerate that for long. I can see why he needed space before if you are too clingy. Love is like a rubber band, if you pull apart from the one you love for a while, then you'll spring back together closer than before. It's normal for people to go through cycles so if things change a little don't worry too much about it. If he starts spending all of this spare time with his new friends, then you might have something to worry about.
Firstly, you should trust him! He is the person that you love extremely, right? So you Nert to trust him! This is the basic belief that communicate with other people, let alone this is your love!
Secondly, you should give him his own space sometimes! The communication between you and him is very important, but you should have your own characteristics of yourself! Also, he Nert his own space to deal with his matters! Human beings are sociable!
Thirdly, you can go together with him in his parties and give his friends more smile! It is a good way, when you communicate with his friends, esp. the girls, to know his experiences in his course. The more you smile with him before his friends, the less challenge you will face.Trust issues, can anyone please give me an advice?
you cant stress over whether or not someone is gonna leave you.
if you preoccupy yourself with theses notions then you're gonna miss out on a whole lotta life.
If he chooses to leave there's nothing you can do about it. Its a decision for him to make.
Be yourself and make the most of what you two have going on.
tell your boyfriends that this is how you feel!
I can tell you that if you continue to mistrust him he'll most likely leave. You need to either trust him or not, there really isn't any middle ground here. Not believing him is just calling him a liar and no one with any self-respect is going to tolerate that for long. I can see why he needed space before if you are too clingy. Love is like a rubber band, if you pull apart from the one you love for a while, then you'll spring back together closer than before. It's normal for people to go through cycles so if things change a little don't worry too much about it. If he starts spending all of this spare time with his new friends, then you might have something to worry about.
I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
I have been dating a girl quite steadily for an excess of seven months. We had not kissed until approximately six months. Perhaps slow on our part, I would naively like to think well paced though. Last Saturday however we were laying in a local park taking in a cool spring evening and things heated up, quickly. After simply kissing for quite sometime we found ourselves lying on top of one another engaging in what can only be characterized as ';clothed sex.'; At the time, the two of us thought nothing of it. However, upon speaking with her the next day she was quite distressed about our previous ';playing with fire.';
Although she knows that I would not compromise her in anyway and she was just as much a player in the evening as I was, I still believe that she feels violated to a certain degree. This young lady is the reason that I live and breath. Any advice on how to reestablish our deep ethical and moral trust is greatly appreciated.
Cordially,
Steek
Jesters needn't advise thx.I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Wow, aren't you a gentleman? It would be nice if there were more like you in the world.
Just be honest with her. Say things got a bit heated up, but if it's not what she wants, then it wont happen again unless she feels ready for it. I'm sure she trusts you, like you say, and she's probably feeling more guilty about her own part in it than yours. Tell her you still think the world of her, and if she needs some breathing space, you can give that. I doubt she'll take you up on it, though. She'd be crazy to let you out of her sight!I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Maybe if you ask her to log on to Yahoo answers and read your question, she'll realize how much she means to you and how much you care for her and her insecurity would disappear. She's luck to have you...if you stay like that forever of course.
it takes two to tango and she was part of this tango. you didnt do anything wrong, i just think she is a little embarressed that she let it get that far. just reassure her that you will only go as far as she wants too and like you said wouldnt do anything to compromise her morals or ethics. she really does have to own up to the fact that she is partly responsible for what happened in the park. you seem like a decent guy so good luck.
for now don't even kiss her let her feel comfortable inthe sensual part of the rellationship again! Take it slow and let her know that you understand her feelings and it won't happen first on your part unless she initiates it!
Keep seeing this young lady and tell her that you will, from now on, only go as far as she wishes you to go because she means the world to you. Show her the uttmost respect and attention from now on. Do not ever take her for granted because this happened. Consider courtship with her instead of just dating if you believe she could be wife material. Give the matter some very serious thought, since the chemistry is there along with the ethical and moral trust. You might want to plan a proposal in the near future so she will know you aren't playing with her affection.
Give her plenty of time and space to think about it. Try not to contact her even if you don't hear from her for a week or so. Once she has had time to think she will realise what a gentleman you have been and how foolish she would be if she let her confusion push you away. It sounds to me like you have the patience of a saint and saints always get what they deserve in the end. Just try not to worry.x
The best is to put it behind you guys and move on. I don't know how old you are or your girlfriend is but from what you are telling me you guys are both OK with keep a slow paced relationship. There is nothing wrong with it but you both have to accept what your biology needs are. This kind of episode may or may not happen later but she needs to know that you respect her enough not to push her into anything that she doesn't want. You can talk to her about that, but forget about the previous episode and move on like normal loving couples.
Best of luck to you.
just slow down a bit and let her know that you are going to go there unless she makes the first moves. i say moves plural for a reason - it lets her know that won't go there impulsively. if your young there is no hurry anyway
Wow, well spoken, whole words, correct English...I'm impressed.
It sounds like she is scared of her feelings...what is her religious position? Yours? If she feels guilty then she is likely putting it off on you. This is unfair but if she doesn't know how to go back to where you were before that evening then maybe you need to reassure her that you will make the effort to do that as well. Maybe it just needs to be voiced. It sounds as if she wants to be with you as well but is torn between that desire and her deeper desire to remain wholesome...and there is nothing at all wrong with that. If you truly love her the way that you say you do then I would be absolutely honest with her and tell her that you love her and that you don't want to do anything to push her any faster than she wants to go. Hopefully she isn't too shy to be honest back. It sounds like she is a rare treasure in the vast piles of cheap sparkly trinkets and their constant problems with sexual misconduct, fear of STDs, and fear of pregnancy at way too young an age.
When you go out with her now pretend like that does not happen. Don't talk about it, I think she is embrass about it and she feels that you would not respect her anymore. Show her the same way that you have been with her for the last 7 month. Later she will realise about it and when it's time for her to talk then you can discuss it but from today onwards don't mention a thing. Don't forget to sent her flower and a thank you note for being your friend
dont do that joey....as my other family and friends would tell me. if you really love that lady, then wait....dont rush. the more you rush the more she will go away from you.
Give her a bunch of flowers. Go to your florist and pick out a bunch of beautiful fun flowers. Not roses,too obvious.
You clearly think a lot of each other.
She wants YOU! Lets get that straight, but she wants to retain her dignity also, which you have to respect.
Tell her how much you admire, respect her, which is why you both have waited so long.
Show her you care about her! Not only the sex, although that is completely natural.
Love my friend! Tell her.Just remember this, if you have sex she may believe that the enigma has gone for you both and that there is nothing left.
Take a look at http://love-lust-n-life.blogspot.com/ for some good advice.
Take good care both of you and good luck
i think you must be the sweaters guy i have ever got the privilege to speak to here today !
the reason she feels like that could be much deeper that we think so i suggest talk to her about it and explain to her that you did not mean to make her feel uncomfortable at all and that you are willing to wait until she is ready for it !
as well as ready to speak to you about it !
i think you are very sincere and keep it that way !
shell come around and find the same thing !
:) AL smiling today ! good luck man keep your head up high !
Man i can relate... my gf is pretty anchored in out church and does not believe in premarital sex... although I have engaged in this act with other gf, I believe that she is the one and respect her decision to wait. We found ourselves in the same situation as you two just a week ago, us both having very healthy sex drives we were defiantly ';dry docking'; as Ive always called it.. but even took it a little further... The difference in the situations is that she was the aggressor.. We too had a phone conversation and both were unhappy in our lustful actions... My advice and the road I'm taking.. is to share your concern and desire to obtain her full moral trust... also prayer usually works. Hope it helps.
Although she knows that I would not compromise her in anyway and she was just as much a player in the evening as I was, I still believe that she feels violated to a certain degree. This young lady is the reason that I live and breath. Any advice on how to reestablish our deep ethical and moral trust is greatly appreciated.
Cordially,
Steek
Jesters needn't advise thx.I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Wow, aren't you a gentleman? It would be nice if there were more like you in the world.
Just be honest with her. Say things got a bit heated up, but if it's not what she wants, then it wont happen again unless she feels ready for it. I'm sure she trusts you, like you say, and she's probably feeling more guilty about her own part in it than yours. Tell her you still think the world of her, and if she needs some breathing space, you can give that. I doubt she'll take you up on it, though. She'd be crazy to let you out of her sight!I am a young man in need of assistance regaining moral trust with the young woman I love. All advice welcome.?
Maybe if you ask her to log on to Yahoo answers and read your question, she'll realize how much she means to you and how much you care for her and her insecurity would disappear. She's luck to have you...if you stay like that forever of course.
it takes two to tango and she was part of this tango. you didnt do anything wrong, i just think she is a little embarressed that she let it get that far. just reassure her that you will only go as far as she wants too and like you said wouldnt do anything to compromise her morals or ethics. she really does have to own up to the fact that she is partly responsible for what happened in the park. you seem like a decent guy so good luck.
for now don't even kiss her let her feel comfortable inthe sensual part of the rellationship again! Take it slow and let her know that you understand her feelings and it won't happen first on your part unless she initiates it!
Keep seeing this young lady and tell her that you will, from now on, only go as far as she wishes you to go because she means the world to you. Show her the uttmost respect and attention from now on. Do not ever take her for granted because this happened. Consider courtship with her instead of just dating if you believe she could be wife material. Give the matter some very serious thought, since the chemistry is there along with the ethical and moral trust. You might want to plan a proposal in the near future so she will know you aren't playing with her affection.
Give her plenty of time and space to think about it. Try not to contact her even if you don't hear from her for a week or so. Once she has had time to think she will realise what a gentleman you have been and how foolish she would be if she let her confusion push you away. It sounds to me like you have the patience of a saint and saints always get what they deserve in the end. Just try not to worry.x
The best is to put it behind you guys and move on. I don't know how old you are or your girlfriend is but from what you are telling me you guys are both OK with keep a slow paced relationship. There is nothing wrong with it but you both have to accept what your biology needs are. This kind of episode may or may not happen later but she needs to know that you respect her enough not to push her into anything that she doesn't want. You can talk to her about that, but forget about the previous episode and move on like normal loving couples.
Best of luck to you.
just slow down a bit and let her know that you are going to go there unless she makes the first moves. i say moves plural for a reason - it lets her know that won't go there impulsively. if your young there is no hurry anyway
Wow, well spoken, whole words, correct English...I'm impressed.
It sounds like she is scared of her feelings...what is her religious position? Yours? If she feels guilty then she is likely putting it off on you. This is unfair but if she doesn't know how to go back to where you were before that evening then maybe you need to reassure her that you will make the effort to do that as well. Maybe it just needs to be voiced. It sounds as if she wants to be with you as well but is torn between that desire and her deeper desire to remain wholesome...and there is nothing at all wrong with that. If you truly love her the way that you say you do then I would be absolutely honest with her and tell her that you love her and that you don't want to do anything to push her any faster than she wants to go. Hopefully she isn't too shy to be honest back. It sounds like she is a rare treasure in the vast piles of cheap sparkly trinkets and their constant problems with sexual misconduct, fear of STDs, and fear of pregnancy at way too young an age.
When you go out with her now pretend like that does not happen. Don't talk about it, I think she is embrass about it and she feels that you would not respect her anymore. Show her the same way that you have been with her for the last 7 month. Later she will realise about it and when it's time for her to talk then you can discuss it but from today onwards don't mention a thing. Don't forget to sent her flower and a thank you note for being your friend
dont do that joey....as my other family and friends would tell me. if you really love that lady, then wait....dont rush. the more you rush the more she will go away from you.
Give her a bunch of flowers. Go to your florist and pick out a bunch of beautiful fun flowers. Not roses,too obvious.
You clearly think a lot of each other.
She wants YOU! Lets get that straight, but she wants to retain her dignity also, which you have to respect.
Tell her how much you admire, respect her, which is why you both have waited so long.
Show her you care about her! Not only the sex, although that is completely natural.
Love my friend! Tell her.Just remember this, if you have sex she may believe that the enigma has gone for you both and that there is nothing left.
Take a look at http://love-lust-n-life.blogspot.com/ for some good advice.
Take good care both of you and good luck
i think you must be the sweaters guy i have ever got the privilege to speak to here today !
the reason she feels like that could be much deeper that we think so i suggest talk to her about it and explain to her that you did not mean to make her feel uncomfortable at all and that you are willing to wait until she is ready for it !
as well as ready to speak to you about it !
i think you are very sincere and keep it that way !
shell come around and find the same thing !
:) AL smiling today ! good luck man keep your head up high !
Man i can relate... my gf is pretty anchored in out church and does not believe in premarital sex... although I have engaged in this act with other gf, I believe that she is the one and respect her decision to wait. We found ourselves in the same situation as you two just a week ago, us both having very healthy sex drives we were defiantly ';dry docking'; as Ive always called it.. but even took it a little further... The difference in the situations is that she was the aggressor.. We too had a phone conversation and both were unhappy in our lustful actions... My advice and the road I'm taking.. is to share your concern and desire to obtain her full moral trust... also prayer usually works. Hope it helps.
Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
I made some choices finacially that didn't sit well with my wife. I'm going to lay it out there for you, think of me what you will, but I made these choices in order to actually help our finacial situation at the moment. She's currently not working and I have the resposibility of keeping us afloat.
What I did, and this isn't fist time, was lied to her about our finacial situation. Yeah, a shitty thing to do, and normally I wouldn't. We both know right now that our finaces arn't the best. We have bills (which I always pay!!!). I neglected to come clean with her on this because I hate to see her worried. I want her to feel cofortable and secure, and not worry so much and get frustrated while she's working to better herself. (going for another degree) So to take more worry off her chest, I told her I didn't do what I really did in order to et some bils payed and a little extra to do something nice to her (Ok, fine, a cash advance on a credit card, not a lot though just enough)Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
Okay, well.. things are out in the open and you two can work together to fix this - hun, if this is the worst that you and your wife face together during your marriage, consider yourselves blessed. Remember that although bills bother her, you agreed to share your life together.. and unless your vows had a clause that said ';I'll share all of my life with you, except when I think it's in your best interest...'; to be honest with her... Although you were trying to ';protect'; her, she's not very happy now, is she... You two just really need to focus on communication with eachother.. honesty, trust, and communication are keys... But, she should be thankful the deciet was on the side of love and caring, too.. It's not like you were taking money out of the accts to finance your ';secret'; drug habit or something.. You love her, just tell her that and work together - it will get better.Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
That made me feel better. Thanks. Everything worked out OK once we both cooled down and talked about it. We're working on making things better for us now so we don't get too far over our heads.
You want her trust? Then from now on, you set certain dates and certain times that you sit down TOGETHER and go over all the bills, what is in the account(s) etc. You manage finances TOGETHER.
She is an adult, she can handle knowing when things are tight. You weren't doing her any favors by lying. If a credit card advance is needed - then it should be a decision made mutually. (which btw is really the LAST thing you should do, considering the finance charges, you really end up in more debt than you start off with) Regardless of who is actually bringing IN the money at the time.
Her depression has nothing to do with money - it has to do with you betraying her - you can also get into marriage counseling with her to prove you want to work on your honesty %26amp; commitment.
I was in the same situation just oppisite. i was playing the role of your wife while my husband did the same thing as you did. i was like your wife but i was pregnant and my husband didnt want to stress me out so here is what he did and maybe it will help. sit her down and first apologize and then take your stack of bills and sit down with her and go through them together. so then you wont have to lie to her and she can feel informed about the bills and maybe you can even let her write out the check or call the bill place up and give your credit card number to them so she feels trustworthy and special so you get your bills paid and she feels informed that is what my husband did and it helps alot. and your not a bad person just include her with these take care hope this helps
u need to always tell her the truth and talk to her before u make the decision. that will help her out alot knowing u can come to her.. good luck
My soon to be husband is the same way. It is very sweet that you want to take the burden of financial worry and keep it to your self. But honestly she is not going to understand this because I don't. (I go to school and my fiance worries about bills.) But the best way to keep her happy is to keep an honest and open relationship. Let her know your financial stand point because she wants to feel like she's working with you. Whether she can help with payments or no she wants to feel like a partner in this relationship. She wants you to just be honest. Explain to her that you thought this was the best way to handle the situation and she will understand...eventually...we always can empathize with those we love. God Bless
Tell her to chill out, you did not use that money in order to go to Vegas and party with strippers. You are doing all you can to keep your household going, and tell her that in the future you will consult her on any big financial decisions. It's not the end of the world, it's only money. No one committed murder, adultery, or any other criminal offence, it's a small mistake done in good intentions. She has to work with you for a better future, and it's ridiculous to let this fairly small thing get between you and cause such a commotion. Life is messy. So what? Clean up the mess and move on. Money cannot be such a major issue, especially when your intentions were to put it into the household. If she needs more cash, tell her to get a part time job. A lot of people go to school AND work.
as long as ur not selling drugs or doing anything illegal you're good in my books. don't worry so much. you're only trying to help. maybe u can come clean with her when she's working again?
waw , if everyone can have a good husband like you. what you say is really very touching. It's good that you tell her about it. Remember tell her you will never do that again. She has a heart and she will definitely forgive you. I think she already forgive you she just pretend she's not for a while so that you will non do the same thing again. Don't worry your lover knows what kind of man she got and she wont give it up for anything in the world.
Just start telling her of such things, and don't lie anymore. Let her worry, it's ok! You're both in it together. If this is the ONLY thing that is making her distrustful, just stop doing it, and she will come around.
You need to take her off this pedestal you have her on and start thinking of her as your partner/your team mate.
No, if you are both financially wrecked right now, she doesn't need pampering or ';little extra'; nice things. Neither do you. Both of you are in this together, so you will both suffer together. Take her off the pedestal and work as a team. She doesn't want to hear sorry (please don't go buy her a f*cking bouquet of flowers), she wants CHANGE. So arrange a dinner date (at home, I suggest you cooking the dinner yourself, clip some coupons to buy the ingredients and be cheap about it) and have your credit card balances, bank statements, mortgage and car balances, school bills, etc. all in a neat pile. And talk about it. Together. Bring scratch pad and pens. Lay it all out - this is what we have and this is what we owe and this is what we have coming in (income). Then plan a budget. And stick to it. And be open about it.
Tell her you're sorry for what you did but you did it out of love but that now you understand you two are in it TOGETHER, and so you will be honest from now on. And that if she wants, she can handle ALL OF THE MONEY (you get NO credit cards, no check books, NOTHING) and you hand her your check when you are paid and she hands you in CASH what you need for the week (gas, food, etc.) and that is all.
ALSO make a list of expenses you two can possibly give up... cable television, reduce minutes on your cell phone plan, or if you have a home phone and a cell phone, give up the home phone (alot of people do that now-a-days), to save gas, maybe carpool a few days a week... pack lunches...
That's whats going to work.
Keeping your pride and sheltering her won't.
Good luck.
I agree with Spazn.....
TALK things over with her...You are a TEAM...!
I think that your heart is in the right place. I think that it is wonderful that you are allowing her to get another degree and taking care of all the bills. It is also wonderful to see that you know that she deserves nice things as well. The only thing I would advise against is the ommision of information, and getting a cash advance on a credit care. That can sometimes change the terms of your credit card agreement and have you actually paying more so be careful. I wish you the best of luck!!
I actually think it's sweet that you don't want her to worry while she's bettering herself. I went to college late myself and I know how stressful it can be. I can understand why you wouldn't want to add to that.
Telling her about it is your decision. If you decide to tell her, word it just as you did here. She may be upset, but I don't see how she wouldn't understand. Being a woman, I may be a bit hurt that you kept something from me, but I would understand why you did it. It is definately something that can be forgiven and forgotten.
I understand and can appreciate why you lied to her. However, I think you should come clean. Why? You seem a little bitter that she's not working. You obviously wish she would help out. You need to tell her this, not harbor resentments which will only grow and build and come to a head someday. She's your partner in life, all of it. More than anyone else, she can help carry your burdens, but not if you don't tell her the truth. Let her know exactly how the financial situation is, and tell her you need her to help.
OK, so now your in debt. I also don't understand why you would pay more interest for a cash advance rather then just charge the item. Anyway, you came clean and do no do it again. Your wife needs to be included when you are doing the finance. Why not do them together. By leading her to believe everything is OK she might be spending more then she would if she new there were a little extra bills. We all make mistakes and your intentions sound sincere Just don't do that again.
Call your credit card companies try to lower your interest rate and or consolidate your bills. Send payments weekly so you can bring down the bills even an extra 50 would help.
Good Luck.
Idk!!!
What I did, and this isn't fist time, was lied to her about our finacial situation. Yeah, a shitty thing to do, and normally I wouldn't. We both know right now that our finaces arn't the best. We have bills (which I always pay!!!). I neglected to come clean with her on this because I hate to see her worried. I want her to feel cofortable and secure, and not worry so much and get frustrated while she's working to better herself. (going for another degree) So to take more worry off her chest, I told her I didn't do what I really did in order to et some bils payed and a little extra to do something nice to her (Ok, fine, a cash advance on a credit card, not a lot though just enough)Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
Okay, well.. things are out in the open and you two can work together to fix this - hun, if this is the worst that you and your wife face together during your marriage, consider yourselves blessed. Remember that although bills bother her, you agreed to share your life together.. and unless your vows had a clause that said ';I'll share all of my life with you, except when I think it's in your best interest...'; to be honest with her... Although you were trying to ';protect'; her, she's not very happy now, is she... You two just really need to focus on communication with eachother.. honesty, trust, and communication are keys... But, she should be thankful the deciet was on the side of love and caring, too.. It's not like you were taking money out of the accts to finance your ';secret'; drug habit or something.. You love her, just tell her that and work together - it will get better.Trust, It's more important than you think..Help! need advice, a pick-me-up, and maybe some encouragement...
That made me feel better. Thanks. Everything worked out OK once we both cooled down and talked about it. We're working on making things better for us now so we don't get too far over our heads.
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You want her trust? Then from now on, you set certain dates and certain times that you sit down TOGETHER and go over all the bills, what is in the account(s) etc. You manage finances TOGETHER.
She is an adult, she can handle knowing when things are tight. You weren't doing her any favors by lying. If a credit card advance is needed - then it should be a decision made mutually. (which btw is really the LAST thing you should do, considering the finance charges, you really end up in more debt than you start off with) Regardless of who is actually bringing IN the money at the time.
Her depression has nothing to do with money - it has to do with you betraying her - you can also get into marriage counseling with her to prove you want to work on your honesty %26amp; commitment.
I was in the same situation just oppisite. i was playing the role of your wife while my husband did the same thing as you did. i was like your wife but i was pregnant and my husband didnt want to stress me out so here is what he did and maybe it will help. sit her down and first apologize and then take your stack of bills and sit down with her and go through them together. so then you wont have to lie to her and she can feel informed about the bills and maybe you can even let her write out the check or call the bill place up and give your credit card number to them so she feels trustworthy and special so you get your bills paid and she feels informed that is what my husband did and it helps alot. and your not a bad person just include her with these take care hope this helps
u need to always tell her the truth and talk to her before u make the decision. that will help her out alot knowing u can come to her.. good luck
My soon to be husband is the same way. It is very sweet that you want to take the burden of financial worry and keep it to your self. But honestly she is not going to understand this because I don't. (I go to school and my fiance worries about bills.) But the best way to keep her happy is to keep an honest and open relationship. Let her know your financial stand point because she wants to feel like she's working with you. Whether she can help with payments or no she wants to feel like a partner in this relationship. She wants you to just be honest. Explain to her that you thought this was the best way to handle the situation and she will understand...eventually...we always can empathize with those we love. God Bless
Tell her to chill out, you did not use that money in order to go to Vegas and party with strippers. You are doing all you can to keep your household going, and tell her that in the future you will consult her on any big financial decisions. It's not the end of the world, it's only money. No one committed murder, adultery, or any other criminal offence, it's a small mistake done in good intentions. She has to work with you for a better future, and it's ridiculous to let this fairly small thing get between you and cause such a commotion. Life is messy. So what? Clean up the mess and move on. Money cannot be such a major issue, especially when your intentions were to put it into the household. If she needs more cash, tell her to get a part time job. A lot of people go to school AND work.
as long as ur not selling drugs or doing anything illegal you're good in my books. don't worry so much. you're only trying to help. maybe u can come clean with her when she's working again?
waw , if everyone can have a good husband like you. what you say is really very touching. It's good that you tell her about it. Remember tell her you will never do that again. She has a heart and she will definitely forgive you. I think she already forgive you she just pretend she's not for a while so that you will non do the same thing again. Don't worry your lover knows what kind of man she got and she wont give it up for anything in the world.
Just start telling her of such things, and don't lie anymore. Let her worry, it's ok! You're both in it together. If this is the ONLY thing that is making her distrustful, just stop doing it, and she will come around.
You need to take her off this pedestal you have her on and start thinking of her as your partner/your team mate.
No, if you are both financially wrecked right now, she doesn't need pampering or ';little extra'; nice things. Neither do you. Both of you are in this together, so you will both suffer together. Take her off the pedestal and work as a team. She doesn't want to hear sorry (please don't go buy her a f*cking bouquet of flowers), she wants CHANGE. So arrange a dinner date (at home, I suggest you cooking the dinner yourself, clip some coupons to buy the ingredients and be cheap about it) and have your credit card balances, bank statements, mortgage and car balances, school bills, etc. all in a neat pile. And talk about it. Together. Bring scratch pad and pens. Lay it all out - this is what we have and this is what we owe and this is what we have coming in (income). Then plan a budget. And stick to it. And be open about it.
Tell her you're sorry for what you did but you did it out of love but that now you understand you two are in it TOGETHER, and so you will be honest from now on. And that if she wants, she can handle ALL OF THE MONEY (you get NO credit cards, no check books, NOTHING) and you hand her your check when you are paid and she hands you in CASH what you need for the week (gas, food, etc.) and that is all.
ALSO make a list of expenses you two can possibly give up... cable television, reduce minutes on your cell phone plan, or if you have a home phone and a cell phone, give up the home phone (alot of people do that now-a-days), to save gas, maybe carpool a few days a week... pack lunches...
That's whats going to work.
Keeping your pride and sheltering her won't.
Good luck.
I agree with Spazn.....
TALK things over with her...You are a TEAM...!
I think that your heart is in the right place. I think that it is wonderful that you are allowing her to get another degree and taking care of all the bills. It is also wonderful to see that you know that she deserves nice things as well. The only thing I would advise against is the ommision of information, and getting a cash advance on a credit care. That can sometimes change the terms of your credit card agreement and have you actually paying more so be careful. I wish you the best of luck!!
I actually think it's sweet that you don't want her to worry while she's bettering herself. I went to college late myself and I know how stressful it can be. I can understand why you wouldn't want to add to that.
Telling her about it is your decision. If you decide to tell her, word it just as you did here. She may be upset, but I don't see how she wouldn't understand. Being a woman, I may be a bit hurt that you kept something from me, but I would understand why you did it. It is definately something that can be forgiven and forgotten.
I understand and can appreciate why you lied to her. However, I think you should come clean. Why? You seem a little bitter that she's not working. You obviously wish she would help out. You need to tell her this, not harbor resentments which will only grow and build and come to a head someday. She's your partner in life, all of it. More than anyone else, she can help carry your burdens, but not if you don't tell her the truth. Let her know exactly how the financial situation is, and tell her you need her to help.
OK, so now your in debt. I also don't understand why you would pay more interest for a cash advance rather then just charge the item. Anyway, you came clean and do no do it again. Your wife needs to be included when you are doing the finance. Why not do them together. By leading her to believe everything is OK she might be spending more then she would if she new there were a little extra bills. We all make mistakes and your intentions sound sincere Just don't do that again.
Call your credit card companies try to lower your interest rate and or consolidate your bills. Send payments weekly so you can bring down the bills even an extra 50 would help.
Good Luck.
Idk!!!
Will I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
Last week I found out that my Boyfriend was exchanging sexually explicit emails with another woman online. He said that they never met in person, we had a huge blow-up over this issue, resolved it (with him swearing never to do it again) and then continued on with a wonderful weekend. Seek and you shall find I always say....well on Monday I found pictures of him hidden away on the computer posing nude on our bed. Even though we have also talked about this and he swore to me that he took the pictures but never sent them to the woman he was exchanging emails with (I am not sure if I should believe that), I am still feeling disgusted with the whole thing. He swore to me that it would never happen again, and that he loves me and can't live without me. Bottom line, I feel betrayed, like our beautiful realationship has been smuged with toxic waste. Will the wound in my heart ever heal?Will I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
This is the kind of behavior that, as the man gets more involved, can lead to affairs and such. I am always skeptical when a boyfriend or whomever does something like this then rushes to apologies and promises... Why is he even venturing into such murky waters?
Online relationships can be as dangerous as physical ones. It's the pattern. Now he's sending nude pictures to some strange woman (or man) in emails. In five years you'll catch him sneaking around with other women. Someone like this, you cannot trust once he has given you reason not to.
I suggest seriously talking to him, tell him exactly how you feel about him and his behavior, cut the bullshit, and where you see your relationship going. Many more fish in the sea, it's always darkest before dawn, and so forth.
All it takes is time to heal from this.
I know that of where I speak.
Good LuckWill I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
I doubt the wound will heal and even worse, I doubt he will stop doing what he is doing with other women.
I can tell you that yes you heart will heal. There are over 3 billion men in this world and your's in but one. :) I am not sure, however, that he will change. I had a boyfriend years ago that engaged in this sort of thing as well. Sending dirty e-mails and pictures of himself always to women he met online. We had 2 years into the relationship and put another 2 in before I gave up. This type of behavior is an early sign of exihibitionism, there is really nothing wrong with it if all parties are ok. I don't think that you are. People with sexually fetches have a need to fulfill them the way you and I need to eat. He won't stop, but he will get better at hiding his behavior from you since you have made it clear that it is unacceptable for you. Good luck
OK if your still with him your just a dumbass. listen to yourself and you tell me if you should stay.
get down the clinic hes got something you dont want
believe that crap if you want to. That man has been sending nudie pics of himself for years probaly. You think you just wake up one morning feeling sexy and decide to take naked pictures on the bed you and your girlfriend sleep on. Please. Unless you were the one taking the pictures you have no business with this loser. So trust your better judgement. If you feel like he's cheating...it's because he is.(womans intuition never lies)
He is still doing it, or if not he will be soon. He will get smarter about how he hides it from you, but rest assured he will not stop.
It is a sickness, you are either faithful or not. You can not be a little pregnant, and you can not have a little affair, given the chance he would meet up with her.
You have to decide if you can put up with his wandering ways or not, if so best of luck, if not get out and best of luck.
yes, the wounds in your heart will heal. But you should stop snooping in your BF's stuff if you don't like what you find. Ignorance is bliss
If you are not into the same erotica that turns him on then move on to someone who shares the same morals and values as you! If he has a kinky side that he isnt sharing with you then its not healthy and you could set yourself up for more suspicions in the future. Do you really want to be with a guy who you will always be suspicious of? Its not worth the energy of worrying when you could be enjoying a life with a boyfriend who makes you feel complete and special and who does not make you feel as though he needs more stimulation from someone else! get rid of him!
I think he sent those pictures. Why would he deny it otherwise. You want to trust him, but I think at this point it would be naive not to think there was something there. I know you probably want to salvage what you have, but he has not been true. I would leave him!
If that's the way you feel, let him go. He doesn't deserve u. And if you are doubting that you will be able to trust him again, chances are you won't be. Think about what's best for you. Look out for yourself!
Once trust is gone from a relationship, it's almost always impossible to repair the damage.
Kick his naked butt to the curb!!!!
If you truly value yourself, this little incident will eventually become just a 'little bump in the road'. You've been betrayed and now it's a matter of how you want to handle things. Trust is a precious thing and hard to regain. I think your boyfriend has some serious issues to resolve before he is ready to be in a loving relationship. Walk away before you get stuck! Good Luck
Yes your heart will heal. But your trust has been betrayed and broken and that hon, takes a very very long time to rebuild. Let him know that he is going to have to work very hard to rebuild trust and that it won't come easy to him, and you are going to be distrustful for a while.
Some men behave in the Internet like this. It always makes me furious. They come In ICQ or MSN with some pics or some sexual offers. I always delete them. But it gets on my nerves. As far as there are such men there are such women who want to please themselves sexually and virtually......So it is a kind of a hobby... But to tell the truth. if it were my boyfriend, I'd rather be worried, because it is a psychological problem. I don't think he really has some serious intentions with nude pics. Hugs Irene
Being as INSECURE as you are. You will NEVER get over it and as a result this will have a very negative effect on your relationship with this guy. Why don't you save yourself some PAIN and JUST MOVE ON.
This is the kind of behavior that, as the man gets more involved, can lead to affairs and such. I am always skeptical when a boyfriend or whomever does something like this then rushes to apologies and promises... Why is he even venturing into such murky waters?
Online relationships can be as dangerous as physical ones. It's the pattern. Now he's sending nude pictures to some strange woman (or man) in emails. In five years you'll catch him sneaking around with other women. Someone like this, you cannot trust once he has given you reason not to.
I suggest seriously talking to him, tell him exactly how you feel about him and his behavior, cut the bullshit, and where you see your relationship going. Many more fish in the sea, it's always darkest before dawn, and so forth.
All it takes is time to heal from this.
I know that of where I speak.
Good LuckWill I ever be able to trust him again?? I really need some realtionship advice?
I doubt the wound will heal and even worse, I doubt he will stop doing what he is doing with other women.
I can tell you that yes you heart will heal. There are over 3 billion men in this world and your's in but one. :) I am not sure, however, that he will change. I had a boyfriend years ago that engaged in this sort of thing as well. Sending dirty e-mails and pictures of himself always to women he met online. We had 2 years into the relationship and put another 2 in before I gave up. This type of behavior is an early sign of exihibitionism, there is really nothing wrong with it if all parties are ok. I don't think that you are. People with sexually fetches have a need to fulfill them the way you and I need to eat. He won't stop, but he will get better at hiding his behavior from you since you have made it clear that it is unacceptable for you. Good luck
OK if your still with him your just a dumbass. listen to yourself and you tell me if you should stay.
get down the clinic hes got something you dont want
believe that crap if you want to. That man has been sending nudie pics of himself for years probaly. You think you just wake up one morning feeling sexy and decide to take naked pictures on the bed you and your girlfriend sleep on. Please. Unless you were the one taking the pictures you have no business with this loser. So trust your better judgement. If you feel like he's cheating...it's because he is.(womans intuition never lies)
He is still doing it, or if not he will be soon. He will get smarter about how he hides it from you, but rest assured he will not stop.
It is a sickness, you are either faithful or not. You can not be a little pregnant, and you can not have a little affair, given the chance he would meet up with her.
You have to decide if you can put up with his wandering ways or not, if so best of luck, if not get out and best of luck.
yes, the wounds in your heart will heal. But you should stop snooping in your BF's stuff if you don't like what you find. Ignorance is bliss
If you are not into the same erotica that turns him on then move on to someone who shares the same morals and values as you! If he has a kinky side that he isnt sharing with you then its not healthy and you could set yourself up for more suspicions in the future. Do you really want to be with a guy who you will always be suspicious of? Its not worth the energy of worrying when you could be enjoying a life with a boyfriend who makes you feel complete and special and who does not make you feel as though he needs more stimulation from someone else! get rid of him!
I think he sent those pictures. Why would he deny it otherwise. You want to trust him, but I think at this point it would be naive not to think there was something there. I know you probably want to salvage what you have, but he has not been true. I would leave him!
If that's the way you feel, let him go. He doesn't deserve u. And if you are doubting that you will be able to trust him again, chances are you won't be. Think about what's best for you. Look out for yourself!
Once trust is gone from a relationship, it's almost always impossible to repair the damage.
Kick his naked butt to the curb!!!!
If you truly value yourself, this little incident will eventually become just a 'little bump in the road'. You've been betrayed and now it's a matter of how you want to handle things. Trust is a precious thing and hard to regain. I think your boyfriend has some serious issues to resolve before he is ready to be in a loving relationship. Walk away before you get stuck! Good Luck
Yes your heart will heal. But your trust has been betrayed and broken and that hon, takes a very very long time to rebuild. Let him know that he is going to have to work very hard to rebuild trust and that it won't come easy to him, and you are going to be distrustful for a while.
Some men behave in the Internet like this. It always makes me furious. They come In ICQ or MSN with some pics or some sexual offers. I always delete them. But it gets on my nerves. As far as there are such men there are such women who want to please themselves sexually and virtually......So it is a kind of a hobby... But to tell the truth. if it were my boyfriend, I'd rather be worried, because it is a psychological problem. I don't think he really has some serious intentions with nude pics. Hugs Irene
Being as INSECURE as you are. You will NEVER get over it and as a result this will have a very negative effect on your relationship with this guy. Why don't you save yourself some PAIN and JUST MOVE ON.
My bf told me to ';never trust a man with a mole on his face';...is this good advice??!?
LoL, of course not! What's his ';valid'; reason behind this?My bf told me to ';never trust a man with a mole on his face';...is this good advice??!?
Im pretty sure he meant it metaphorically. I have a feeling he heard that saying and either didnt understand what it meant or used it in the wrong context because it seems to me he was trying to tell you not to trust any man at all.My bf told me to ';never trust a man with a mole on his face';...is this good advice??!?
It is silly advice, for it has no basis in anything
He is saying this so u won't be atrracted to guys with moles on their face a higly common place for guys to have moles he is saying so becuz he iz insecure so u have less guys to be attracted to lol
we arent supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but theres a bloody mole winking me in the face.
lmao he watched austin powers in goldmember :D
Well, Austin Powers would probably agree with you!
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/The…
No. This is not good advice. Actually, this is horrible advice. This is what is called 'superstition.'
No
lmao no guys with moles on their faces just have some health i don't wanna say problem... they are just as trustworthy as guys with a mole on their face
Does it sound like good advice?
I know what movie he has been watching.
He probably means don't trust any man except him. His advice is a bit biased.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever read. No offense meant toward your bf.
lol wow no comment hahahacoupons
Im pretty sure he meant it metaphorically. I have a feeling he heard that saying and either didnt understand what it meant or used it in the wrong context because it seems to me he was trying to tell you not to trust any man at all.My bf told me to ';never trust a man with a mole on his face';...is this good advice??!?
It is silly advice, for it has no basis in anything
He is saying this so u won't be atrracted to guys with moles on their face a higly common place for guys to have moles he is saying so becuz he iz insecure so u have less guys to be attracted to lol
we arent supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but theres a bloody mole winking me in the face.
lmao he watched austin powers in goldmember :D
Well, Austin Powers would probably agree with you!
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/The…
No. This is not good advice. Actually, this is horrible advice. This is what is called 'superstition.'
No
lmao no guys with moles on their faces just have some health i don't wanna say problem... they are just as trustworthy as guys with a mole on their face
Does it sound like good advice?
I know what movie he has been watching.
He probably means don't trust any man except him. His advice is a bit biased.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever read. No offense meant toward your bf.
lol wow no comment hahaha
How do u trust? how long does it take? i need advice.?
i need advice. im inlove but really have been burned... how do i cope!? i am soo happy with my bf. we dated along time ago- and then stoped he is a marine (NO BAD TALK ABOUT THEM) HE IS A GOOOOOD MAN! he gave me a ring. and we have been together for almost 4 months... My ???? how do i let myself- trust him completely... i know only time. but anyone have an opionion on here??? ladies?? thoughts?? if u have been hurt then u know its soo ahrd to let someone in...i love him and i dont want to loose him... so help... thank you-
QUEEN JHow do u trust? how long does it take? i need advice.?
Sounds like you just need some more time to learn to trust your bf. Don't rush into marriage until you are ready. Don't be pressured. If he loves you, he will wait until you are ready and he will do things to earn your trust and prove his love. Watch for the signs (both good %26amp; bad) and follow your instincts. And......another note, God Bless your marine! I am so proud of our military men and thankful for their service to our country. I can ';hear'; your love for your bf in your words about him. I hope everything works out for you. Just give it time!!!How do u trust? how long does it take? i need advice.?
the key is to seperate your current feelings from the feelings you have had from past relationships, that way you can take a step back and look at the situation from a different angle, has this guy given you any reason not to trust him
You're gonna groan at this but ... time. I'm feeling the same way, to be honest with you. My fiance is amazing and wonderful but there's always that ';what if ...'; in the back of my mind. I know from my past experiences that my exes usually started turning around 6 months or earlier (it's hard to put up a front for much longer) ... plus, looking back, there were always red flags that I ignored with previous relationships. If you haven't seen any red flags with your fiance yet, chances are you probably won't. Congrats %26amp; best of luck :)
I have always told the men in my life I would trust them, until they gave me a reason not to....
I've never been cheated on...but I have had my heart broken...everyone has...it's what makes you appreciate the good things when you have them...
I love the old saying ';'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to have naver loved at all';...
I'm not saying wear your heart-on-your-sleeve...but if you love him..you MUST trust him..otherwise, it will never work...and you will never relax around him...making him miserable...
So my advice...Trust...until you have a REASON not to...
i learnt only one thing from life.
when you smile, get ready for a sorrow in the future.
always keep in the limit of happiness.
and you cant trust anyone in 2007.i believe it
QUEEN JHow do u trust? how long does it take? i need advice.?
Sounds like you just need some more time to learn to trust your bf. Don't rush into marriage until you are ready. Don't be pressured. If he loves you, he will wait until you are ready and he will do things to earn your trust and prove his love. Watch for the signs (both good %26amp; bad) and follow your instincts. And......another note, God Bless your marine! I am so proud of our military men and thankful for their service to our country. I can ';hear'; your love for your bf in your words about him. I hope everything works out for you. Just give it time!!!How do u trust? how long does it take? i need advice.?
the key is to seperate your current feelings from the feelings you have had from past relationships, that way you can take a step back and look at the situation from a different angle, has this guy given you any reason not to trust him
You're gonna groan at this but ... time. I'm feeling the same way, to be honest with you. My fiance is amazing and wonderful but there's always that ';what if ...'; in the back of my mind. I know from my past experiences that my exes usually started turning around 6 months or earlier (it's hard to put up a front for much longer) ... plus, looking back, there were always red flags that I ignored with previous relationships. If you haven't seen any red flags with your fiance yet, chances are you probably won't. Congrats %26amp; best of luck :)
I have always told the men in my life I would trust them, until they gave me a reason not to....
I've never been cheated on...but I have had my heart broken...everyone has...it's what makes you appreciate the good things when you have them...
I love the old saying ';'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to have naver loved at all';...
I'm not saying wear your heart-on-your-sleeve...but if you love him..you MUST trust him..otherwise, it will never work...and you will never relax around him...making him miserable...
So my advice...Trust...until you have a REASON not to...
i learnt only one thing from life.
when you smile, get ready for a sorrow in the future.
always keep in the limit of happiness.
and you cant trust anyone in 2007.i believe it
My fiance says the fact that I don't take his advice means that I don't trust him. Do you agree?
Long story short, I am having car trouble and asked him for advice. This is an old car which I am planning to sell shortly. I got a cheap mechanic to look at it, he showed me the part that was broken and told me it needs to be replaced. My fiance wants me to take it to the dealer because he doesn't agree with what the mechanic said. Mind you, my fiance has not even looked at the car because he is not in the country. Neither of us is very knowledgeable about cars but he knows slightly more than I do.
I don't want to take it to the dealer because I don't have that much money to spend on it. He got completely p.o.-ed at me because I won't follow his advice and says that that means that I don't believe him and don't trust him. I don't understand how taking someone's advice or not reflects on your level of trust of that person. Many people give me advice and I don't always take all of it. Does it mean that I don't trust them??
He has made this a big issue between us, says that it is a problem in our relationship and all of it, when all I want is to get the car fixed as quickly and cheaply as possible so I can sell it.
Am I wrong for not doing what he says? I just don't understand the reasoning.My fiance says the fact that I don't take his advice means that I don't trust him. Do you agree?
everyone has their opinions and obviously not everyone has to agree. he's being immature and touchy about the subject. a lot of people need multiple opinions/advice just to make sure it's the problem. it doesn't mean you dont trust him; trust is completely irrelevant to the situation. it just means you're unsure about the problem since you and your fiance both are inexperience with fixing carsMy fiance says the fact that I don't take his advice means that I don't trust him. Do you agree?
This isn't about taking advice or trusting. It's about control. He wants it and it trying to get it. People like this only get worse. Not better. I'd take it as a clue to call off the wedding and move on unless you look forward to someone constantly telling you what to do.
He sounds like a controlling douche. You don't trust him for knowing you'll get hosed at the dealers? Geez.
Is this the only time this has happened? I'd be reconsidering marrying him if he is like this all the time.
You both sound very immature, him especially, this is not now adults should be acting.
he sounds like a jerk
1. Never trust a dealership they are grave robbers.
2. Stop telling your bf your problems (especially since he is not even around.
3. Realize if you give a man a problem he naturally thinks he has to solve it.
4. Tell him that you did as he said.
This is not a problem in just your relationship... it is a problem in all male-female relationships. Men love being the boss and being in control. Learn to keep mum and handle problems yourself.
I don't want to take it to the dealer because I don't have that much money to spend on it. He got completely p.o.-ed at me because I won't follow his advice and says that that means that I don't believe him and don't trust him. I don't understand how taking someone's advice or not reflects on your level of trust of that person. Many people give me advice and I don't always take all of it. Does it mean that I don't trust them??
He has made this a big issue between us, says that it is a problem in our relationship and all of it, when all I want is to get the car fixed as quickly and cheaply as possible so I can sell it.
Am I wrong for not doing what he says? I just don't understand the reasoning.My fiance says the fact that I don't take his advice means that I don't trust him. Do you agree?
everyone has their opinions and obviously not everyone has to agree. he's being immature and touchy about the subject. a lot of people need multiple opinions/advice just to make sure it's the problem. it doesn't mean you dont trust him; trust is completely irrelevant to the situation. it just means you're unsure about the problem since you and your fiance both are inexperience with fixing carsMy fiance says the fact that I don't take his advice means that I don't trust him. Do you agree?
This isn't about taking advice or trusting. It's about control. He wants it and it trying to get it. People like this only get worse. Not better. I'd take it as a clue to call off the wedding and move on unless you look forward to someone constantly telling you what to do.
He sounds like a controlling douche. You don't trust him for knowing you'll get hosed at the dealers? Geez.
Is this the only time this has happened? I'd be reconsidering marrying him if he is like this all the time.
You both sound very immature, him especially, this is not now adults should be acting.
he sounds like a jerk
1. Never trust a dealership they are grave robbers.
2. Stop telling your bf your problems (especially since he is not even around.
3. Realize if you give a man a problem he naturally thinks he has to solve it.
4. Tell him that you did as he said.
This is not a problem in just your relationship... it is a problem in all male-female relationships. Men love being the boss and being in control. Learn to keep mum and handle problems yourself.
Advice me the Best and trusted Broker House for indian share market?
There is a one called Sharekhan. It is good. Otherwise open the 3 in 1 account in icici bank their team will give advice and help u out.Advice me the Best and trusted Broker House for indian share market?
Instead of looking for a broker you need to approach a Banker either private viz.HDFc /ICICI/CITY etcor Govt Banks like SBI etc.
Instead of looking for a broker you need to approach a Banker either private viz.HDFc /ICICI/CITY etcor Govt Banks like SBI etc.
I need advice on how to make that person believe and trust me again?
My exgirlfriend broke up with me because some friend of hers came up to her and told her that I was cheating on her and I wasn't. It's been a long time and I have been trying to convince her for almost half a year ,and I love her so much, I need advice and she is still my first love and don't know what to do.I need advice on how to make that person believe and trust me again?
Baby, if you're telling her the truth and she's going to trust her friend over you and it's been that long, see if she believes you when you tell her that you think it's best that you move on because you can't build a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you.I need advice on how to make that person believe and trust me again?
first loves are probably the hardest to get over, but maybe it is time to move on.
It seems to me if the story is as you tell it - that your ex was very quick not to believe you !!
Either she had other reasons - did you lie previously? Most people will forgive and foget some lies if you fess up but then the onus is on you to prove that you have changed and that takes a lot of time and effort.
or it was simply convenient for her in that she wanted out of the relationship dude and this in her mind gave her an excuse she was lookig for ?
if its the latter man move on there is no chance
Baby, if you're telling her the truth and she's going to trust her friend over you and it's been that long, see if she believes you when you tell her that you think it's best that you move on because you can't build a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you.I need advice on how to make that person believe and trust me again?
first loves are probably the hardest to get over, but maybe it is time to move on.
It seems to me if the story is as you tell it - that your ex was very quick not to believe you !!
Either she had other reasons - did you lie previously? Most people will forgive and foget some lies if you fess up but then the onus is on you to prove that you have changed and that takes a lot of time and effort.
or it was simply convenient for her in that she wanted out of the relationship dude and this in her mind gave her an excuse she was lookig for ?
if its the latter man move on there is no chance
I Have 12 Puppies from an AKC Boxer. I dont trust the vet or the breeders i have been with. Need advice. 1 die
The mother had a caesairan. The 12 puppies were all doing great till last night. It has been 9 days now. One of them has passed on. We were told by our Vet and our Friends we need to bottle feed. Well that is not working for all of them. The mother is Doing great now and alot of them feed off of her. The one that died would not urinate or drop any stools. Now another is doing the same. This is all different from what i am used to. I have breed cockerspaniels and was never to touch the puppies and let the mother do the work.Everything! Now i have to make them urinate, bath them, Bottle feed them, and watch them DIE....I am really in a bind here and dont know who to talk to and would like to have everyones advice and take the best from it. I have contacted 4 other vets and 2 agree and the other 2 don't. We are feeding them Goats milk and this was autorized by my vet. I really dont want to lose anymore. Quick answers would be much appriecated!
ThanksI Have 12 Puppies from an AKC Boxer. I dont trust the vet or the breeders i have been with. Need advice. 1 die
You need to find a mentor in your area that can come and help you during the first weeks of the puppies' lives. Whether it be a vet that you trust of a breeder friend that you trust. Someone with a lot of experience needs to be there to help you. Call your boxer's breeder. She should be very happy to help you with the puppies. That's why you pay all that money for the puppy in the first place so that the breeder will answer any question that arises with the health of you dog for its lifetime.I Have 12 Puppies from an AKC Boxer. I dont trust the vet or the breeders i have been with. Need advice. 1 die
In some cases especially with large litters some of the puppies and or kittens urinary and GI tracts are underdeveloped and they lack the physical ability to evacuate themselves this causes a lot of suffering on the part of the animal and the outcome is a long slow painful death. The unfortunate reality of it is a humane euthanasia or let the animal suffer your choice.
This is why people say to spay and neuter. Its not worth the heartache or the work(or the money)
This is sad. There are mothers milk formulas for puppies. You would be better off feeding one of these. You can get pre-mixed or powder. The powder is usually cheaper and all you have to do is add water. I had bottle babies and the little puppy bottles did not work for them. I had to use regular size baby bottles and make the holes in the nipples bigger. You don't say how old they are but if they still need help eliminating, then I would say to make sure they are fed every three to four hours. If the mother can't care for them then you will have to help them eliminate as well as bottle feeding. Also, make sure they are kept warm if momma is not doing that. It really does sound as if you are overwhelmed by this - have you thought about contacting a rescue. They usually have experienced volunteers that can take care of the puppies. If you do not want to relinquish the pups, then they would probably be willing to give you instructions. Sometimes it is better to be shown what to do in these cases.
Sounds like the mother might need help feeding them. Get some milk replacer and see if you can get the puppies to wean some on the replacer. That way the puppies will have her and the milk replacer. My Great Pyrenees's breeder had to do that because there were always so many puppies in each litter, he always helped his two brood bitches feed the puppies.
In large litters like this the mom often can't or won't do everything and there often is not enough milk for everyone either. I agree with your vet. It's also not unusual to lose 1 or 2 pups in a litter. I say spay her so you don't have to worry about this again and leave breeding to the pros.
12 puppies are a very large litter for a Boxer. I had a Great Dane years ago that had 6 female and 6 males. I had to supplement bottle feeding with nursing and they all lived. The mother only has 8 nipples and for large breeds like the Boxer, the mother can't keep up with the demand of so many puppies. You MUST bottle feed 3-4 times a day until the pups are weaned at about 6 weeks, when they start eating real food.
The one pup that died probably had something wrong with it. Something happened during gestation. With so many pups, there's just not enough room for the pups to grow properly. Many times than not, some do die. Especially the weaker ones. You must make sure all these pups are getting enough milk. Goats milk is okay, so is the canned milk formulated for bottle feeding pups in the pet stores. You can also use canned evaporated milk cut 50% with water, this is what I used. Make sure the hole in the bottle is big enough so the pup doesn't have to work really hard to get the milk. You can burn the hole with a hot needle. Don't make the hole too big or the pup can aspirate the milk into the lungs. You can always make it bigger. When the nipple is in the pup's mouth, press lightly on each side of the mouth to maintain suction. When the pup is about 2 weeks old, add a little Baby Rice Cereal to the mixture to help keep the pups full longer. It also puts lots of weight on the puppies.
You have your work cut out for you. Good luck.
try this she had so many pups separate the group and let some feed for a while and then the others. any time you breed you have to step up or they will die. I've never used goats milk i always use baby formula no iron!!! and i have kept lots of pups alive for years.. if you do not stimulate the pups they will not poop also burp the pups very gently see if mom will help with the pups MOST of the time mom is right if there is something wrong with a pup she will not feed it take it to a vet to be checked for a split pallet. or a enlarged heart or a liver shunt.
ThanksI Have 12 Puppies from an AKC Boxer. I dont trust the vet or the breeders i have been with. Need advice. 1 die
You need to find a mentor in your area that can come and help you during the first weeks of the puppies' lives. Whether it be a vet that you trust of a breeder friend that you trust. Someone with a lot of experience needs to be there to help you. Call your boxer's breeder. She should be very happy to help you with the puppies. That's why you pay all that money for the puppy in the first place so that the breeder will answer any question that arises with the health of you dog for its lifetime.I Have 12 Puppies from an AKC Boxer. I dont trust the vet or the breeders i have been with. Need advice. 1 die
In some cases especially with large litters some of the puppies and or kittens urinary and GI tracts are underdeveloped and they lack the physical ability to evacuate themselves this causes a lot of suffering on the part of the animal and the outcome is a long slow painful death. The unfortunate reality of it is a humane euthanasia or let the animal suffer your choice.
This is why people say to spay and neuter. Its not worth the heartache or the work(or the money)
This is sad. There are mothers milk formulas for puppies. You would be better off feeding one of these. You can get pre-mixed or powder. The powder is usually cheaper and all you have to do is add water. I had bottle babies and the little puppy bottles did not work for them. I had to use regular size baby bottles and make the holes in the nipples bigger. You don't say how old they are but if they still need help eliminating, then I would say to make sure they are fed every three to four hours. If the mother can't care for them then you will have to help them eliminate as well as bottle feeding. Also, make sure they are kept warm if momma is not doing that. It really does sound as if you are overwhelmed by this - have you thought about contacting a rescue. They usually have experienced volunteers that can take care of the puppies. If you do not want to relinquish the pups, then they would probably be willing to give you instructions. Sometimes it is better to be shown what to do in these cases.
Sounds like the mother might need help feeding them. Get some milk replacer and see if you can get the puppies to wean some on the replacer. That way the puppies will have her and the milk replacer. My Great Pyrenees's breeder had to do that because there were always so many puppies in each litter, he always helped his two brood bitches feed the puppies.
In large litters like this the mom often can't or won't do everything and there often is not enough milk for everyone either. I agree with your vet. It's also not unusual to lose 1 or 2 pups in a litter. I say spay her so you don't have to worry about this again and leave breeding to the pros.
12 puppies are a very large litter for a Boxer. I had a Great Dane years ago that had 6 female and 6 males. I had to supplement bottle feeding with nursing and they all lived. The mother only has 8 nipples and for large breeds like the Boxer, the mother can't keep up with the demand of so many puppies. You MUST bottle feed 3-4 times a day until the pups are weaned at about 6 weeks, when they start eating real food.
The one pup that died probably had something wrong with it. Something happened during gestation. With so many pups, there's just not enough room for the pups to grow properly. Many times than not, some do die. Especially the weaker ones. You must make sure all these pups are getting enough milk. Goats milk is okay, so is the canned milk formulated for bottle feeding pups in the pet stores. You can also use canned evaporated milk cut 50% with water, this is what I used. Make sure the hole in the bottle is big enough so the pup doesn't have to work really hard to get the milk. You can burn the hole with a hot needle. Don't make the hole too big or the pup can aspirate the milk into the lungs. You can always make it bigger. When the nipple is in the pup's mouth, press lightly on each side of the mouth to maintain suction. When the pup is about 2 weeks old, add a little Baby Rice Cereal to the mixture to help keep the pups full longer. It also puts lots of weight on the puppies.
You have your work cut out for you. Good luck.
try this she had so many pups separate the group and let some feed for a while and then the others. any time you breed you have to step up or they will die. I've never used goats milk i always use baby formula no iron!!! and i have kept lots of pups alive for years.. if you do not stimulate the pups they will not poop also burp the pups very gently see if mom will help with the pups MOST of the time mom is right if there is something wrong with a pup she will not feed it take it to a vet to be checked for a split pallet. or a enlarged heart or a liver shunt.
I have major trust issues wit my man ? plz help..advice!?
what do i do to stop thinking my boyfriend is cheating on me.. by the way: i have all the reason to think like that cuz he has cheated from before.. but he has change alot.. like now he is a good guy and alwayz with me 24\7 but i keep having crazy dreams of him cheating , (which drive me nuts cuz that make me think he his). but i love him and im just scared when hes at work he is flirting but like im a straight up person and i ask him questions when i feel like i need to know something, but i feel like he will get sick of it all and leave me for not trusting him . cuz i know its hard being him but he says he knows why im like that cuz what he did before and he understands but then he says that i need to trust him again cuz our relationship will not be healthy. but i need help to try to keep me postive and strong and not so protective over him.. plz help any advice.. thanksI have major trust issues wit my man ? plz help..advice!?
Ok! I fully understand what you mean and the situation cause it happened to me too. But he is absolutely right in what he is telling you. trust is the only cement with love in a couple, if you remove one of the ingredients, everything is going to collapse, believe me. You have to trust him whatever it's going to cost you otherwise, you would bear the blame in case you break up. He might have been flirting before, when he maybe was not yet sure you would be the right one for him, for ever. But he chosen to settle with you and not with another. If he would betray you that's because you would have given him reason to do so. So question also yourself on your behavior towards him, The best remedy is in the bed or where ever in your place, and be sure to give him what he wants. Then he will not even think of another one.I have major trust issues wit my man ? plz help..advice!?
You do really need to learn to trust him again. You have forgiven him for his mistake and you need to start afresh.
It'll be hard trying to ignore those feelings of jealousy. If you think of how good he treats you instead and how much you love each other hopefully you will be able to forget it. If you cant your only going to make yourself unhappy and drive him away and im sure you don't want to do that
HIYA
You can change yourself but you may not be able to change him
Take a look at the book Self Analysis my LRon Hubard xx good luck
you have every right to feel the way you do but you must learn how to control it cause if don't you could lose him jealousy is a normal feelingfor everyone we just all need to learn how to control it before it controls us
curb him !
Look, i was in the same situation. All you have to do is trust a little and keep your eyes open alot. And stop assuming he's cheating becuase then that gives him a reason to be a little more trickier if he is (pray that he's not), but i mean...open your eyes and make sure you're doing the right thing.And he may threaten to leave, but leave all of that behind and flip the script like the innocent one and become a little more on the nice/cool with anything side then he'll think you're messing around and change up because he can't blame you for anything he knows nothing about!
speaking from experience of being with a guy that cheated on me - I can tell you that your fears of him cheating will never stop. He broke the trust you two had between each other and that is never coming back. It sounds so easy to say just trust me - but in reality its not easily done. You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about who hes with - what hes doing - who hes talking to - my advice is to get out of this relationship. You dont sound happy in it - you may love him - but you have to put your sanity first here
xx
You should leave him. Here's the thing: when a partner cheats, that trust is really hard to bring back. Sometimes it's impossible. So you say ';he's changed'; but has he really? If he has, you wouldn't be feeling like he's cheating. You'd think he was genuine and good and trustworthy, which you don't.
If he's cheating, he doesn't love you, and you wouldn't want to stay with someone who didn't love you back. So believe that he's doing the right thing and not cheating. If you get wind that he is, get out and stay out. But for now, don't question it. Just believe that he's being honest. And it's your RIGHT to ask questions, now that he's ruined your relationship permanently. If he doesn't like it, let him leave; he deserves to be single.coupons
Ok! I fully understand what you mean and the situation cause it happened to me too. But he is absolutely right in what he is telling you. trust is the only cement with love in a couple, if you remove one of the ingredients, everything is going to collapse, believe me. You have to trust him whatever it's going to cost you otherwise, you would bear the blame in case you break up. He might have been flirting before, when he maybe was not yet sure you would be the right one for him, for ever. But he chosen to settle with you and not with another. If he would betray you that's because you would have given him reason to do so. So question also yourself on your behavior towards him, The best remedy is in the bed or where ever in your place, and be sure to give him what he wants. Then he will not even think of another one.I have major trust issues wit my man ? plz help..advice!?
You do really need to learn to trust him again. You have forgiven him for his mistake and you need to start afresh.
It'll be hard trying to ignore those feelings of jealousy. If you think of how good he treats you instead and how much you love each other hopefully you will be able to forget it. If you cant your only going to make yourself unhappy and drive him away and im sure you don't want to do that
HIYA
You can change yourself but you may not be able to change him
Take a look at the book Self Analysis my LRon Hubard xx good luck
you have every right to feel the way you do but you must learn how to control it cause if don't you could lose him jealousy is a normal feelingfor everyone we just all need to learn how to control it before it controls us
curb him !
Look, i was in the same situation. All you have to do is trust a little and keep your eyes open alot. And stop assuming he's cheating becuase then that gives him a reason to be a little more trickier if he is (pray that he's not), but i mean...open your eyes and make sure you're doing the right thing.And he may threaten to leave, but leave all of that behind and flip the script like the innocent one and become a little more on the nice/cool with anything side then he'll think you're messing around and change up because he can't blame you for anything he knows nothing about!
speaking from experience of being with a guy that cheated on me - I can tell you that your fears of him cheating will never stop. He broke the trust you two had between each other and that is never coming back. It sounds so easy to say just trust me - but in reality its not easily done. You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about who hes with - what hes doing - who hes talking to - my advice is to get out of this relationship. You dont sound happy in it - you may love him - but you have to put your sanity first here
xx
You should leave him. Here's the thing: when a partner cheats, that trust is really hard to bring back. Sometimes it's impossible. So you say ';he's changed'; but has he really? If he has, you wouldn't be feeling like he's cheating. You'd think he was genuine and good and trustworthy, which you don't.
If he's cheating, he doesn't love you, and you wouldn't want to stay with someone who didn't love you back. So believe that he's doing the right thing and not cheating. If you get wind that he is, get out and stay out. But for now, don't question it. Just believe that he's being honest. And it's your RIGHT to ask questions, now that he's ruined your relationship permanently. If he doesn't like it, let him leave; he deserves to be single.
I can't trust my boyfriend, read the story and advice pls!?
I have a serious problem and need urgent opinions (pls try not to be too harsh as i am realising there is a fault in me also).
I had a very bad past relationship which made me not trust men too much.now i have a new bf for over a year but still i can't trust him.reasons:december i found out that he was emailing his mates about some random schoolgirl he seen on the way to work and said althought he is no pedofile he would impregnate her at the age of 16.i was devastated, i really did not expect to hear that from him, he seemed so nice and quiet.then i found out he has been e mailing his colleague who works in another branch :oh shame you didn't come to say hello, i even went to look for you but you was gone....ok innocent it may be but that just nailed me.i spoke to him about it obviously, he felt really guilty about that comment earlier and said it was just a joke (a joke? good lord, i don't find it funny!) and that this colleague is nothing, just a female colleague (if you see the pic of her on facebook, she is pretty!) i am not saying im ugly, i always get mens attention, im tall blond blue eyes..but i can't trust my boyfriend at all.now he is on some stupid car forum and he posted his hotmail address for everyone (as they all did) so i am just suffering even more, thinking at all these women e mailing him or whatever.
I am not saying he is the type of the guy who goes out every day or weekends, he spends the evenings with me and weekends evenings also but i am not the youngest i need to settle down and i am worried to make a bad choice again and get hurt again by man who pretends to be someone who is not.
I am so lost i feel like an idiot for not trusting him but how do i find out the truth? i don't know how to talk to him about it anymore, we had a difficult time lately coz i have been depressed and sad constantly.HELP!I can't trust my boyfriend, read the story and advice pls!?
He's a DOLT, Ho and a dumb bell. Drop that zero!I can't trust my boyfriend, read the story and advice pls!?
You're snooping around got you what???? Be with him without your baggage from the earlier relationship. If you go around wondering if this and that person is prettier than you , then you'll always wonder. Why????????
wondering if your BF has ever given you a reason not to trust him? has he ever cheated on you before??
More fish in the sea
You have trust issues...you need to go to conuseling so you can sort out your emotions and get over your problem...and it isn't a bad idea to talk to him either...let him know how you are feeling...it mite help your problem...if you choose to just sit around and do nothin....your jealousy may get worse....
You need help to build your self esteem. If you are going to be jealous of everyone he talks to innocently, because their picture on facebook is pretty your relationship doesn't stand a chance. The fact is all your hovering and questioning is going to push him away and he has done nothing to you for you to be constantly looking over his shoulder. Your past must have been very ugly but you have to leave it in the past if you want to have a happy future.
Wait, he's not allowed to talk to female work colleagues or participate in car websites? What if he told you that you weren't allowed to speak to male cashiers, or to go on Y!A? That's not fair. Just because people have strayed in the past does not mean that your new boyfriend will this time. And yes, men DO make off color jokes about sexy women on the street. My boyfriend does it all the time - and I know he's not coming home to anyone but me. It sounds like YOU have some major insecurities that you have to work on, because it isn't fair to him for you to act this way. You've been dating him a year! Has he given you any reason to worry in that year other then a few raunchy jokes with his boys?
If you want the relationship to work, you need to get a grip. TALK TO HIM.
Hun I know exactly how you feel if he can't be open and honest with you then you need to move on my husband was texting other females that he ';works'; with the text were sometimes suggestive and I read a couple which is what set this off...after fighting about 2 different females I finally told him I was done with the lies and even though I am pregnant with our second child I wont live with him and not be able to trust him! It is not fair...you just need to be clear with him that if he wants to be with you he needs to be faithful in all areas even the simple chat because it puts you in a position to really hurt another person that person being the person you really care about...I love my husband but I wont live with lies and deceit and you should let your BF Know that you will not put up with it... Good luck!! :)
Considering your past relationships, your new bf shouldn't put you in any type situation where you feel like he ';might'; cheat. How did you get access to his e-mail? Does he allow you to have the pass- word? or did you snoop? If you're looking for trouble... you usually find it. It seems, you had reason not to trust him b4 you found these e-mail.
Either way I'd suggest, you move on.... he doesn't sound like the type that's ready to settle down. He knows how you feel and yet he has done nothing but show you just the opposite.
Good Luck!
Before you can learn to really trust him you need to find out whether or not he was telling the truth. If you start trusting him and you get too deep into the relationship and find out it was a lie then your going to be pretty hurt. Getting hurt is a part of life although not everyone deserves it. You need to sit him down and have an honest conversation with him. And you need to tell him that you just want to know the truth and if he really cares about you then he would tell the truth.
I think you have some reason to be untrusting here.
If there was nothing going on - why the defensive ';only a joke';?
The comments about the 16 year old could be filed under ';hormonal macho behavior'; - if you want to be benevolent.
The biggest issue is - if you cannot work out the trust - there is no real basis for a relationship. Trust is the foundation on which everything else is built.
You could consider sitting down with him - make sure there are no distractions (phone off!) and discuss your feelings, and insecurties. Ask him to help you grow over them. The way he responds to that will probably tell you what type of man he is.
The good kind will agree to work together to build trust, and the bad kind will say you are overreacting and nothing is wrong.
There's no sense if trying to maintain a relationship if there's no trust.
But, it sounds to me like he talks shyt with his guys. All guys do that, whether their intentions are true or not, they have their guy talk. Until you have solid proof, I'd just relax.
A relationship has to have trust. Even if the issues are his...then you need to dump him. If the issues are yours, then you have to work on those issues on your own. ie: not be in a relationship and figure out what you want. If you ask me this guys a dink!
I had a very bad past relationship which made me not trust men too much.now i have a new bf for over a year but still i can't trust him.reasons:december i found out that he was emailing his mates about some random schoolgirl he seen on the way to work and said althought he is no pedofile he would impregnate her at the age of 16.i was devastated, i really did not expect to hear that from him, he seemed so nice and quiet.then i found out he has been e mailing his colleague who works in another branch :oh shame you didn't come to say hello, i even went to look for you but you was gone....ok innocent it may be but that just nailed me.i spoke to him about it obviously, he felt really guilty about that comment earlier and said it was just a joke (a joke? good lord, i don't find it funny!) and that this colleague is nothing, just a female colleague (if you see the pic of her on facebook, she is pretty!) i am not saying im ugly, i always get mens attention, im tall blond blue eyes..but i can't trust my boyfriend at all.now he is on some stupid car forum and he posted his hotmail address for everyone (as they all did) so i am just suffering even more, thinking at all these women e mailing him or whatever.
I am not saying he is the type of the guy who goes out every day or weekends, he spends the evenings with me and weekends evenings also but i am not the youngest i need to settle down and i am worried to make a bad choice again and get hurt again by man who pretends to be someone who is not.
I am so lost i feel like an idiot for not trusting him but how do i find out the truth? i don't know how to talk to him about it anymore, we had a difficult time lately coz i have been depressed and sad constantly.HELP!I can't trust my boyfriend, read the story and advice pls!?
He's a DOLT, Ho and a dumb bell. Drop that zero!I can't trust my boyfriend, read the story and advice pls!?
You're snooping around got you what???? Be with him without your baggage from the earlier relationship. If you go around wondering if this and that person is prettier than you , then you'll always wonder. Why????????
wondering if your BF has ever given you a reason not to trust him? has he ever cheated on you before??
More fish in the sea
You have trust issues...you need to go to conuseling so you can sort out your emotions and get over your problem...and it isn't a bad idea to talk to him either...let him know how you are feeling...it mite help your problem...if you choose to just sit around and do nothin....your jealousy may get worse....
You need help to build your self esteem. If you are going to be jealous of everyone he talks to innocently, because their picture on facebook is pretty your relationship doesn't stand a chance. The fact is all your hovering and questioning is going to push him away and he has done nothing to you for you to be constantly looking over his shoulder. Your past must have been very ugly but you have to leave it in the past if you want to have a happy future.
Wait, he's not allowed to talk to female work colleagues or participate in car websites? What if he told you that you weren't allowed to speak to male cashiers, or to go on Y!A? That's not fair. Just because people have strayed in the past does not mean that your new boyfriend will this time. And yes, men DO make off color jokes about sexy women on the street. My boyfriend does it all the time - and I know he's not coming home to anyone but me. It sounds like YOU have some major insecurities that you have to work on, because it isn't fair to him for you to act this way. You've been dating him a year! Has he given you any reason to worry in that year other then a few raunchy jokes with his boys?
If you want the relationship to work, you need to get a grip. TALK TO HIM.
Hun I know exactly how you feel if he can't be open and honest with you then you need to move on my husband was texting other females that he ';works'; with the text were sometimes suggestive and I read a couple which is what set this off...after fighting about 2 different females I finally told him I was done with the lies and even though I am pregnant with our second child I wont live with him and not be able to trust him! It is not fair...you just need to be clear with him that if he wants to be with you he needs to be faithful in all areas even the simple chat because it puts you in a position to really hurt another person that person being the person you really care about...I love my husband but I wont live with lies and deceit and you should let your BF Know that you will not put up with it... Good luck!! :)
Considering your past relationships, your new bf shouldn't put you in any type situation where you feel like he ';might'; cheat. How did you get access to his e-mail? Does he allow you to have the pass- word? or did you snoop? If you're looking for trouble... you usually find it. It seems, you had reason not to trust him b4 you found these e-mail.
Either way I'd suggest, you move on.... he doesn't sound like the type that's ready to settle down. He knows how you feel and yet he has done nothing but show you just the opposite.
Good Luck!
Before you can learn to really trust him you need to find out whether or not he was telling the truth. If you start trusting him and you get too deep into the relationship and find out it was a lie then your going to be pretty hurt. Getting hurt is a part of life although not everyone deserves it. You need to sit him down and have an honest conversation with him. And you need to tell him that you just want to know the truth and if he really cares about you then he would tell the truth.
I think you have some reason to be untrusting here.
If there was nothing going on - why the defensive ';only a joke';?
The comments about the 16 year old could be filed under ';hormonal macho behavior'; - if you want to be benevolent.
The biggest issue is - if you cannot work out the trust - there is no real basis for a relationship. Trust is the foundation on which everything else is built.
You could consider sitting down with him - make sure there are no distractions (phone off!) and discuss your feelings, and insecurties. Ask him to help you grow over them. The way he responds to that will probably tell you what type of man he is.
The good kind will agree to work together to build trust, and the bad kind will say you are overreacting and nothing is wrong.
There's no sense if trying to maintain a relationship if there's no trust.
But, it sounds to me like he talks shyt with his guys. All guys do that, whether their intentions are true or not, they have their guy talk. Until you have solid proof, I'd just relax.
A relationship has to have trust. Even if the issues are his...then you need to dump him. If the issues are yours, then you have to work on those issues on your own. ie: not be in a relationship and figure out what you want. If you ask me this guys a dink!
WHY SHOULD I TRUST HIM?? AFTER TWO YEARS?? I NEED ADVICE! ANYONE?
okay, so i have trust issues.
this guy i dated for two years, i put all my trust into him.
he kept lieing to me, i kept beliveing him
i gave him soo many chances.
we broke up recently and people are telling me stuff he did
and he's saying its all lies and everyones making stuff up.
their stories make since
and his dont.
i told him i want a GOOD REASON why i should trust him..
i want him to show me in some way that he didnt cheat on me, that he didn't say these things, that he didn't complain to other girls that i was such a horrible gf. i want just one reason or just show me in some way.
and he's just like there's no way cuz ur just going to belive them and you just need to trust me.
i dont want to seem stupid, i mean after two years of this should i give him ANOTHER chance??WHY SHOULD I TRUST HIM?? AFTER TWO YEARS?? I NEED ADVICE! ANYONE?
Well my girlfriend is going through the same thing with me, but Ive only messed up once and Im hurtin so damn bad right now from losing her that I would never do anything to feel this way again. He seems like an ungrateful *** that dont deserve you. I truly believe in second chances, but not over and over again. I just wish my girl would give me just one more. If he loved you he wouldnt continue f*@ckin up.WHY SHOULD I TRUST HIM?? AFTER TWO YEARS?? I NEED ADVICE! ANYONE?
NOOO!!! my BEST friend had something similar happen. she kept letting him come back and kept giving him chances. they are now done for good and have been for almost a year and we found out that he cheated on her with 15 different girls!!!!! if more than a few people are saying something, then it is most likely the truth. dont let him charm his way back in. be strong. you deserve better.
I would say no. I went through that same thing for 10 years....Don't waste your life on that. You will find someone you can trust. But just know that even if you do stay with him you will always be accusing him and he will always deny it which will drive you crazy. Please just let it go. It hurts to see someone else go through what I did.
i was kinda getting into this guy who had alot of rep.
It depends on who these people are and why they are telling you these things about him.......and it also depends on what youve caught him lying about....i say give it a chance but warn him to be completely honest or its over.......gooodluck!
no he sounds like a 15 year old boy, any guy that lies isn't worth your time and obvously doesn't respect you, stop dating boys! go find a man you deserve better
have you ever met a guy like this?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Obviously not.
NO.
No, your ex is a loser
dont do it i know guys like that.
my cousin was like that with her girlfreind but even worse he would sheat with other girls and then b with her and when she would find clues he would lie about it and somties even cry and say i luv you y r u doing to me bla bla bla he would also be like look wat uve done to me all this bullshit the she would eventually believe him and get back with him n over over agian.
if i were you just leave him.
he is probably a good liari dont think its all a quincidence do you .
this guy i dated for two years, i put all my trust into him.
he kept lieing to me, i kept beliveing him
i gave him soo many chances.
we broke up recently and people are telling me stuff he did
and he's saying its all lies and everyones making stuff up.
their stories make since
and his dont.
i told him i want a GOOD REASON why i should trust him..
i want him to show me in some way that he didnt cheat on me, that he didn't say these things, that he didn't complain to other girls that i was such a horrible gf. i want just one reason or just show me in some way.
and he's just like there's no way cuz ur just going to belive them and you just need to trust me.
i dont want to seem stupid, i mean after two years of this should i give him ANOTHER chance??WHY SHOULD I TRUST HIM?? AFTER TWO YEARS?? I NEED ADVICE! ANYONE?
Well my girlfriend is going through the same thing with me, but Ive only messed up once and Im hurtin so damn bad right now from losing her that I would never do anything to feel this way again. He seems like an ungrateful *** that dont deserve you. I truly believe in second chances, but not over and over again. I just wish my girl would give me just one more. If he loved you he wouldnt continue f*@ckin up.WHY SHOULD I TRUST HIM?? AFTER TWO YEARS?? I NEED ADVICE! ANYONE?
NOOO!!! my BEST friend had something similar happen. she kept letting him come back and kept giving him chances. they are now done for good and have been for almost a year and we found out that he cheated on her with 15 different girls!!!!! if more than a few people are saying something, then it is most likely the truth. dont let him charm his way back in. be strong. you deserve better.
I would say no. I went through that same thing for 10 years....Don't waste your life on that. You will find someone you can trust. But just know that even if you do stay with him you will always be accusing him and he will always deny it which will drive you crazy. Please just let it go. It hurts to see someone else go through what I did.
i was kinda getting into this guy who had alot of rep.
It depends on who these people are and why they are telling you these things about him.......and it also depends on what youve caught him lying about....i say give it a chance but warn him to be completely honest or its over.......gooodluck!
no he sounds like a 15 year old boy, any guy that lies isn't worth your time and obvously doesn't respect you, stop dating boys! go find a man you deserve better
have you ever met a guy like this?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Obviously not.
NO.
No, your ex is a loser
dont do it i know guys like that.
my cousin was like that with her girlfreind but even worse he would sheat with other girls and then b with her and when she would find clues he would lie about it and somties even cry and say i luv you y r u doing to me bla bla bla he would also be like look wat uve done to me all this bullshit the she would eventually believe him and get back with him n over over agian.
if i were you just leave him.
he is probably a good liari dont think its all a quincidence do you .
Im having jealousy/trust/worriedness issues with my girlfriend. any advice?
My ex of 2 years cheated on me 4 plus times (i didnt know until after we broke up, so im not a total idiot). Welllll now i have a really hard time with my new girlfriend. shes an AMAZING girl and i knowwwww she would never ever cheat on me. buttttttt theres just that nasty thought lingering in the back of my head. i also have a hard time with her going out with her friends and stuff. for example, she went to this music venue thing tonight with some friends to see some house bands and the whole night i was just... eh, on edge and worried all night. andddd i get jealous if she hangs out with a group of ppl and there are other guys in the group. shes a GORGEOUS girl and whats most hard for me is knowing that other dudes are hitting on her and talking their ';game'; to her. not to mention, she has a history of being a flirt. even though i know shes not talking back to them... it killllllls me. especially since im not around.
what is my problem and HOW do i fix this?!
please help me.Im having jealousy/trust/worriedness issues with my girlfriend. any advice?
Ok well i don't really know how to fix this but i can help you and you can try it out. Obviously, your ex messed up your mind you can try talking to your girlfriend now and explaining to her exactly how you feel and why you feel like that. She should be pretty understanding, but if not then she probably isn't the right one for you. But before you do that keep telling yourself that one of the most important things in a relationship is Trust, if you have no trust then you have no relationship. If she cheats or does something not to your likings the upside of it is that now you know she isn't meant for you, which is easier said then done but its the truth. Good Luck, hope everything works out.Im having jealousy/trust/worriedness issues with my girlfriend. any advice?
just trust her. cause i know people who have messed up a relationship by being over protective. and deffinenly dont accuse her of anything unless u know its 100% true.
what is my problem and HOW do i fix this?!
please help me.Im having jealousy/trust/worriedness issues with my girlfriend. any advice?
Ok well i don't really know how to fix this but i can help you and you can try it out. Obviously, your ex messed up your mind you can try talking to your girlfriend now and explaining to her exactly how you feel and why you feel like that. She should be pretty understanding, but if not then she probably isn't the right one for you. But before you do that keep telling yourself that one of the most important things in a relationship is Trust, if you have no trust then you have no relationship. If she cheats or does something not to your likings the upside of it is that now you know she isn't meant for you, which is easier said then done but its the truth. Good Luck, hope everything works out.Im having jealousy/trust/worriedness issues with my girlfriend. any advice?
just trust her. cause i know people who have messed up a relationship by being over protective. and deffinenly dont accuse her of anything unless u know its 100% true.
Will you trust your instincts??I need a sensible advice...?
Assuming that you and someone you consider your significant other haven't been talking in almost a week now and you have no clue whether it is over or not, after having an emotional crisis which entails a lot of external circumstances that is happening especially on the part of the guy (amputation in 2wks time) and his emotional uncertainties, no matter how you try to convince yourself to move on, you can't because you feel it that it might not be over yet, would you trust your instincts?
I tried to wake up and try to find something that would make me feel better and forget about how wonderful our relationship was, but I just couldn't.. I feel so bad having this heavy feelings in my heart... Wondering, blaming myself, being lonely altogether. This is consuming me and all I do is pray.
Should I trust my instinct to keep holding on to him?Will you trust your instincts??I need a sensible advice...?
All I can say is, follow your heart. All the right answers come from there.Will you trust your instincts??I need a sensible advice...?
i need more information but if he had an amputation 2 wks ago you have to realize that he is going through a lot of emotions, not just your stupid relationship, there body image concerns and other concerns i cant even begin to name. he is waiting to see how many people slowly start to abandon him, he has a lot to deal with,he is going to need positive motivation and encouragement.
if your instinct is real strong then yeah you should trust it but at the same time you need to figure out if your just indenial that it's really over then you gottah move on or better yet why don't you have a talk with him and see for youself if it's over or not and what's going on
amputation of his dick?
you should definitely be there for him. you probably can't even imagine what he's going through if he's not going to have a penis anymore. he's not going to feel like a man anymore and he's going to feel worthless. he probably thinks you don't even want him anymore. go to him and tell him you still love him!
see how he's feeling, not just you, silly
I think you should find your own answers on this one ... Their are some questions/problems in life that you need to solve for yourself ... It`s the only way you`ll find peace with yourself ... Let your heart guide you ... I wish you the best :)
1 question.
Do you love him or not?
then you will have your answer
I cannot trust my own mother and I need advice?
I cannot trust my parents worth crap. Every time I did go to my mom about a personal problem weather it be about my period, my love life or my grades, she would call her parents,girlfriends etc and talk about it. I would hear her over the phone. When her friends would come over they would give me advice. Some subjects are very personal and embarrassing. Now I am 6 months from getting married and I tell my mother NOTHING! Now she whines and complains that I won't talk to her.
What do I do?I cannot trust my own mother and I need advice?
Protect yourself. You know she blabs, so continue telling her nothing that you want to keep private. It is a shame because it could be a very special time.
You've done the right thing in telling her that when you share something with her you do not want it to go throughout any group. Let her know that you will test her, and if it comes back to you then she shut the door to your communicating your private life to her. Tell her she will not know when the test is or what the information will be --
-- maybe this will keep her lips sealed. But some people just talk to everyone in their world about what's going on, as opposed to us who talk about everything with a world of strangers -- and it is because we are strangers that you are free to do so.I cannot trust my own mother and I need advice?
When she complains about her not knowing about stuff tell her why. Tell her that your life and what's going on can't be expressed and discussed with her friends or anyone outside of you two in any case. Tell her how you feel when she talks about our personal life with everyone else without your permission. Hopefully this will help your mother see your side of the situation and have her stop. If not, I'd not share with her or tell her things but very vaguely, with no details.
tell her if you talk to her it has to be private, explain that you wont talk to her coz she has proven herself untrustworthy
Your mom means well, I'm sure, but she doesn't understand her boundaries. Tell her you don't talk to her because you feel like she exploits you. Once she understands that your business is not her business to spread, maybe you can give her a little bit at a time, and perhaps rebuild the trust between you.
i suggest that you talk to her about not so private %26amp; important stuff....so she wont feel left out....Keep ur personal life to ur self.....Ur mom reminds me of my mother in law...lol u tell her something n then when u leave she will tell everyone that calls her or she will call them.....lol.......hope this helpds......good lucj...........%26lt;3
Did you ever tell her WHY you don't talk to her? You should give her another chance, and explain to her how you feel about keeping your conversations private.
when she asks why you don't tell her anything, tell her why. that you can't trust her. many mothers think this is okay, and share experiences so to help their children in the future. just be honest with her and maybe she'll apologize. if not, at least she'd know why. good luck.
Be honest..tell her why you don't tell her anything. Chances are she'll get on the phone and call all her buddies. :) Sorry honey, some people can't keep anything private.
What do I do?I cannot trust my own mother and I need advice?
Protect yourself. You know she blabs, so continue telling her nothing that you want to keep private. It is a shame because it could be a very special time.
You've done the right thing in telling her that when you share something with her you do not want it to go throughout any group. Let her know that you will test her, and if it comes back to you then she shut the door to your communicating your private life to her. Tell her she will not know when the test is or what the information will be --
-- maybe this will keep her lips sealed. But some people just talk to everyone in their world about what's going on, as opposed to us who talk about everything with a world of strangers -- and it is because we are strangers that you are free to do so.I cannot trust my own mother and I need advice?
When she complains about her not knowing about stuff tell her why. Tell her that your life and what's going on can't be expressed and discussed with her friends or anyone outside of you two in any case. Tell her how you feel when she talks about our personal life with everyone else without your permission. Hopefully this will help your mother see your side of the situation and have her stop. If not, I'd not share with her or tell her things but very vaguely, with no details.
tell her if you talk to her it has to be private, explain that you wont talk to her coz she has proven herself untrustworthy
Your mom means well, I'm sure, but she doesn't understand her boundaries. Tell her you don't talk to her because you feel like she exploits you. Once she understands that your business is not her business to spread, maybe you can give her a little bit at a time, and perhaps rebuild the trust between you.
i suggest that you talk to her about not so private %26amp; important stuff....so she wont feel left out....Keep ur personal life to ur self.....Ur mom reminds me of my mother in law...lol u tell her something n then when u leave she will tell everyone that calls her or she will call them.....lol.......hope this helpds......good lucj...........%26lt;3
Did you ever tell her WHY you don't talk to her? You should give her another chance, and explain to her how you feel about keeping your conversations private.
when she asks why you don't tell her anything, tell her why. that you can't trust her. many mothers think this is okay, and share experiences so to help their children in the future. just be honest with her and maybe she'll apologize. if not, at least she'd know why. good luck.
Be honest..tell her why you don't tell her anything. Chances are she'll get on the phone and call all her buddies. :) Sorry honey, some people can't keep anything private.
Am i crazy?? or do i just have jealousy issues?? 10 pts for best..trust me ; i need as much advice..?
my boyfriend of now two weeks..( well we talked for a little over a month)
a little before he asked me out there was a girl that he used to have a crush on tht showed up into the picture.
he basically told her a whole bunch of stuff making everything seem different to me. saying how he thought she was cute and tht he didnt know how to end things with me and wht not to start talking to her.
even though he told me tht he would never cheat on me. but this was all before he asked me out, so i said i didnt want to talk to him again.
so basically he explains everything and apologizes.
so then he asks me to be his girlfriend the next day and i say yes.
anywho theyre still talking off and on..even though he told her tht they can only be friends because he doesnt want to cheat on me.
because he has lied about her i dont want them talking so sent him a message on facebook and i deleted it...just to end their conversation.
is tht bad..?
am i taking it overboard??Am i crazy?? or do i just have jealousy issues?? 10 pts for best..trust me ; i need as much advice..?
nah, your a girl.
you really like him
and dont want to take the chance of losing him.
ive been in a relationship for a few months and this girl likes him alot
and he used to like her.
at least he says he used to
but just trust your gut.
do you think hes cheating!!??coupons
a little before he asked me out there was a girl that he used to have a crush on tht showed up into the picture.
he basically told her a whole bunch of stuff making everything seem different to me. saying how he thought she was cute and tht he didnt know how to end things with me and wht not to start talking to her.
even though he told me tht he would never cheat on me. but this was all before he asked me out, so i said i didnt want to talk to him again.
so basically he explains everything and apologizes.
so then he asks me to be his girlfriend the next day and i say yes.
anywho theyre still talking off and on..even though he told her tht they can only be friends because he doesnt want to cheat on me.
because he has lied about her i dont want them talking so sent him a message on facebook and i deleted it...just to end their conversation.
is tht bad..?
am i taking it overboard??Am i crazy?? or do i just have jealousy issues?? 10 pts for best..trust me ; i need as much advice..?
nah, your a girl.
you really like him
and dont want to take the chance of losing him.
ive been in a relationship for a few months and this girl likes him alot
and he used to like her.
at least he says he used to
but just trust your gut.
do you think hes cheating!!??
Help! i need advice on guinea pigs...how long does it take them to fully trust you?
Guinea pigs are nervous creatures at the best of times but persistence in handling them pays dividends. Take them a treat in the form of fresh green when you go out to handle them and they will usually come to you for it, they then learn that if they come when they hear you coming to the hutch they get a reward. Try whistleing like they do as you approach the hutch and they will not be as frightened. Allways do every thing calmley never panic, if you are nervous the animal will be nervous as well. Be confident when you take hold of any pig so that they feel safe and will not wriggle. Try to supprt thier legs when you are carrying them about, they do not feel safe if their legs are dangling in mid air and not on something solid. Do all this regulary and they should calm down in a couple of weeks.I have kept pigs for nearly 50 years and now sell them in my pet store.
Care sheets are available for free on my web site.Help! i need advice on guinea pigs...how long does it take them to fully trust you?
guinea pigs are very sensative creatures. Its taken quite a bit for mine to finally trust me. Just give it lost of attention and dont' get discouraged when they shy away from you. Keep plugging away and be friendly but not too aggresive. They will warm up to you in their own time.Help! i need advice on guinea pigs...how long does it take them to fully trust you?
It can be different for different guinea pigs, just like we trust some people faster than others. Go slow and steady and you shouldn't have any problems. I'd say give it at least a month or so, and that's if you spend time handling it every day. make sure you're in a quiet place where they can't escape, too. They can move pretty quick when scared!
Good Luck
both my brothers have had guinea pigs all their lives. My older brother has two now. they both are not that old. Benny trusted people right of the bat,were Teddy doesn't like to be touched. It took them 6mo.to get Teddy to come to them and not flip out. Yet some times, if the animal has a patient owner and they keep doing the same thing - feed, talk, pet. the Guinea pig will soon get use to the owner. Most animals don't like to be held. They all have a fear of falling, so if it freaks out, just hold it close and let it know that you will not let it fall. Good Luck !!
Care sheets are available for free on my web site.Help! i need advice on guinea pigs...how long does it take them to fully trust you?
guinea pigs are very sensative creatures. Its taken quite a bit for mine to finally trust me. Just give it lost of attention and dont' get discouraged when they shy away from you. Keep plugging away and be friendly but not too aggresive. They will warm up to you in their own time.Help! i need advice on guinea pigs...how long does it take them to fully trust you?
It can be different for different guinea pigs, just like we trust some people faster than others. Go slow and steady and you shouldn't have any problems. I'd say give it at least a month or so, and that's if you spend time handling it every day. make sure you're in a quiet place where they can't escape, too. They can move pretty quick when scared!
Good Luck
both my brothers have had guinea pigs all their lives. My older brother has two now. they both are not that old. Benny trusted people right of the bat,were Teddy doesn't like to be touched. It took them 6mo.to get Teddy to come to them and not flip out. Yet some times, if the animal has a patient owner and they keep doing the same thing - feed, talk, pet. the Guinea pig will soon get use to the owner. Most animals don't like to be held. They all have a fear of falling, so if it freaks out, just hold it close and let it know that you will not let it fall. Good Luck !!
I really do need advice about my husband, I really have lost trust in him. He wants to have a baby because he
does not have any children. I went to the Dr. last week and she prescribed me some pills to help me become pregnant. The reason I lost trust is because I found out he was cheating in Jan. 2007, when I heard the females #, I called her %26amp; met with her, she is 46 and she claims that she did not know he was married.She claims she did not know but now she knows. I dont have proof but I feel she is still around. I have not said anything, but a week ago I found out about another female. She sent him a text through his cell phone and I saw it. My husband dont know that I know a lot of things that I do know, but I love him and I am trying very hard to fix it. Iam going to college right now, I have 2 years left. I am hurting very bad, please give me some positive advice. By the way I am 34 and he is 41. Please help me. I do know that some things cannot be fixed, but I tried. We are all human and sometimes we all make stupid mistakes. Thank YouI really do need advice about my husband, I really have lost trust in him. He wants to have a baby because he
Yes he is human and if it was one mistake I would say that you should try and make it work. But now he has another? I wouldn't consider bringing a child into an already rocky marriage, it will only make things worse for you. Children require love and constant attention and you can't give that while you're trying to make a marriage work. I recommend you talk to him and find out what his problem is. He may not want to be in the marriage anymore but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But believe me hun, you don't want to be in a marriage with someone who doesn't want you. You will end up being hurt over and over again. If you leave you will hurt, but it will get better. Good luck!I really do need advice about my husband, I really have lost trust in him. He wants to have a baby because he
yikes! you are taking powerful drugs that have sometimes terrible long term effects.....how do you know you are infertile? the way you wrote that makes it sound like you are some cow tied up in the back yard and your husband wants you to have a calf. crrrreeeeepy. and it also !! sounds like even tho you are married he is still happily and merrily dating while you are confused and sinking into a passive, '; i have given up and he is ok i guess'; way of thinkng. wake up. i really dont care what you do because i have been on this board long enuf to form an opinion that no one really takes any advice on this board that is given, good, sarcastic or otherwise, but if it was me, at the very minimum i would NOT did you hear that? NOT take any drugs that would propel me into a permanent state of motherhood with a guy who is still acting like he is single. haha, but that's just me...
First of all, stop taking the pills to help you become pregnant. A baby at this time would only complicate the situation and you should resolve this serious issue first.
The sad truth of your situation is that you have identified your husband as a cheater. Cheaters almost NEVER change their ways and so your path could be very difficult. It's worth testing his interest in saving your marriage / your interest in tolerating a cheating spouse (which I don't recommend but which some spouses will tolerate.)
If he is interested in working on things, get a good counsellor as you will have some hard work ahead of you.
You are a rare breed. I think you should confront your dear hubby, tell him you know about everything and tell him that you want him to stop, and you will fullfill these needs for him, if you think you can. Otherwise, drop him like a bad habit.
do NOT have a baby with someone you cannot trust
This has gone way beyond cheating. Why would a mature adult woman try to get pregnant with a man who has cheated on her at least ONCE if not more than that? Do you think a baby is going to ';fix'; things? Let me tell you that it is going to make it worse and you are going to be a single mom. It is a mistake to get pregnant to save a marriage - it never works.
number one most important thing...DON'T HAVE A BABY WITH HIM! you can't have a baby with someone until you trust him. then what are you going to do when he won't stop his cheating...you're stuck with his offspring and have to hit up the attorney general's office for child support
I would tell him straight up you need to finish school before you will even think about children, that gives you two years if in two years he has not straighten out, leave him you will have a college degree and no kids
Your husband is missing something in the marriage that makes him vulnerable or seek other women. You need to find out what that is.
Are you ignoring him alot because of your schooling? Are you not building up his ego (which the other women may be doing)? Have you lost interest in your appearance?
Having a baby because he doesn't have children is NOT a good enough reason to have a child.
You don't say how long you have been married and if this is a sudden thing he is doing.
But it's sounds like you need to put some 'spice' back into the marriage. It he really loves you, he doesn't need another woman. So 'be all the woman you can be'.
Also if you feel comfortable, sit down and talk to him. Tell him you know about the other women, and what is it that is making him stray. And ask what you can do to keep him happy at home. And personally I would tell him that a baby is not an option as long as he is cheating on you.
I think you have a problem! why would anybody want to stay and on top of that have baby with someone that has cheate on you not only once but twice in this year alone!!!
Love is important in a relationship but it' not everything... with love comes respect, and obviously he doesn't respect you and your marriage... plus if he really loved you he wouldn't cheat... so what good is a one way marriage?
get a divorce and move on...
Sorry dear, but it's looking like you can't trust him. A single fling, maybe but a couple? I would lose him, looks too much like a pattern shaping up
Well I can only tell you that if you don't mind sharing this bum, stay with him. He doesn't seem to mind you knowing about his philandering, so, what to do, really. When he goes to work, pack his bags and put them on the curb. Call the cops and tell them what you did and why, then ask them to be there when he gets home so, there's no trouble.
After that, get a good attorney and get rid of the bum, It seems he has a place to stay already so don't worry and, whatever you do, don't get pregnant, maybe he's trying to tie you down this way.
wow sounds like you have your hands full. now is probably not a good time to have more children. you need to have a frank discussion with him. he will probably have a cow when you tell him what you know, but focus on finding out what he wants. If it is something you can live with then work on building trust and focus on working on the relationship. if you forgive him, you must forget what he did and not bring it up. if his plan is not what you have in mind then look at it as a fresh start. an opportunity to finish school and work toward becoming what you want to be. Love will come. just when you least expect it.
Do not get pregnant if you can't trust him.
things can only be fixed if we want to fix them.
he got caught once, and he didn't change his behavior, so the chances of him changing if you let him know he's caught again are... well, almost none.
a baby will NOT (not, not, not!) fix anything. first of all, kids do best with the devoted love and attention of both parents, and half of his (at best) would be available. and kids will make the almost inevitable divorce painful, long, and messy. and you'll be resentful, knowing that you gave him ';one more chance'; and he didn't do the right thing. and divorce is not good for kids.
just as an off the wall tangent, you seem almost semi-accepting of his cheating. you should probably see a counselor or pastor or have a long discussion with a good friend and discuss whether this is something you can live with. everybody's standard of happiness is different, and for some people, a partner's dalliances don't bother them as much as the unknown world of being single. it wouldn't be my choice, but i can't make that decision for you, also.
in a relationship, i might try to work through one incident of infidelity (it depends on the situation). but i personally would never put up with two, then three...
good luck, and be careful!
Tell him he has lost his damn mind if he thinks you are going to have a cheater for the father of your baby. Tell him that is an insult to you and boot his cheating *** out that door.
Without trust, your marriage is a bust...
confront him confront him confront him, say u know what hes doing. Men are sometimes confusing but this isnt. he has a wife and he wants a child he should want the best for you and his future children. talking to him about may resolve it but u will prob want to seek counseling.
Let's see now, you have no trust in this man and yet you went and got fertility pills in order to have a child with him? I guess the common sense gene didn't make it all the way to you in your family huh?
You need to find a man to cheat with, and that will make it all better.
Having children under these circumstances is so not a good idea. It doesn't matter that he wants children if he can't stay faithful to keep a marriage and family together. He is being incredibly selfish. Let go of him and let one of his other affairs deal with his issue. Children aren't pets or a rite of passage.
A baby will NOT fix your marriage. It's true, once a cheater always a cheater. Get out now!
Before you begin a course of fertility drugs, I suggest that you really are sure about this man and this relationship. This is not a decision that anyone can make for you, but this is a decision that you will be making not only for yourself but for a defenseless child. I think that before you bring a child into this relationship, you need to ascertain whether or not the relationship is stable enough to sustain one. A serial cheater is not serious about the relationship, and is that the kind of man you want in your life forever? A child would bind you to this man for the rest of your life.
There are some pieces that seem a bit strange in this. The desire to have a child because he ';does not have any children'; seems like odd reasoning to me. Additionally, if you have two years of college left, and you're only 34 years old, why do you need to have a baby now? Why not wait until you've completed school? If the relationship is solid, there should be no urgency in having a child now, and if the relationship is not solid, then waiting the two years to complete school would show you this -- and you'd be in a better place with your degree.
Good luck in making this decision. Decisions of the heart are never easy ones to make.
Having a baby should be because you both want to. And having the baby is not going to fix any problems in your marriage. You do need to talk to him about his cheating on you. You can't keep it inside like that. It would just destroy your relationship. Talk to him about it. Be strong. Don't throw a pity party for yourself.
Yes he is human and if it was one mistake I would say that you should try and make it work. But now he has another? I wouldn't consider bringing a child into an already rocky marriage, it will only make things worse for you. Children require love and constant attention and you can't give that while you're trying to make a marriage work. I recommend you talk to him and find out what his problem is. He may not want to be in the marriage anymore but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But believe me hun, you don't want to be in a marriage with someone who doesn't want you. You will end up being hurt over and over again. If you leave you will hurt, but it will get better. Good luck!I really do need advice about my husband, I really have lost trust in him. He wants to have a baby because he
yikes! you are taking powerful drugs that have sometimes terrible long term effects.....how do you know you are infertile? the way you wrote that makes it sound like you are some cow tied up in the back yard and your husband wants you to have a calf. crrrreeeeepy. and it also !! sounds like even tho you are married he is still happily and merrily dating while you are confused and sinking into a passive, '; i have given up and he is ok i guess'; way of thinkng. wake up. i really dont care what you do because i have been on this board long enuf to form an opinion that no one really takes any advice on this board that is given, good, sarcastic or otherwise, but if it was me, at the very minimum i would NOT did you hear that? NOT take any drugs that would propel me into a permanent state of motherhood with a guy who is still acting like he is single. haha, but that's just me...
First of all, stop taking the pills to help you become pregnant. A baby at this time would only complicate the situation and you should resolve this serious issue first.
The sad truth of your situation is that you have identified your husband as a cheater. Cheaters almost NEVER change their ways and so your path could be very difficult. It's worth testing his interest in saving your marriage / your interest in tolerating a cheating spouse (which I don't recommend but which some spouses will tolerate.)
If he is interested in working on things, get a good counsellor as you will have some hard work ahead of you.
You are a rare breed. I think you should confront your dear hubby, tell him you know about everything and tell him that you want him to stop, and you will fullfill these needs for him, if you think you can. Otherwise, drop him like a bad habit.
do NOT have a baby with someone you cannot trust
This has gone way beyond cheating. Why would a mature adult woman try to get pregnant with a man who has cheated on her at least ONCE if not more than that? Do you think a baby is going to ';fix'; things? Let me tell you that it is going to make it worse and you are going to be a single mom. It is a mistake to get pregnant to save a marriage - it never works.
number one most important thing...DON'T HAVE A BABY WITH HIM! you can't have a baby with someone until you trust him. then what are you going to do when he won't stop his cheating...you're stuck with his offspring and have to hit up the attorney general's office for child support
I would tell him straight up you need to finish school before you will even think about children, that gives you two years if in two years he has not straighten out, leave him you will have a college degree and no kids
Your husband is missing something in the marriage that makes him vulnerable or seek other women. You need to find out what that is.
Are you ignoring him alot because of your schooling? Are you not building up his ego (which the other women may be doing)? Have you lost interest in your appearance?
Having a baby because he doesn't have children is NOT a good enough reason to have a child.
You don't say how long you have been married and if this is a sudden thing he is doing.
But it's sounds like you need to put some 'spice' back into the marriage. It he really loves you, he doesn't need another woman. So 'be all the woman you can be'.
Also if you feel comfortable, sit down and talk to him. Tell him you know about the other women, and what is it that is making him stray. And ask what you can do to keep him happy at home. And personally I would tell him that a baby is not an option as long as he is cheating on you.
I think you have a problem! why would anybody want to stay and on top of that have baby with someone that has cheate on you not only once but twice in this year alone!!!
Love is important in a relationship but it' not everything... with love comes respect, and obviously he doesn't respect you and your marriage... plus if he really loved you he wouldn't cheat... so what good is a one way marriage?
get a divorce and move on...
Sorry dear, but it's looking like you can't trust him. A single fling, maybe but a couple? I would lose him, looks too much like a pattern shaping up
Well I can only tell you that if you don't mind sharing this bum, stay with him. He doesn't seem to mind you knowing about his philandering, so, what to do, really. When he goes to work, pack his bags and put them on the curb. Call the cops and tell them what you did and why, then ask them to be there when he gets home so, there's no trouble.
After that, get a good attorney and get rid of the bum, It seems he has a place to stay already so don't worry and, whatever you do, don't get pregnant, maybe he's trying to tie you down this way.
wow sounds like you have your hands full. now is probably not a good time to have more children. you need to have a frank discussion with him. he will probably have a cow when you tell him what you know, but focus on finding out what he wants. If it is something you can live with then work on building trust and focus on working on the relationship. if you forgive him, you must forget what he did and not bring it up. if his plan is not what you have in mind then look at it as a fresh start. an opportunity to finish school and work toward becoming what you want to be. Love will come. just when you least expect it.
Do not get pregnant if you can't trust him.
things can only be fixed if we want to fix them.
he got caught once, and he didn't change his behavior, so the chances of him changing if you let him know he's caught again are... well, almost none.
a baby will NOT (not, not, not!) fix anything. first of all, kids do best with the devoted love and attention of both parents, and half of his (at best) would be available. and kids will make the almost inevitable divorce painful, long, and messy. and you'll be resentful, knowing that you gave him ';one more chance'; and he didn't do the right thing. and divorce is not good for kids.
just as an off the wall tangent, you seem almost semi-accepting of his cheating. you should probably see a counselor or pastor or have a long discussion with a good friend and discuss whether this is something you can live with. everybody's standard of happiness is different, and for some people, a partner's dalliances don't bother them as much as the unknown world of being single. it wouldn't be my choice, but i can't make that decision for you, also.
in a relationship, i might try to work through one incident of infidelity (it depends on the situation). but i personally would never put up with two, then three...
good luck, and be careful!
Tell him he has lost his damn mind if he thinks you are going to have a cheater for the father of your baby. Tell him that is an insult to you and boot his cheating *** out that door.
Without trust, your marriage is a bust...
confront him confront him confront him, say u know what hes doing. Men are sometimes confusing but this isnt. he has a wife and he wants a child he should want the best for you and his future children. talking to him about may resolve it but u will prob want to seek counseling.
Let's see now, you have no trust in this man and yet you went and got fertility pills in order to have a child with him? I guess the common sense gene didn't make it all the way to you in your family huh?
You need to find a man to cheat with, and that will make it all better.
Having children under these circumstances is so not a good idea. It doesn't matter that he wants children if he can't stay faithful to keep a marriage and family together. He is being incredibly selfish. Let go of him and let one of his other affairs deal with his issue. Children aren't pets or a rite of passage.
A baby will NOT fix your marriage. It's true, once a cheater always a cheater. Get out now!
Before you begin a course of fertility drugs, I suggest that you really are sure about this man and this relationship. This is not a decision that anyone can make for you, but this is a decision that you will be making not only for yourself but for a defenseless child. I think that before you bring a child into this relationship, you need to ascertain whether or not the relationship is stable enough to sustain one. A serial cheater is not serious about the relationship, and is that the kind of man you want in your life forever? A child would bind you to this man for the rest of your life.
There are some pieces that seem a bit strange in this. The desire to have a child because he ';does not have any children'; seems like odd reasoning to me. Additionally, if you have two years of college left, and you're only 34 years old, why do you need to have a baby now? Why not wait until you've completed school? If the relationship is solid, there should be no urgency in having a child now, and if the relationship is not solid, then waiting the two years to complete school would show you this -- and you'd be in a better place with your degree.
Good luck in making this decision. Decisions of the heart are never easy ones to make.
Having a baby should be because you both want to. And having the baby is not going to fix any problems in your marriage. You do need to talk to him about his cheating on you. You can't keep it inside like that. It would just destroy your relationship. Talk to him about it. Be strong. Don't throw a pity party for yourself.
Advice book about wills, trusts, for single persons?
I need some advice about writing a will and establishing a living trust for a single person with no minor children, but every book I find has a lot of advice about things I don't need, like writing joint documents with a spouse (which I don't have) or providing for minor children (which I don't have). It's hard wading through all that other stuff, that pertains to people with more complicated lives, to get the basics I need.Advice book about wills, trusts, for single persons?
AARP has a good reference book on estate planning. It may well be that you don't need a trust - the purpose of which is to place assets in to avoid probate.
AARP has a good reference book on estate planning. It may well be that you don't need a trust - the purpose of which is to place assets in to avoid probate.
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