Friday, April 30, 2010

My boyfriend has pretty bad trust issues and it hurts me...advice?

Breaking up is not an option and he knows that. I'm not going to threaten him with it either. He always thinks that there is more to a story about school than I tell him and it involves other guys. That is NEVER true. I know what happened in his past that causes his trust issues and I understand and try to help because I love him but it really hurts me. It hurts that he can't fully trust me and that he always thinks I'm lying to him. I don't know what to say to him anymore because I've said it all before. I've told him it hurts me, I've told him I love him and he's the only one and I will never leave him, I've told him everything that should make him feel secure and have never done anything to prove me a liar. I don't know how to deal with this anymore because it just hurts so bad. Please help me out with some advice.My boyfriend has pretty bad trust issues and it hurts me...advice?
That man is going to wear you out emotionally! You need to ask him if he is the one that can be trusted. Usually when a person is that crazy over his/her partner being trusted, it means that they are guilty of something themselves.My boyfriend has pretty bad trust issues and it hurts me...advice?
The lack of trust he is showing is really a control issue. Stop being manipulated by this jerk and drop him. Really, dump him now. He's not going to change, he's trying to guilt you into changing to please him. Where is this going to end up? You'll stop going places without him so you don't have to have the confrontational thing later. Trust me, I've been there (13 stupid stupid years I can never have back) and it's going to get worse, not better. get out now!!
Well if you are adamant that you will never leave him then all you can do is keep reassuring him and keep 'proving' to him that he has nothing to distrust you about.

That said, massive distrust invariably turns into controlling and abusive behaviour. His distrust is passive aggressive already. If it were me - I'd run for the hills. You deserve better.
If he doesn't trust you he must not love you a whole lot. On a brighter note, he may need to see a therapist or guidance councilor for professional help with his, what would seem to be, annoying problem.
just hang in there, things will get better and he will learn to trust you. in the mean time, don't give him any reason not to trust you.
do his friends
A relationship will never last without trust. As you say he knows your not going to break up with him and he also knows that you are reassuring him all the time when he questions you. All the while your letting him do that to you he's not going to change. Tell him if he can't trust you then there is no point him being with you, because it's obviously making both of you unhappy. He will buck his ideas up or he'll not care. Either way you'll find out exactly what you mean to him.
Honey i know just how you feel iam going through the same thing as we speak :(. My boyfriend was married and his wife was cheating on him for 5 years, his first serious relationship after his divorce she cheated on him too and not only does he not trust me he tells me very often if that if we break up life goes on almost like he doesn't care. We have been together six months, and in these six months i have lost almost 3 months sleep. So i have come to a decision he is going away for the weekend when he returns i won't be around like he tells me life goes on it sure does don't let any man pull you down life too short, there are alot of fish in the sea. Keep your mind on school far as i'am concerned if they can't trust you they sure don't love you. I hope this helped :)
If he is this way as your b/f then sorry honey there is no way it is going to change. Instead it will get worse. Next step he will accuse you of cheating on him or demand you leave school. He has trust issues that will never go away. Actually I just saw a couple in divorce court where the man acted the same way that you describe. If you don't want to leave then you are stupid because a man who will hurt you with his securities isn't worth it. finish school and find a man who is secure in himself. Do yourself a favor and don't get knocked up.
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    1. Usually when a man also has trust issues, it could be that his mother cheated on his father and that she was never there for the family. Those are one of the worst reasons a man would have trust issues.