The feeling of depression is much more powerful and unpleasant than the short episodes of unhappiness that we all experience from time to time. It goes on for much longer. It can last for months rather than days or weeks. Most people with depression will not have all the symptoms listed here, but most will have at least five or six. You:
* feel unhappy most of the time (but may feel a little better in the evenings)
* lose interest in life and can't enjoy anything
* find it harder to make decisions
* can't cope with things that you used to
* feel utterly tired
* feel restless and agitated
* lose appetite and weight (some people find they do the reverse and put on weight)
* take 1-2 hours to get off to sleep, and then wake up earlier than usual
* lose interest in sex
* lose your self-confidence
* feel useless, inadequate and hopeless
* avoid other people
* feel irritable
* feel worse at a particular time each day, usually in the morning
* think of suicide.
We may not realise how depressed we are, because it has come on so gradually. We may be determined to struggle on and can blame ourselves for being lazy or feeble. Other people may need to persuade us that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help.
We may try to cope with our feelings of depression by being very busy. This can make us even more stressed and exhausted. We will often notice physical pains, constant headaches or sleeplessness.
Sometimes these physical symptoms can be the first sign of a depression.
As in the everyday depression that we all experience from time to time, there will sometimes be an obvious reason for becoming depressed, sometimes not. There is usually more than one reason, and these are different for different people.
The reason may seem obvious. It can be a disappointment, frustration, losing something or someone important. Sometimes it isn't clear why we feel depressed. We're just 'in a mood', 'have got the hump', 'feel blue,' 'got out of bed the wrong side'. We really don't know why. Either way, these feelings can become so bad that we need help.
Things that happen in our lives
It is normal to feel depressed after a distressing event, such as bereavement, a divorce or losing a job. We may spend time over the next few weeks or months thinking and talking about it. After a while we seem to come to terms with what's happened. But some of us get stuck in a depressed mood, which doesn't seem to lift.
Circumstances
If we are alone, have no friends around, are stressed, have other worries or are physically run down, we are more likely to become depressed.
Physical illness
Depression often strikes when we are physically ill. This is true for life-threatening illnesses such as cancer and heart disease, but also for illnesses that are long and uncomfortable or painful, like arthritis or bronchitis. Younger people may become depressed after viral infections, like 鈥榝lu' or glandular fever.
Personality
Anyone can become depressed, but some of us seem to be more likely to than others. This may be because of the particular make-up of our body, because of experiences early in our life, or both.
Alcohol
Many people who drink too much alcohol become depressed. It often isn't clear as to which came first 鈥?the drinking or the depression. We know that people who drink too much are more likely to kill themselves than other people.
Gender
Women seem to get depressed more than men do. This is possibly because men are less likely to admit their feelings, bottle them up or express them in aggression or through drinking heavily. Women may be more likely to have the double stress of having to work and, at the same time, look after children.
Genes
Depression can run in families. If you have one parent who has become severely depressed, then you are about eight times more likely to become depressed yourself.
What about manic depression?
About 1 in 10 people who suffer from serious depression will also have periods when they are elated and overactive. This used to be called Manic Depression, but is now often called Bipolar Affective Disorder. It affects the same number of men and women and tends to run in families. See our leaflet on Bipolar Disorder.
Isn't depression just a form of weakness?
It can seem to other people that a person with depression has just 'given in', as if they have a choice in the matter. The fact is, there comes a point at which depression is much more like an illness than anything else. It can happen to the most determined of people, and calls for help, not criticism. It is not a sign of weakness 鈥?even powerful personalities can experience deep depression. Winston Churchill called it his 鈥榖lack dog'.
When should I seek help?
* When your feelings of depression are worse than usual, and don't seem to get any better.
* When your feelings of depression affect your work, interests and feelings towards your family and friends.
* If you find yourself feeling that life is not worth living, or that other people would be better off without you.
It may be enough to talk things over with a relative or friend, who may be able to help you through a bad patch in your life. If this doesn't seem to help, you probably need to talk it over with your family doctor. You may find that your friends and family notice a difference in you and are worried about you.
Helping yourself
1. Don't keep it to yourself
If you've had some bad news, or a major upset, try to tell someone close to you, and tell them how you feel. It often helps to go over the painful experience several times, to cry about it, and to talk things over with someone. This is part of the mind's natural way of healing.
2. Do something
Get out of doors for some exercise, even if only for a walk. This will help you to keep physically fit, and you may sleep better. You may not feel able to work, but it is always good to try to keep active. This could be housework, do-it-yourself (even as little as changing a light bulb) or any part of your normal routine. It can help take your mind off painful thoughts which make you more depressed.
3. Eat well
Try to eat a good, balanced diet, even though you may not feel like eating. Fresh fruit and vegetables are particularly good. Depression can make you lose weight and run short of vitamins, which only makes matters worse.
4. Beware alcohol!
Resist the temptation to drown your sorrows with a drink. Alcohol actually makes depression worse. It may make you feel better for a few hours, but will then make you feel worse again. Too much alcohol stops you from seeking the right help and from solving problems; it is also bad for your physical health.
5. Sleep
Try not to worry about finding it difficult to sleep. It can be helpful to listen to the radio or watch TV while you're lying down and resting your body, even if you can't sleep. If you can occupy your mind in this way, you may feel less anxious and find it easier to get off to sleep.
6. Tackle the cause
If you think you know what is behind your depression, it can help to write down the problem and then think of the things you could do to tackle it. Pick the best things to do and try them.
7. Keep hopeful
Remind yourself that:
* you are suffering from an experience which many other people have gone through.
* you will eventually come out of it, although you may find it hard to believe at the time.
* depression can be a useful experience 鈥?you may come out of it stronger and better able to cope. It can help you to see situations and relationships more clearly.
* you may be able to make important decisions and changes in your life, which you were avoiding before.
What kind of help is available?
Most people with depression are treated by their family doctor. Depending on your symptoms, the severity of the depression and the circumstances, the doctor may suggest some form of talking treatment, antidepressant tablets, or both.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
This helps people overcome the negative thoughts that can sometimes be the cause of depression. Interpersonal and dynamic therapies can be helpful if you find it difficult to get on with other people. See our leaflet on CBT for more information.
Psychotherapy/ counselling
Simply talking about your feelings can be helpful, however depressed you are. Your GP may have a counsellor at the surgery who you can talk to.
If your depression seems connected with your relationship with your partner, then Relate (an organisation that specialises in this area) may be most helpful in enabling you to sort out your feelings.
If you have become depressed while suffering from a disability or caring for a relative, then sharing experiences with others in a self-help group may give you the support you need.
If you are not able to get over the death of someone close to you, it is particularly helpful to talk about it with someone.
Sometimes it is hard to express your real feelings even to close friends. Talking things through with a trained counsellor or therapist can be easier. It can be a relief to get things off your chest. If you can have another person's undivided attention for a while, you are likely to feel better about yourself. There are many different sorts of psychotherapy available, some of which are very effective for people with mild to moderate depression.
Talking treatments do take time to work. Sessions usually last about an hour and you might need anywhere from 5 to 30 sessions. Some therapists will see you weekly, others every 2 to 3 weeks.
good luckI don't trust my self?????????also need advice on my decision i've made?
you don't sound like a school person but you want to get as much out of it as possible. My friend was the same way he ended up graduating high school and working at a car dealership, he makes decent money and plans on taking over the business when his boss retires in the next couple years. Perhaps you need to focus more on ';hands on'; jobs rather than college.
sounds like you have a big anxiety problem and maybe you are also a little bipolar...i would go to the doctor as soon as possible, I'm sure they could help you...good luck
Depression, anxiety, stress.
Go and see your docor - don't let this ruin your life!
You're so young and you have so much to look forward to!
Get some help soon so you can start getting back on track.
Take care of yourself and good luck.
Go and talk to your GP,he/she will be able to help you more than you think,and I don't just mean dishing out pills,there are counsellors you can be referred to that will help you deal with all this stuff.
You clearly need help,and there is that help out there,you just need to ask for it.
You will be happy again one day,it might not seem like it right now,but you will,it'll just take time.
You only get one life,so try and help yourself by asking for help,everyone deserves to be happy and content.
Good Luck.
It sounds like you suffer from depression. It's a really common factor to feel down a lot and feel like a constant failure when you suffer from depression. You should talk to your parents about it, let them in on your life and together you can go see your doctor about getting some help.
Good luck
Remember now is not always. Do not be too hard on yourself. Try to get things into perspective. If you do not revise you are planning to fail. Seek help with that.....but be prepared to do your bit.
Youll get through it and youre not the only one too. You can get help here http://www.uckg.org/vyg/
What you need to understand is that you can never truly fail unless you give up. In order to get anywhere in life, you need to get out of your comfort zone. Before, it was about always doing the best. Now, because you've realized that you're imperfect, you expect the worst every time. This is simply a protecting mechanism for yourself, protecting you from the possibility of failure. All the while, however, you're failing constantly. It's a cycle many people fall into. You fear failure, so you doom yourself to perpetual failure, in order to prevent potential failure. It makes no sense said put that way, but that's exactly what you're doing. I'd like to talk with you more about this. I'd love to help you. Send over a message or contact me through Yahoo Messenger.
Heath
ok, so why dont you trust yourself ???
It sounds like your shy, like you just dont like to interact with people that much and like you have just had some bad luck.....
Your not alone in the world..when it comes to college - its not meant for everyone, and I know from my prior expierience, and talking with other people when I tried to return to school - a lot of people go on to collage to please there parents, only a small majority go on because they actually want to and more than 50% of those that go into collage because they actually want to,end up just skimming by and doing just what they have to do to pass and move on.
so, you dont talk to people - oh well, so your shy....
and I am sure there are lots of things you can do right without messing it up....you can brush your teeth,get dressed,write a letter,,post a question on yahoo answers
see many things you can do !
you have to look at the possative
get out and socialise a little bit, meet some new people and make some new friends..
get an appointment to see a councelor,,it sounds like you have low self esteem and they can help you with this
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