Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Any advice? Should I rebuild the trust?

Ok, this may be a bit long if you want the full scenario.. but please bare with me..





Ok, to start out, I am 22, and I have been with my girlfriend for 13 months and 11 days.. I am completely in love.. trust me I know the difference.. had my share of screw overs and whatnot.


Ive never felt this way before, not only is she my lover, but shes my best friend.. we have seen each other every single day for the past 13 month and 11 days..


Heres the timeline of problems.. About two weeks into our relationship she cheated on me. She didnt sleep with him, just made out. I didnt find out about this until about 6 months in. I let it slide.


She has lied to me numerous times about how many people she has slept with. It started at 4, them moved to 5, then to six. Then she finally broke down crying to me saying she was a virgin when she met me.. found out that was a lie. It happens that she lost her virginity originally to her ex boyfriend.. the same guy that she cheated on me with two weeks into the relationship.





Aside from all that, we were laying on my bed watching a movie about a week ago when she gets a text that simply said, ';whatsup';.


I asked her who it was and she said she didnt know and to txt them and find out who it was. I did. It was some guy from her psych class.


NOW, she promised to me up and down that she didnt talk to any guys in her class and if she did that she would tell me since I do the same.


VERY long story short I called him and asked him how he got her number, he said she gave it to him, then I found another number in her phone I didnt recognize so I called it too and same story, they swapped numbers. I confronted her about it and she lied numerous times until I finally threatened to end the relationship and I get the truth.





With all of this and other lies in the past I dont know how to trust her no matter how much she promises me that she wont lie to me anymore and how much she cries to me telling me how much she loves me... I want to believe her so bad but its constantly eating away at me... how much more do I not know? What should I do.. How do I trust her again?,,,Any advice? Should I rebuild the trust?
There is know real answer to your question.





All you can do is be honest with her. Let her know when you feel unsure of her commitment. Don not accuse her of anything. Do not threaten to leave the relationship either. Over time you will learn to trust or you won't.





If there turn out to be more incidents, then you need to ask why you continue to stay in the relationship and suffer.

No comments:

Post a Comment