Guys with trust issues. Need advice please!?

Help! My bf broke up with me about 3 mos. ago. Said he wasn't falling in love with me and he realized he was dating too soon after his divorce. (we dated for 5 mo, and started dating about 3 mos after divorce was final. I know it was too soon. No lectures please!).





He confessed to me the other night that it would be a long time before he could trust anyone. And he really doesn't let anyone in that close. (Ex-wife cheated). He was commenting on friends of ours that got engaged after just 7 months and said he could never do that so soon. That it would take years to get that close to someone.





So, guys...I want him back....terribly. He makes me SO happy. But I don't want to be dumb about this either. We are really good friends and talk almost every day.





Do any of you have issues with trust due to a past relationship? Should I hold on to hope here? I don't want to hurt him again by moving on too soon if there's a chance I shouldn't. I CAN wait if I have to.Guys with trust issues. Need advice please!?
I can understand each of your problems. He just has trouble getting close to somebody. It's not that he can't love, it's just he doesn't want to love too easily. I would just keep talking to him, not asking if he wants back into the relationship everytime you see him, but just talking, so he can get to know you. He may let you in as a friend, and then when you think the time is right, you can see if he wants back in the relationship.





Alternate choices:


-If you want him right now, you can try just telling him how you feel. If he makes you happy, then just tell him plainly that you have never been happier, and you want him back in your life. Promise you will take it slowly and as long as you are with him, it doesn't need to be any different. You need to understand him.





-PeterBliss-Guys with trust issues. Need advice please!?
How long did it take you after getting dumped in a past relation with a b/f, to be able to date and have that trust! Its not easy, to trust men or vice versa to woman. But if you love each other and than what's with the fuss. he is being overly cautious, and what I see is that he his hindering and hiding feelings, he needs to let all things out, and tell you all the things that maybe bothering him! COMMUNICATE is the key. This mean not just on a daily life , but dig into his fears, and his stress. We know how much he musted of been hurt, by his ex, but I am sure you are different. Make him realize his first marriage was bad but things can only get better with you! Sometime its harder for men to release their fears and burdens, because we lack the emotions to give out! That's where you come in, and support him! One last thing give it time, and yes hope! Your dreams and his dreams should be relatively close. So don't fret, time and space is what he needs after a good talk, give him space. Let him figure things out, just have a smile for him, and make him realize that you are different and, the trust will grow!





It took me 5 yrs to get over my fiancee's death, and even at that I felt insecured about my relationship, but a good lady sat me down and we fought through my fears and helped me as much as she can. She often gave me time to think and did not talk to me for a few days, and approached me differently each time. She was always supportive and always had a smile! She is currently and still my g/f. It took me a few more years, but my trust level is 95 %, as to when I first met her its was about 30%. So time is and essence, but push a little but not too much, give him space and time to rethink, is good. Smile kiddo, we all have been there. We all need the time and space, as well as the risk factor, but life without pain is no life, so hang in there, all will work out!
Keep your friendship strong and wait until he is ready. You can't push stuff like this because it will only make things worse.
Wow, while some of this sounds similar to something I've been through (recently), I'll share with you the advice I chose to follow. Even though that person might be absolutely wonderful... You need to let them be comfortable with life itself again, and if they choose to be alone while readjusting, so be it. The best you can offer them is your friendship. Let them know you care, let them know that they can count on you as a friend. Don't rush the idea of more than friendship, and let things happen naturally. At the same time, you can't deprive yourself of a wonderful relationship with a good man also. And he certainly wouldn't want you to miss an opportunity that may only come once in a lifetime. Just be his friend for now, and chalk up the past between the two of you as a rebound relationship (as lousy as that sounds, I know... but it doesn't mean friendship can't still prosper). Good luck!
that guy will never change and if he can't trust anyone who is near him then how can you want to keep going?? He need to learn that real life that it happen... I didn't trust my ex wife but when i remarried to my wife and wow, If I didn't change I wouldn't be married to this woman... it been 10 years now and 3 kids. and we do still love eachother every day smiling.. and Wow, I have plm with trust with all my ex girlfriends of course that how I learn alot to deal with it and learn that all women are not like that... and women have different way of cheating, lying, not trust... and all that...





I don't think it will happen if you wait that long and later he found out wow i can moved on by see other woman not you..





You date a married many for 2 months and 3 months after divorce.... How in the world that you think that he will not do to you??? If he can do that to his ex wife and he can do it to any other women out there... Good luck.
then wait, if you can. give him the time he needs if you care that much about him. all good things come with time!


good luck
talk to him
My husband was very jealous when I first met him. He had the same experience of someone cheating on him so it was difficult for him to trust me, but with some work he finally came around. You just have to prove to him that he can trust you. Be completely honest with him. Make sure he knows that not all women are cheaters and you don't appreciate being lumped into that category with his ex. It may take some time. Don't put any pressure on him.