Exact same situation, except my boyfriend did the lying. I broke up with him. I figured if he's lying about one thing, he'll lie about another. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If there is no trust, then what do you have? Absolutely nothing! It's so difficult to accept this fact. But if she caused you grief by her actions, then don't stick around and wait for more pain. It's just not worth it. Convince yourself..... It's just not worth it. =(
PS-- Use your head, not your heart %26lt;3Need some advice on trust issues?
do the exact same thing that u told her u didnt want her to do to her. that way u feel betta in a way yet see how she likes it when the tables r turned on her.
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they dont like when u do the same thing to them ..ull neva forget about it
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I'm struggling with the same kind of thing. I think there are 3 things you need to do:
1. Give up on controlling her. Let her know what you would do if she it again, but leave it at that. Don't try to catch her and just leave it alone as a subject. Its very possible she did this thing as a way of rebelling against your control. She has the right to make her own decisions and so do you.
2. Don't think about it any more. You just need to put the thoughts of her being deceitful out of your mind. If you don't you will remain angry and insecure just as if she were still doing it. Let the past be over and let her start again with a clean record.
3. Of course this leaves you completely vulnerable, so the third thing you need to do is consider the possible consequences of trusting this person. Can you deal with another betrayal or should you prevent it now by leaving the relationship?
It sounds like you made the decision to give her another chance. If that's really your decision, you can't do it half-assed. Either trust and forgive yes, or trust and forgive no. If trust and forgive, ';guess so'; then, splat!!! Just like glep. (adapted from Mr. Miagi in ';Karate Kid';).
its ur foundation boss! do da right
just thought id amuse my self and see what kind of questions you ask since you are soo cool... you sound like the looser to me you are crying about your relationship over the net and you are 26 oh so sad.. if you don't like people leaving lame answers you shouldn't do it to others especially answers with insults in them..... i bet your girl is getting with other guys and lies to your face at least once aweek, you sound insecure and very uneducated and it makes you feel better to put others down. but im only 18 so what do i know maybe you should shoot your self or be a man and suck it up girls lie and they are whores that are not to be trusted.. well im tired of giving advice to a lame so peace,
Okay, I've been there, only the lie to me was something that was worth splitting over. I still tried to make it work, and did for a few months, but when I realized, if they would lie to me one time who says they would'nt do it again. come to find out they had several times. We were married, but are currently going trough a divorce. It turns out that splitting up was the best thing being that I could no longer trust them. If you asked her not to do this one thing then YES, it is worth splitting over. Sorry, just being honest!!!
That's happened a few times to me but usually I find out the answer before I ask the question that way I know if they're lying. That's how you know if you can trust someone. Just try to trust her again and then when you get the chance test her like that and you'll know. Tell her that you want to trust her but she can't lie to you anymore. If this is the first time that she's lied to you then she deserves another chance.
Trust is your foundation..without it your castle will crumble........
You put here a good point. What helped me and my hubby when he did what I didn't want him to do and lied...
It was 2 years ago. He lied... I thought this is the end, this is divorce... But we love each very much
What I did, we sat down on our favorite couch and talked about the situation, everyone has he turn to express his feelings. And at the same time we were asking questions each other. We were talking about trust, that the relationship is built on trust...
And the explanation was so simple, he didn't do it intentionally.
I don't remember those days. And I think after that our relationship and marriage of course became stronger....
Talk to your love ones!!!
im sorry,
i cnt help you. Im sort of cnt trust either.
Shes got to win your trust.
Well I find it amusing, how she went out of her way to make up some lie, to cover over the truth. Instead of just not saying anything at all to you.
Did you ever confront her as to why she lied to you? That would be the first step. Even if your intention is going to break up with her, your still going to want answers. Least get the answers first, before making any break up decisions.
This way, you will reduce the chance of having trust issues with either her or others down the road.
Listen, if it bothers you that much, then end it. A relationship should be built on trust. if the base is not stable, the rest will collapse.
If it bothers you that much it is something that hurt you bad........................I think you should just end it ...............The hurt is deep and she will do it again........sorry
That's tough stuff man, i feel for you. I have also lost trust in my Girlfriend finding out about some things that she has done and not told me about. It's extremely hard to trust them again and i'm hoping it comes back with time. It's been about 4 months for me and i still think about it at least once a week, but i'm sure the time is different for everyone. Sorry you have to deal with this right now, i know how it feels and it sux. Good luck building back the relationship that you had, i hope you are successful.
I sure don't know what she did, but my boyfriend and I have had a very similar experience. I wanted to get my tongue pierced and he said no and I did it anyway and didn't tell him. I didn't lie..I just didn't tell him. He of course, got mad and I eventually gave him and apologized and took the tongue ring out and we compromised. I wouldn't have my tongue pierced if he wouldn't buy or own a gun. Two things we're both against. But I don't know what your girlfriend did and if she can undo what she did,. like I did. If she can, I think she would ';undo it'; as her way of apologizing. If she can't undo it, then she would apologize. But I know from experience that I did it against his will because I was tired of always compromising with him and getting nothing in return. I know you wonder what else she's lying about, that's normal. But seriously...talk to her. You guys need to have a serious talk about why she did what she did and how it truly makes you feel. If she understands, she'll apologize sincerely and she'll do like I did and do everything she can to make it up to you and regain your trust. Things like checking in with you when she goes out with friends and telling you things you should know. You guys CAN work past this! My boyfriend and I did. It's just a two-way street; you both have to work at this.
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