Trust D= need some advice? Any help?

I'm a female, I'm bi-sexual, I have a girlfriend, we've been together for nearly 16 months. We quiet don't live near each other, anyway... She parties, I don't. She cheated on me a few times while drunk/on drugs. I cheated on her once while sober, It was a massive mistake, I regret it. Anyway, She went to a party lasnight and have a fun time, But I think she cheated because we had an argument before hand, And it was on the topic about cheating, we were talking before and she promised me she didn't cheat, Which I do believe but I still have crazy thoughts going on in my head. After a while I blew up on her, and started accusing her off stuff, That made her and myself pretty upset. But then after that she said she thinks im still cheating, Or have cheated more than once, or am going to do it again, Which I'm not going/doing neither. I am completely committed to her, I regret doing what I did, And I'm not gain to hurt her like that. I had no reason what so ever to do it. I was pathetic. Anyways, It's all trust issues, How do I convince her that I'm not cheating?





-Advice not -Leave her- because I won't do that. I do love her, And as I said I am not going to hurt her again-


-Don't say I'm a bad person because I'm not.. it was a mistake, Sure everyone does that in their lifes..-





Anywayy! thanks if you help :)Trust D= need some advice? Any help?
Regaining trust takes time and there is no easy solution. What worries me the most when I read your post is not what you have done but how you can stay committed to someone that cheats on you when being drunk/under the influence. The two of you have a lot of work to do on your relationship, this is not about you alone, and you both need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.





You need to pick it apart. Why did she cheat and why did you cheat? Once you have the real reasons you need to fix that. There is no point in curing the symptom when the illness is still there. Once you understand why things have happened you can also find ways back to trust. ';I know this happened because of 'that' and since we have removed 'that' from our lives there should be no reason for it to happen again.'; And don't say that you didn't have a reason, we as humans never do anything without a reason, though you might not see it as a clear reason at this point. What were you feeling, thinking and so on, there is a reason there or you wouldn't have done it.





Actions speak louder than word and you need to earn the trust back through your actions. Answer her questions preferably in a calm manner, explain what you know admit that you don't know every thing and try to stay away from casting blame and accusations. Be honest about what you do and why. Understand that she might doubt you, it's a natural part of the process. You do doubt her too and she needs to earn your trust in the same way.





Try to avoid arguing about things. Discuss this calmly right away, ';if we argue we stop and wait until we calm down, no hard feelings';. You hang up the phone or walk away and then you talk about it calmly later on. It's possible to be calm even though you are emotional. Set away time when you meet to care for each other and talk about feelings. It means so much more when you see the person face to face. Try to figure out a strategy that will work for the two of you as individuals about what to do when issues like this occurs.





People run away from relationships far too easily these days. I'm happy to see those who dare to try to make things right. I wish you the best of luck now. =)

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