Serious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?

ok so i have a weird issue. i dont know what is going on with me but my husband and i had a baby 4 months ago and ever since then i feel extremely vulnerable and im having a hard time trusting him. some events occured when we first started dating that related to him never mentioning to anyone we were dating. this created feelings that he didnt think i was really good enough for him. we were in high school, we;ve discussed it and he says it was because of our age difference. i believe him and i dont think this is the issue but its one of the things im having a hard time trusting him about lately. it feels like as soon as the baby was born, i for some reason felt like i needed to worry about our relationship. i find myself not trusting him and questioning everything when he hasnt even done anything wrong. i feel so badly and so guilty about this and i realize this is whats happening, but i dont know what to do to change it. i try not to bug him about it so i feel like im alone in thisSerious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?
I think that, more than likely, the feelings that you are now having is because you feel overwhelmed with a new baby and you are probably totally exhausted physically and mentally. And you probably feel insecure in your ability to care for the baby. We all hear on tv or read in magazines how the celebrity moms manage their household, handle the trials of motherhood, get their pre pregnancy body back and romance their husbands and WE ';normal women'; feel like crap because it all hasn't ran so smoothly for us.





I think that you should probably make an appointment to see your doctor to let him know about your ';irrational'; emotional issues. You may be suffering from some sort of post partum depression.





I am not sure what your age difference is, but I can totally understand your husband not telling people that you two were dating. If you were in high school, people would probably be thinking badly of him dating you if he was already out of school for more than a year. He shouldn't of cared, but most of us really do care what people think or are somewhat upset when people think badly of us. As far as you not being good enough for him, he did marry you and have a child with you, so I'm sure that's not it.





If your plans are to be a stay at home mom, then good for you. But, I would strongly encourage you to join a Mommy %26amp; Me class; take an aerobic class; have regular outings with friends. Don't lose yourself. You will be a better mom if you don't totally neglect yourself and the need for interaction with other adults (besides your husband). It will help your self esteem tremendously.





Good luck.Serious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?
you are young and native..





u have a long road to travel... if ur heart and head are telling u something..


u best listen...


u are so in love with him.. u want to believe him .. or u realize the relationship will break up..





he has u snowed..





u need to go get a job and become independent.. for u and the baby's sake...





don't ever depend on love or a man...


love ur self and child first.. then the man...
I think you are feeling young and insecure. Raising a child for the next 20 years (at least) is a huge commitment and can be frightening.





Can you get your mother to come stay with you for a few weeks and help with the baby? It's your first - why learn alone?





Also, it might be that you are exhausted. How much sleep does any parent get with a four month old baby? Could your hubby tend to the child and give you a ';free day?';





You won't know if anything is wrong with your husband until you find out - the best thing to do is to believe him! You know this. I think your husband is an easy outlet and you need help and rest and strength.





good luck!
Been there. You just had a baby. Its your hormones. I was a wreck too after both my kids were born. You feel tired and fat and unatractive. I know it stinks right now but it will get better. Have some cuddle time with him and try to get some exercise. Exercise relieves stress and gives you energy. Your hormones will eventually level out I promise! Talk to you OB maybe the doc can give you some pointers. It took me about 6 months before I got back into the swing of things. Eventually your baby will sleep more at night and you can get some rest too. I think that has a lot to do with it. You'll stop being so emotional when your hormones level out.
You don't want to lose him and I think you're right that these feelings are causing a rift to develop.





Having a baby changes many things in a woman. It is possible that you have some form of Post Natal Depression so a talk to your doctor or a counsellor may be appropriate.





Also try and spend some good time together you and him and keep your mind busy - maybe if you're not working you could volunteer a bit.





Good Luck


Joe