Is there any way that you could accompany him on this trip? If not, make a plan in advance that he will call you at a certain time during the day and/or night (say....9:15) that seems like it would occur right in the middle of any (sad) other plans. Also, let him know that if you get lonely to hear his wonderful voice you would like to be able to call him at night...say 11:00 to say good night sweet heart.
My hubby travels all the time...i call him in the evening at different times (just in-case) he never knows when i will call. But he always answers!
It is hard getting over a trust issue. If he hasn't given you any reason of late then i don't think you have anything to worry about. But I would definitely do the phone thing.
I need advice on a trust issue please....?
He needs to reassure you that this affair won't happen again with anyone. You are getting sick over worry and he has to show you that he is trustworthy or how can you go on. Whatever you need from him to get this trust back he must be willing to do after all he is the one who damaged your trust to begin with.
eventually you will have to let it go if you have forgiven him but you should tell him how you are feeling and let him know why and then tell him to go he will appreciate your honesty and probably will feel like crap for what he did do to you but you can not try to stop him from doing anything hope that helps good luck :)
whatever happens happens period...you have much reason to not trust him...dont be stupid...i think that this is something that has to be waited out because there is also a reason why he wanted to not have a divorce last christmas...people make mistakes but it is up to you to decide how many mistakes you can take
You are scared. You are mad. You don't trust him. You are hurt but happened last year. If you can't trust him a year later, you never will.
Do both of you a favor, go to couple counseling or walk away before you complicate things with more time wasted and children.
You can't make him love you. You can't make him faithful. There is NOTHING you can do except share your fears and hope he cares.
sounds like your Intuition is taking over... i would talk to him about it, but he is going to reassure that everything is going to be ok...but your intuition is still there... without trust you have nothing....good luck
Oh sweet girl. I feel ya pain. Remeber these word's I'm telling you now.
Never fight for him! If you must fight for him he was NEVER yours!!!!!!!!
Trust is a huge huge problem in many relationships expecially when there has been lies and cheating. It is his DUTY to prove to you he is trust worthy. He messed up. Do not worry about makin him angry. If he get's angry then you need to worry about if he is worth being married to. He did the dirty he needs to do the work.
No wedding band??? Not gonna make him a man of honor nor a cheater. It's what's in his heart that matters not what's on his finger. gl
You have justified worries of course, let me say that first.
But honey, he really doesn't have to go away for 2 weeks to have an affair. Might give him more of an opportunity but if he has it in his mind to have a relationship, emotional or physical with another, than no place on earth will make a hill of beans when he chooses to do so.
Also a wedding band really doesn't stop a women in today's world. 1 out of 2 I hear statistically don't give a hoot married or not.
Sorry but you are either going to have to risk the trust factor again, go with him, or feel the feel the results have made you feel.
Kim,
I know that pit-in-the-stomach feeling all to well. My best advise is to say just that, ';I don't want to piss him (you) off. I don't know what to say...I am scared. I am mad.'; and say I love you, I love what we have overcome and I'm terrified of loosing that.
Buy a ring for him to wear while hes gone (even an inexpensive temporary one).
Send text messages each day hes gone, letting him know you are thinking about him. Throw in a picture of you (even a provocative picture) that he can look at on his cell phone.
Talk each evening to say goodnight.
This will keep you on his mind while he is gone.
Every man is different but if you worry or nag too much it will only upset him and make him feel like you are accusing him of something so why not go ahead and do something.
Don't give him the excuse. Be strong and trust your man.
This is why I could never go back with someone who was thinking of cheating or cheated!!! you never get over it!!! I don't care what anybody says. It's always going to come up at one time or another. Like this story here. Perfect example. I wouldn't trust him either. But WHO wants to live like this?? Always on edge thinking he could do this to me again?? I'm sorry for your pain. But the truth is%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; it never really ever goes away. I don't know how to answer this one??
Ouch, I feel for you.
I say since he never actually cheated on you with the other woman then he's not the cheating kind. If he was he wouldn't have thought about leaving you or even have told his mother, he simply would have slept with the other woman.
You have absolutely no reason to trust that he won't wander but you're going to make yourself sick with worry if you keep it up. You have to remind yourself that he didn't actually leave which means he realized that he still loves you.
He'll more than likely be too busy with work to think about other women while he's away and he'd better check in with you every evening to reassure that he's not cheating. He put himself in this situation and if he doesn't realize that then he doesn't deserve you.
You have no control over anything but what you yourself do, not over anyone else. If someone is going to cheat they will, but you have to realise that if you have done everything you can to make a happy marriage, and it still fails, know that he is the problem, not you.
If you try to exert control, it will only push others away. The best thing you can do is stay calm and happy. People gravitate to happy people, they exude a confidence thats very attractive. If you behave this way instead of insecure your husband will not want to lose you. Insecurities push people away, happiness attracts. Just be really awesome for the next while and completely happy with yourself and he will notice.
If he is going to cheat then he will, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Concentrate on what makes you happy in life and persue it, don't let your happiness rely on your husband, only you can protect yourself from hurt.
I would however also suggest you go buy him a new wedding ring before he goes, and give it as a gift with a small love note.
i understand where you are coming from. The same type of deal happened to me and some days i feel ok, and others i am in complete questioning mode. I had to explain to my husband that i will be watching him, and i tell him that he has done this to himself. Your husband is just going to have to bite the bullet because he made you this way. If he becomes defensive just tell him this is how it will be for a while.
No comments:
Post a Comment