Why does almost every Vet sell Science Diet? It is far from the best. Its not even good. I heard that it was once a good dog food before it was bought out by Colgate-Palmolive. I have heard that all of the foods owned by conglomerates were at one time good foods. The conglomerates buy them, change the formulas and turn them into crap. Which ones do you think are good and why?
Science Diet - Colgate Palmolive
Pedigree and Nutro - Mars Inc.
Kibbles 'N Bits, Nature's Recipe - Del Monte
Purina, Beneful, Purina One, Purina Pro Plan - Nestle
Iams %26amp; Eukanuba - Procter %26amp; GambleDo you trust your vet's advice on what to feed your dog?
I never trust any vet i've had went it comes to what to feed.
They always push Science Diet.
For the most part i have found that vets rarely know what good food is.
Science diet which of course most of them carry is one of the worst you can get, it's even worse then purina which is the worst.
I've always feed a raw food diet, no fillers.
and i've rarely had any health problems in any of my dogs, and they love it especially when i give them a kong toy full of pureed liver as a treat. :)
it's a bit more expensive if you buy it from a pet store but if you make it your self it's really cheap.Do you trust your vet's advice on what to feed your dog?
My vet has never told me what to brand of dog food to feed!
Nope and none of those are good foods. check out reviews of it on dogfoodanalysis.com
TJ dogs don't even needs carbs so corn is worthless
None of those foods listed are good.
Vets are often sponsored by these big brands, therefore they would recommend them.
Good food: Wellness/Innova, Blue Buffalo, Natural Balance, Canidae, Chicken's Soup... The listen goes on.
People trust the vet because they know about diseases, vaccinations, injuries, and lots of other things that they don't. They spent a lot of time studying and working towards their goal. To help animals.
Then money became their priority. They get paid quite a bit for advertising crappy brands as premium.Come on, what's more impressive that vet recommendation? There was a time when I would have chosen Alpo if my vet said so.
NO! I wouldn't feed my dogs Science Diet, Iams, or Eukanuba. (that's what my vet recommends) Yuck!
I agree with Red Rover. none of those are good. I am using Chicken Soup, I wish I could do better for my 5, but it is the best that I can afford. I do trust my vet, she is a Holistic Vet and I am lucky to have her only a few minutes from my house. Also have a Holistic and Natural Pet food store by my house that apparently folks come from all over to buy stuff at.
avoid corn in your pet food. They cant digest it, it is just a filler and causes allergies. Beneful is the worst, it's got everything in it that should be avoided!
right now I am feeding Purina puppy chow. However I am switching to chicken soup to the puppy lovers soul...as soon as I can find it.
I asked my vet when I first got my cocker spaniel if it was okay to feed him Eukanuba (I was not educated on good food %26amp; thought Euk was good). She praised me for feeding him Eukanuba because it is ';such a great food';. When I asked her if there was anything out there that would be better for him she said, ';absolutely not. Euk is a top dog food';
Well, after some reading apparently Eukanuba is one of the WORST dog foods. Thanks vet!
Ps. now feeding him blue buffalo. Not quite the best out there, but far from the worst.
LOL, no.
Vets are good at medicine and surgery. They are not canine nutritionists.
It is because they make some money from selling their food. Almost all Vets will tell everyone that Science Diet is good when actually it is not. I don't buy those food UNLESS my dogs %26amp; cats really need them. Recently my pups had to eat the i/d food which is actually a special formulated canned food by Science Diet because they had some viral infection in their stomachs. After they were fine, we stopped feeding them that food. The good thing about the Vet we go to often is, they never recommend people buying their food with no good reason or purpose. Infact, they only recommend the medicated food only for the sick pets that need them. Which is good. They are more into helping their patients %26amp; not just about making money only.
I forgot to add that, none of the foods above are good. Probably I would have to say though that Science Diet, Purina One %26amp; Pro Plan are ';slightly'; higher than the rest. But still, they all are no good because I think all of them if I'm not mistaken has the ingredient Corn %26amp; it's the number one ingredient.
My dogs are on high quality kibbles called Addiction %26amp; Orijen. They also eat home-cooked food. Though last time, I didn't know much about dog food %26amp; what's good %26amp; bad. I used to feed them Purina, Science Diet(recommended by another Vet), Eukanuba %26amp; some other crappy foods. My dogs had a lot of problems eating those food. They are much more healthier now with healthy coats %26amp; all eating these higher quality dog food.
None of the above.
My vet suggested we feed ';Flint River Ranch.'; I thanked him for the suggestion, but after doing my own research decided on California Natural. I trust my vet, and know that he is well meaning, but not all dogs thrive on the same diet, so it is up to the owner to find what works best for her own dog. Took us a few years to find the right formula, and I am still not sure it is the absolute best one out there for him.
Uh... Why is Science Diet bought by Colgate... isn't that a toothpaste? Anyway, my dog eats Purina One Senior, and he loves it. He doesn't even chew it! (Well, he couldn't if he tried. He barely has any teeth left, he has some gum problems.) Yep, he likes it a lot. We have tried a lot of different kinds, he prefers this one.
Vets carry Science Diet in order to have prescription formulas for sick dogs.
Human food producers making pet foods is a natural because they have an in house source for many of the ingredients that would otherwise just go to the landfill to be wasted and cause more pollution.
This not only keeps the cost of the pet foods down, it also keeps the cost of YOUR food down. The irony is that before the ';conglomerates'; bought them out these dog food brands bought their ingredients from these same conglomerates. One thing you can count on, no one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, is butchering a bunch of lambs (or chickens) just to make dog food.
Lets clear up some myths;
A vet can recommend ANY BRAND of dog food that their little ole heart desires.
Vets MUST take classes in animal nutrition, IT'S REQUIRED.
edit
';avoid corn in your pet food. They cant digest it, it is just a filler and causes allergies';
THAT is pure BULL ! ! Corn is one of the richest sources of starch (carbs) on the planet. Why do you think it is the product of choice to use for making everything from moonshine to fuels.
Also more dogs are allergic to the ground cover that they crap on than are allergic to ALL grains combined.
edit #2
';ADDED: TJ - ';Corn is one of the richest food sources on the planet?'; ???? - it may be cheap and useful but it is not a natural canine food source, sorry.';
That is ONLY because dogs never learned how to GRIND grains, it took the caveman to figure that out and dogs have been eating it ever since. So grains have been part of the dogs normal diet for about 10,000 years.
edit #3
';TJ dogs don't even needs carbs so corn is worthless';
Ah-WHAT ! ! !
Maybe you should read this.
http://dels.nas.edu/dels/rpt_briefs/dog_鈥?/a>
Ignorance is such a wonderful thing
nope, vets are necessary and learn how to treat injured or sick animals. They get about a half day training on diet and nutrition - wait for it - given by petfood manufacturers !
My vet stopped selling and peddling dog food.
#
I also feed raw food diet and have for 14 years. Will not go back to feeding commercially produced food.
ADDED: TJ - ';Corn is one of the richest food sources on the planet?'; ???? - it may be cheap and useful but it is not a natural canine food source, sorry.
If inappropriate commercial foods were not making dogs sick in the first instance, there would be no need for Iams to make Prescription Diets ! Really Iams cannot lose can they?
I read your link TJ and most of what is said I would agree with although none the people who put that together I have ever heard of before. I did not read that they said carbohydrates were a natural canine food source, only that dogs now are fed it in commercial food.
%26gt; my quote : Most of the essential nutrients required by a canine can be found in a prey animal. (Read my link) %26lt;
The one thing I nearly choked on and which reduced the entire credibility of the paper was when they declared that ';dogs are descended from omnivores'; - where they got that from beats me, they did not give the source of their scientific evidence of that fact! LOL. I wonder if they have ever compared the jaw and teeth of a canine to those of an omnivore?
TJ, from your theory then if humans started to feed dogs cereal centuries ago (even though it is not a natural canine food source and dogs would not themselves source and eat it) then if we feed dogs jelly beans for the next umpteen years, we could say that is a natural food source also?
But if we did, surely dogs would become sick, develop growth related disorders, kidney problems, blood disorders, endocrine related problems, allergies, heart, thyroid problems, tooth and gum disroders, cancers, ..........hey....... wait a minute, modern dogs fed a commercial diet already get those problems, right????
i do, but i have one of those ';weird'; vets who believes in raw feeding and grain free diets.
he carries some pretty good brands like Wellness, but they're expensive, and too rich for my APBT's, so i go to the local pet supply for Taste of the Wild.
my vet would NEVER recommend any of those foods you listed though.
Pom Mom- that's a switch to the better- kudos.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Can i trust him or nott?!? **ADVICE NEEDED**?
Im 15 and im going on holiday soon. My boyfriends just left school. His prom is while im on holiday, and he has a prom date! Im kind of worried about what will happen, and my mates wont tell me if something does because they wont want to wreck my holiday. I know i can trust him, but i just dont feel comfortable...Can i trust him or nott?!? **ADVICE NEEDED**?
If you're questioning it then that means somewhere in the back of your mind there are seeds of doubt.
Has he ever given you a reason NOT to trust him? Has he cheated on you? Does he flirt regularly with other girls? Who is he going to prom with? (That bothers me, because most guys I knew who's GF couldn't come with them went alone, not with a date!).
You're young. Whatever happens ';happens';. You have no control over it, so don't spend your holiday thinking and worrying about it. If he cheats on you, throw him out with the trash and move on to your next conquest. One boy is not worth the mental anguish and ruining your holiday.
Go, relax, enjoy yourself and don't give it another thought. Que sera, sera!Can i trust him or nott?!? **ADVICE NEEDED**?
i think you should trust him cos at the end of the day if you don't now then later in life whats the point if you love some one then you have to trust and another think if there your mates then if he does cop off behind your back then they will tell you or there not mates
Id Wait Until You Get Back Off Of Holiday Because If Something Happens His Prom Date Will Probably Show Off About It So Id Try Finding Out Off Of Someone Like One Of Her Mates But If You Trust Him Like You Say You Do Then I Dont Think You Have Anything To Worry About.
well you are on holiday, and hes not goin to go to the prom on his own ! if your trust him then thats all that matters.
let him have fun, and you go have fun on your holiday,
:)
I don't get this, why do people think it's ok to take someone else on a date while they have a partner?
It's NOT ok!!
Tell him it hurts and it's not right, would you do this to him?
If he can't respect it making you uncomfortable, and go in a group with out a date, then dump him. Don't let him ruin your holiday.
u should never trust any man lol just go and have fun and im sure when u come back, if he did do something wrong u will find out about it
If you're questioning it then that means somewhere in the back of your mind there are seeds of doubt.
Has he ever given you a reason NOT to trust him? Has he cheated on you? Does he flirt regularly with other girls? Who is he going to prom with? (That bothers me, because most guys I knew who's GF couldn't come with them went alone, not with a date!).
You're young. Whatever happens ';happens';. You have no control over it, so don't spend your holiday thinking and worrying about it. If he cheats on you, throw him out with the trash and move on to your next conquest. One boy is not worth the mental anguish and ruining your holiday.
Go, relax, enjoy yourself and don't give it another thought. Que sera, sera!Can i trust him or nott?!? **ADVICE NEEDED**?
i think you should trust him cos at the end of the day if you don't now then later in life whats the point if you love some one then you have to trust and another think if there your mates then if he does cop off behind your back then they will tell you or there not mates
Id Wait Until You Get Back Off Of Holiday Because If Something Happens His Prom Date Will Probably Show Off About It So Id Try Finding Out Off Of Someone Like One Of Her Mates But If You Trust Him Like You Say You Do Then I Dont Think You Have Anything To Worry About.
well you are on holiday, and hes not goin to go to the prom on his own ! if your trust him then thats all that matters.
let him have fun, and you go have fun on your holiday,
:)
I don't get this, why do people think it's ok to take someone else on a date while they have a partner?
It's NOT ok!!
Tell him it hurts and it's not right, would you do this to him?
If he can't respect it making you uncomfortable, and go in a group with out a date, then dump him. Don't let him ruin your holiday.
u should never trust any man lol just go and have fun and im sure when u come back, if he did do something wrong u will find out about it
I love somebody but going to marry another i m very puzzeled want to sucide,breach of trust to both pls advice
look the life is urs,donot play with ur life.u love someone but now u r going to marry a unknown person donot do this to ur self,think deeply,the life is completely urs u v the rite to take decision.keep smilingI love somebody but going to marry another i m very puzzeled want to sucide,breach of trust to both pls advice
completely ur decision..n u have to decide wat to do..watever u do..watever step u take ..dont ever redret for leaving the other...n be loyal to ur relation..tell truth always...best of luckI love somebody but going to marry another i m very puzzeled want to sucide,breach of trust to both pls advice
what ever the situation is its not worth killing urself over. you dont need him more than you need your life. another guy will come along.
suicide is not the solution of any problem
we often do not get all the things that we desire
you just keep one thing always in your mind that ';whatever happens is always good for us';
if you are indian and knowing hindi then just read below
';zindgi hai dasta gum aur khushi
to kyun na rakhe apne hotho pe hansi
jo lutana tha wo toh lut gaya
jo hey apne pass usse kar apni duniya hasi';
so keep smiling
completely ur decision..n u have to decide wat to do..watever u do..watever step u take ..dont ever redret for leaving the other...n be loyal to ur relation..tell truth always...best of luckI love somebody but going to marry another i m very puzzeled want to sucide,breach of trust to both pls advice
what ever the situation is its not worth killing urself over. you dont need him more than you need your life. another guy will come along.
suicide is not the solution of any problem
we often do not get all the things that we desire
you just keep one thing always in your mind that ';whatever happens is always good for us';
if you are indian and knowing hindi then just read below
';zindgi hai dasta gum aur khushi
to kyun na rakhe apne hotho pe hansi
jo lutana tha wo toh lut gaya
jo hey apne pass usse kar apni duniya hasi';
so keep smiling
Serious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?
ok so i have a weird issue. i dont know what is going on with me but my husband and i had a baby 4 months ago and ever since then i feel extremely vulnerable and im having a hard time trusting him. some events occured when we first started dating that related to him never mentioning to anyone we were dating. this created feelings that he didnt think i was really good enough for him. we were in high school, we;ve discussed it and he says it was because of our age difference. i believe him and i dont think this is the issue but its one of the things im having a hard time trusting him about lately. it feels like as soon as the baby was born, i for some reason felt like i needed to worry about our relationship. i find myself not trusting him and questioning everything when he hasnt even done anything wrong. i feel so badly and so guilty about this and i realize this is whats happening, but i dont know what to do to change it. i try not to bug him about it so i feel like im alone in thisSerious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?
I think that, more than likely, the feelings that you are now having is because you feel overwhelmed with a new baby and you are probably totally exhausted physically and mentally. And you probably feel insecure in your ability to care for the baby. We all hear on tv or read in magazines how the celebrity moms manage their household, handle the trials of motherhood, get their pre pregnancy body back and romance their husbands and WE ';normal women'; feel like crap because it all hasn't ran so smoothly for us.
I think that you should probably make an appointment to see your doctor to let him know about your ';irrational'; emotional issues. You may be suffering from some sort of post partum depression.
I am not sure what your age difference is, but I can totally understand your husband not telling people that you two were dating. If you were in high school, people would probably be thinking badly of him dating you if he was already out of school for more than a year. He shouldn't of cared, but most of us really do care what people think or are somewhat upset when people think badly of us. As far as you not being good enough for him, he did marry you and have a child with you, so I'm sure that's not it.
If your plans are to be a stay at home mom, then good for you. But, I would strongly encourage you to join a Mommy %26amp; Me class; take an aerobic class; have regular outings with friends. Don't lose yourself. You will be a better mom if you don't totally neglect yourself and the need for interaction with other adults (besides your husband). It will help your self esteem tremendously.
Good luck.Serious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?
you are young and native..
u have a long road to travel... if ur heart and head are telling u something..
u best listen...
u are so in love with him.. u want to believe him .. or u realize the relationship will break up..
he has u snowed..
u need to go get a job and become independent.. for u and the baby's sake...
don't ever depend on love or a man...
love ur self and child first.. then the man...
I think you are feeling young and insecure. Raising a child for the next 20 years (at least) is a huge commitment and can be frightening.
Can you get your mother to come stay with you for a few weeks and help with the baby? It's your first - why learn alone?
Also, it might be that you are exhausted. How much sleep does any parent get with a four month old baby? Could your hubby tend to the child and give you a ';free day?';
You won't know if anything is wrong with your husband until you find out - the best thing to do is to believe him! You know this. I think your husband is an easy outlet and you need help and rest and strength.
good luck!
Been there. You just had a baby. Its your hormones. I was a wreck too after both my kids were born. You feel tired and fat and unatractive. I know it stinks right now but it will get better. Have some cuddle time with him and try to get some exercise. Exercise relieves stress and gives you energy. Your hormones will eventually level out I promise! Talk to you OB maybe the doc can give you some pointers. It took me about 6 months before I got back into the swing of things. Eventually your baby will sleep more at night and you can get some rest too. I think that has a lot to do with it. You'll stop being so emotional when your hormones level out.
You don't want to lose him and I think you're right that these feelings are causing a rift to develop.
Having a baby changes many things in a woman. It is possible that you have some form of Post Natal Depression so a talk to your doctor or a counsellor may be appropriate.
Also try and spend some good time together you and him and keep your mind busy - maybe if you're not working you could volunteer a bit.
Good Luck
Joe
I think that, more than likely, the feelings that you are now having is because you feel overwhelmed with a new baby and you are probably totally exhausted physically and mentally. And you probably feel insecure in your ability to care for the baby. We all hear on tv or read in magazines how the celebrity moms manage their household, handle the trials of motherhood, get their pre pregnancy body back and romance their husbands and WE ';normal women'; feel like crap because it all hasn't ran so smoothly for us.
I think that you should probably make an appointment to see your doctor to let him know about your ';irrational'; emotional issues. You may be suffering from some sort of post partum depression.
I am not sure what your age difference is, but I can totally understand your husband not telling people that you two were dating. If you were in high school, people would probably be thinking badly of him dating you if he was already out of school for more than a year. He shouldn't of cared, but most of us really do care what people think or are somewhat upset when people think badly of us. As far as you not being good enough for him, he did marry you and have a child with you, so I'm sure that's not it.
If your plans are to be a stay at home mom, then good for you. But, I would strongly encourage you to join a Mommy %26amp; Me class; take an aerobic class; have regular outings with friends. Don't lose yourself. You will be a better mom if you don't totally neglect yourself and the need for interaction with other adults (besides your husband). It will help your self esteem tremendously.
Good luck.Serious answers with GOOD advice only! issues with trust when there shouldnt be?
you are young and native..
u have a long road to travel... if ur heart and head are telling u something..
u best listen...
u are so in love with him.. u want to believe him .. or u realize the relationship will break up..
he has u snowed..
u need to go get a job and become independent.. for u and the baby's sake...
don't ever depend on love or a man...
love ur self and child first.. then the man...
I think you are feeling young and insecure. Raising a child for the next 20 years (at least) is a huge commitment and can be frightening.
Can you get your mother to come stay with you for a few weeks and help with the baby? It's your first - why learn alone?
Also, it might be that you are exhausted. How much sleep does any parent get with a four month old baby? Could your hubby tend to the child and give you a ';free day?';
You won't know if anything is wrong with your husband until you find out - the best thing to do is to believe him! You know this. I think your husband is an easy outlet and you need help and rest and strength.
good luck!
Been there. You just had a baby. Its your hormones. I was a wreck too after both my kids were born. You feel tired and fat and unatractive. I know it stinks right now but it will get better. Have some cuddle time with him and try to get some exercise. Exercise relieves stress and gives you energy. Your hormones will eventually level out I promise! Talk to you OB maybe the doc can give you some pointers. It took me about 6 months before I got back into the swing of things. Eventually your baby will sleep more at night and you can get some rest too. I think that has a lot to do with it. You'll stop being so emotional when your hormones level out.
You don't want to lose him and I think you're right that these feelings are causing a rift to develop.
Having a baby changes many things in a woman. It is possible that you have some form of Post Natal Depression so a talk to your doctor or a counsellor may be appropriate.
Also try and spend some good time together you and him and keep your mind busy - maybe if you're not working you could volunteer a bit.
Good Luck
Joe
Trust D= need some advice? Any help?
I'm a female, I'm bi-sexual, I have a girlfriend, we've been together for nearly 16 months. We quiet don't live near each other, anyway... She parties, I don't. She cheated on me a few times while drunk/on drugs. I cheated on her once while sober, It was a massive mistake, I regret it. Anyway, She went to a party lasnight and have a fun time, But I think she cheated because we had an argument before hand, And it was on the topic about cheating, we were talking before and she promised me she didn't cheat, Which I do believe but I still have crazy thoughts going on in my head. After a while I blew up on her, and started accusing her off stuff, That made her and myself pretty upset. But then after that she said she thinks im still cheating, Or have cheated more than once, or am going to do it again, Which I'm not going/doing neither. I am completely committed to her, I regret doing what I did, And I'm not gain to hurt her like that. I had no reason what so ever to do it. I was pathetic. Anyways, It's all trust issues, How do I convince her that I'm not cheating?
-Advice not -Leave her- because I won't do that. I do love her, And as I said I am not going to hurt her again-
-Don't say I'm a bad person because I'm not.. it was a mistake, Sure everyone does that in their lifes..-
Anywayy! thanks if you help :)Trust D= need some advice? Any help?
Regaining trust takes time and there is no easy solution. What worries me the most when I read your post is not what you have done but how you can stay committed to someone that cheats on you when being drunk/under the influence. The two of you have a lot of work to do on your relationship, this is not about you alone, and you both need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
You need to pick it apart. Why did she cheat and why did you cheat? Once you have the real reasons you need to fix that. There is no point in curing the symptom when the illness is still there. Once you understand why things have happened you can also find ways back to trust. ';I know this happened because of 'that' and since we have removed 'that' from our lives there should be no reason for it to happen again.'; And don't say that you didn't have a reason, we as humans never do anything without a reason, though you might not see it as a clear reason at this point. What were you feeling, thinking and so on, there is a reason there or you wouldn't have done it.
Actions speak louder than word and you need to earn the trust back through your actions. Answer her questions preferably in a calm manner, explain what you know admit that you don't know every thing and try to stay away from casting blame and accusations. Be honest about what you do and why. Understand that she might doubt you, it's a natural part of the process. You do doubt her too and she needs to earn your trust in the same way.
Try to avoid arguing about things. Discuss this calmly right away, ';if we argue we stop and wait until we calm down, no hard feelings';. You hang up the phone or walk away and then you talk about it calmly later on. It's possible to be calm even though you are emotional. Set away time when you meet to care for each other and talk about feelings. It means so much more when you see the person face to face. Try to figure out a strategy that will work for the two of you as individuals about what to do when issues like this occurs.
People run away from relationships far too easily these days. I'm happy to see those who dare to try to make things right. I wish you the best of luck now. =)eyeshadow
-Advice not -Leave her- because I won't do that. I do love her, And as I said I am not going to hurt her again-
-Don't say I'm a bad person because I'm not.. it was a mistake, Sure everyone does that in their lifes..-
Anywayy! thanks if you help :)Trust D= need some advice? Any help?
Regaining trust takes time and there is no easy solution. What worries me the most when I read your post is not what you have done but how you can stay committed to someone that cheats on you when being drunk/under the influence. The two of you have a lot of work to do on your relationship, this is not about you alone, and you both need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
You need to pick it apart. Why did she cheat and why did you cheat? Once you have the real reasons you need to fix that. There is no point in curing the symptom when the illness is still there. Once you understand why things have happened you can also find ways back to trust. ';I know this happened because of 'that' and since we have removed 'that' from our lives there should be no reason for it to happen again.'; And don't say that you didn't have a reason, we as humans never do anything without a reason, though you might not see it as a clear reason at this point. What were you feeling, thinking and so on, there is a reason there or you wouldn't have done it.
Actions speak louder than word and you need to earn the trust back through your actions. Answer her questions preferably in a calm manner, explain what you know admit that you don't know every thing and try to stay away from casting blame and accusations. Be honest about what you do and why. Understand that she might doubt you, it's a natural part of the process. You do doubt her too and she needs to earn your trust in the same way.
Try to avoid arguing about things. Discuss this calmly right away, ';if we argue we stop and wait until we calm down, no hard feelings';. You hang up the phone or walk away and then you talk about it calmly later on. It's possible to be calm even though you are emotional. Set away time when you meet to care for each other and talk about feelings. It means so much more when you see the person face to face. Try to figure out a strategy that will work for the two of you as individuals about what to do when issues like this occurs.
People run away from relationships far too easily these days. I'm happy to see those who dare to try to make things right. I wish you the best of luck now. =)
Hey everyone, i am really depressed- i keep losing things and my dad won't trust me at all, advice?
I am eighteen and finishing my first year of college- but i keep losing and misplacing things- i just lost a check for 100$ my dad wrote to register for school. I lost my job because my store closed down and i need a new one, but my dad doesn't trust me and won't let me go and get a good paying job, he wants to protect me so much and at the same time he wants me to be responsible but won't let me go and find out on my own...support or advice needed really bad here...Hey everyone, i am really depressed- i keep losing things and my dad won't trust me at all, advice?
your dad only cares about you. but maybe you should sit down and talk to him, explain how you are feeling. all the pressure maybe what is causing you to feel depressed. and losing things may be you are thinking about too much and get confused easily. i suffer from depression and i can easily lose anything as i am always busy (but not seeming to get very far) don't worry with a bit of support and taking time out to decide what you want out of life i am sure it will all sort it self out.Hey everyone, i am really depressed- i keep losing things and my dad won't trust me at all, advice?
hun your old anuff to leave and get yourself your own family!!!!!!
going through the same thing glad you asked
your dad only cares about you. but maybe you should sit down and talk to him, explain how you are feeling. all the pressure maybe what is causing you to feel depressed. and losing things may be you are thinking about too much and get confused easily. i suffer from depression and i can easily lose anything as i am always busy (but not seeming to get very far) don't worry with a bit of support and taking time out to decide what you want out of life i am sure it will all sort it self out.Hey everyone, i am really depressed- i keep losing things and my dad won't trust me at all, advice?
hun your old anuff to leave and get yourself your own family!!!!!!
going through the same thing glad you asked
DO you think your friend is a backstabber? can you trust him/her? special advice given..?
Have you ever found out your friend is calling u names?DO you think your friend is a backstabber? can you trust him/her? special advice given..?
If your friend is backstabbing you than they are not you friend.DO you think your friend is a backstabber? can you trust him/her? special advice given..?
but what if they say you are a backstabber and you are not? Report Abuse
Does the informant have an agenda?
I have had some people in my life who at one time I considered friends however, the trick is knowing that friends don't back stab. Should they become insecure or envious about the relationship they are in, they bring their concerns to the table so that they can be resolved, and worked through. Those people that I thought were friends have all been eliminated from my life. I wish the best for my friends, and I only want only people in my life who wish the best for me. Should I find that negative people are in my life, I simply pray for them, wish them well, and remove them out of my life. Life is negative enough, when I come home I want all negativity's left outside......
Hell yes i do!! a long time ago, my friend and i got into a fight and we sat on diff lunch tables and she REALLY likes to repeat herself so every single day, she would tell the ppl on her table that i'm annoying and that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. (my other friend sits there and she tells me what she says and she told me that my friend has repeated herself about me sooo much that the WHOLE table was getting annoyed) she's just using me to get around in the halls and as a partner for p.e. i hate how she does taht and it PISSES me off!!
there's a quote...
';With friends like that, there's no need for enemies';
So, if you have a friend who talks about you behind your back, then she really isn't your friend. But karma goes around, and she will be getting some bad karma. So don't go around talking about her either. My mommy always says, Do onto others as you want done onto you.
if your friend is backstabbing you then they are not much of a friend. if you choose to keep them aroud be careful what you say it will just give them more to talk about behind your back. I would STRONGLY suggest looking for some new friends.
e
if a friend is a bacstabber then they really arent your friend. believe me i had a friend who i thought was my best friend until i over hurd her one day talking crap about me and then i decided that i didnt need her as a friend that i was better off with my other friends
If your friend is backstabbing you than they are not you friend.DO you think your friend is a backstabber? can you trust him/her? special advice given..?
but what if they say you are a backstabber and you are not? Report Abuse
Does the informant have an agenda?
I have had some people in my life who at one time I considered friends however, the trick is knowing that friends don't back stab. Should they become insecure or envious about the relationship they are in, they bring their concerns to the table so that they can be resolved, and worked through. Those people that I thought were friends have all been eliminated from my life. I wish the best for my friends, and I only want only people in my life who wish the best for me. Should I find that negative people are in my life, I simply pray for them, wish them well, and remove them out of my life. Life is negative enough, when I come home I want all negativity's left outside......
Hell yes i do!! a long time ago, my friend and i got into a fight and we sat on diff lunch tables and she REALLY likes to repeat herself so every single day, she would tell the ppl on her table that i'm annoying and that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. (my other friend sits there and she tells me what she says and she told me that my friend has repeated herself about me sooo much that the WHOLE table was getting annoyed) she's just using me to get around in the halls and as a partner for p.e. i hate how she does taht and it PISSES me off!!
there's a quote...
';With friends like that, there's no need for enemies';
So, if you have a friend who talks about you behind your back, then she really isn't your friend. But karma goes around, and she will be getting some bad karma. So don't go around talking about her either. My mommy always says, Do onto others as you want done onto you.
if your friend is backstabbing you then they are not much of a friend. if you choose to keep them aroud be careful what you say it will just give them more to talk about behind your back. I would STRONGLY suggest looking for some new friends.
e
if a friend is a bacstabber then they really arent your friend. believe me i had a friend who i thought was my best friend until i over hurd her one day talking crap about me and then i decided that i didnt need her as a friend that i was better off with my other friends
Should I confront him? My trust is shattering.please advice..I need help?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months ..I dont trust him anymore because I have too much evidence..Like 5 days ago he gave me a outfit skirt+ shirt..I liked so today was the first day that I weared..When I sat down I notice that in the back pocket of the skirt there was a Victorias Secret underwear...so now I know he cheated because how can the underwear get there...What should I do?????Should I confront him? My trust is shattering.please advice..I need help?
What if he placed the underwear in the skirt as a surprise?! You are speculating and only making a guess; why don't you approach him and find out if the panties were meant for you, or did they come from some other woman.Should I confront him? My trust is shattering.please advice..I need help?
Alot, leave him for startes. And two realize your to blame for this. You apparently got into a relationship were all you did was fall in love with a stranger, which actual means your infactuated and obsessed with the possible hope of better things to come, now that you see its not going to happen all your left with is the infactuation which isn't strong enough for you to make the descion you need to which is namly leaving him. Understand that friends can become great lovers, but lovers never become great friends, they do become strangers, and wonderful enemies which you have just learned. Batism by fire, is the rule of life, you get burn, you learn, and hopfully don't get burned again. See it doesn't matter if he didn't cheat on you and everything has a logical explination. The fact is you guys are not close enough for you one to trust him, and two him to consule you. Next time try to see the inside before the out.....
ok first calm down. it sounds like he stuck that underwear there for YOU to wear. people do that. does it look new or used? really think about all of that before you attack him about cheating on you.....
What if he placed the underwear in the skirt as a surprise?! You are speculating and only making a guess; why don't you approach him and find out if the panties were meant for you, or did they come from some other woman.Should I confront him? My trust is shattering.please advice..I need help?
Alot, leave him for startes. And two realize your to blame for this. You apparently got into a relationship were all you did was fall in love with a stranger, which actual means your infactuated and obsessed with the possible hope of better things to come, now that you see its not going to happen all your left with is the infactuation which isn't strong enough for you to make the descion you need to which is namly leaving him. Understand that friends can become great lovers, but lovers never become great friends, they do become strangers, and wonderful enemies which you have just learned. Batism by fire, is the rule of life, you get burn, you learn, and hopfully don't get burned again. See it doesn't matter if he didn't cheat on you and everything has a logical explination. The fact is you guys are not close enough for you one to trust him, and two him to consule you. Next time try to see the inside before the out.....
ok first calm down. it sounds like he stuck that underwear there for YOU to wear. people do that. does it look new or used? really think about all of that before you attack him about cheating on you.....
I have an issue that I need advice on about trust. I've been with my bf for close to 2 yrs now and this?
morning he told me that he doesn't trust me but didn't tell me why. I asked him how could he even think that I would ever cheat on him and he said that this has nothing to do with cheating. He doesn't trust me about other things yet I have no idea what they could be. He told me that I shouldn't worry about it if I know in my heart that I'm good with myself. I am so irritated about this because now I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and I wonder what could I have done to make him not trust me. How can a relationship survive without trust from both people? Please help.....I have an issue that I need advice on about trust. I've been with my bf for close to 2 yrs now and this?
i think hes insecure and feeling guilty.
he probably did something and now he feels like you might do it too.
when he talks to you about it dont get so defensive because then he might think your guilty of somethingI have an issue that I need advice on about trust. I've been with my bf for close to 2 yrs now and this?
He is playing games with you. He is probably the one who has done something distrustful. I would back off, way off, of the relationship until he decides to come forward with whatever he is talking about.
Make him come to you, act offended that he would even suggest such a thing. If he doesn't pursue you, then you know he is just making excuses to find a way out.
i think hes insecure and feeling guilty.
he probably did something and now he feels like you might do it too.
when he talks to you about it dont get so defensive because then he might think your guilty of somethingI have an issue that I need advice on about trust. I've been with my bf for close to 2 yrs now and this?
He is playing games with you. He is probably the one who has done something distrustful. I would back off, way off, of the relationship until he decides to come forward with whatever he is talking about.
Make him come to you, act offended that he would even suggest such a thing. If he doesn't pursue you, then you know he is just making excuses to find a way out.
I have trust issues...i need advice?
in my past relationship of 3 years i had my feelings hurt alot and i had alot of issues trusting my x...that is affecting me now in my current relationship wit my boyfriend of 6 months...i always have negative thoughts and thinking im always gona get hurt...im in love with him, he's really like my perfect kind of guy...i dnt want my trusting issues to affect our relationship...can u give me some advice on how i can control this...thanks:)I have trust issues...i need advice?
First remember to leave your ex to the past. It sound like your current boyfriend has never given you a reason not to trust him. As hard as it sounds, sometimes it is worth it to trust with all your heart. My ex lied to me in so many ways, but to move on I had to trust again. Love is being honest, trusting and always being able to talk. I have trust issues...i need advice?
I had the same problem. It was really hard to control myself and I actually made a fool of myself in front of one of my bf female friends. He told me how silly I was an assured me that he loved me and was not interested in anyone else. That made me feel much better, but I still have issues and i'm taking it one day at a time.
You should trust him..., and.., if he hurts you, it wasn't your fault. You did the right thing in the relationship. Besides, your mistrust is not going to keep him faithful.
I wish you both all the best!
you've got to remember this guy isn't the person that hurt you so try to trust him in my book trust isn't earned it is tested so if he is ur perfect guy give him a chance
if im honest there isnt really a way that you can control this. When youve been hurt before you really dont want it to happen again, because a broken heart is the worst thing in the world. Its sad that your ex betrayed you, but just remember that your current bf isnt your ex. Eventually your trust issues will push him too far, to the point where he will think ';what the heck, she thinks im cheating and she keeps accusing me of it, so i might aswell do it'; or he may leave you. I know how you feel, its hard when they go out to town with thier mates and you know that theres gonna be loads of cheap women throwing themselves at them. But just learn to accept that you cant control him or what goes on. Truth is, you wont know if he had a one night stand when he goes out or if he even just kisses them. Its a fact, YOU DONT KNOW. no-one does. so all you can do is learn to trust him and build up a bond with him. If you cant get over feelings of jealousy and trust issues or you suspect hes cheating then leave him. Men are a pain, im sorry. Most of them are the same, especially when there young.
good luck hun
First remember to leave your ex to the past. It sound like your current boyfriend has never given you a reason not to trust him. As hard as it sounds, sometimes it is worth it to trust with all your heart. My ex lied to me in so many ways, but to move on I had to trust again. Love is being honest, trusting and always being able to talk. I have trust issues...i need advice?
I had the same problem. It was really hard to control myself and I actually made a fool of myself in front of one of my bf female friends. He told me how silly I was an assured me that he loved me and was not interested in anyone else. That made me feel much better, but I still have issues and i'm taking it one day at a time.
You should trust him..., and.., if he hurts you, it wasn't your fault. You did the right thing in the relationship. Besides, your mistrust is not going to keep him faithful.
I wish you both all the best!
you've got to remember this guy isn't the person that hurt you so try to trust him in my book trust isn't earned it is tested so if he is ur perfect guy give him a chance
if im honest there isnt really a way that you can control this. When youve been hurt before you really dont want it to happen again, because a broken heart is the worst thing in the world. Its sad that your ex betrayed you, but just remember that your current bf isnt your ex. Eventually your trust issues will push him too far, to the point where he will think ';what the heck, she thinks im cheating and she keeps accusing me of it, so i might aswell do it'; or he may leave you. I know how you feel, its hard when they go out to town with thier mates and you know that theres gonna be loads of cheap women throwing themselves at them. But just learn to accept that you cant control him or what goes on. Truth is, you wont know if he had a one night stand when he goes out or if he even just kisses them. Its a fact, YOU DONT KNOW. no-one does. so all you can do is learn to trust him and build up a bond with him. If you cant get over feelings of jealousy and trust issues or you suspect hes cheating then leave him. Men are a pain, im sorry. Most of them are the same, especially when there young.
good luck hun
Please some personal experiences/advice. should i trust him around l ? and why doesnt he stick up for me?
Me and my b/f have been together 6 mos. His ex and him broke up a couple mos. before that. The baby was born about 3 weeks ago.
I went with him to bring the baby back to her home. She didnt act like she was mad. But on myspace she posted pictures of herself on his page with the baby sayin ';HAHA we aint goin nowhere'; because i had left a picture of myself on his page that said ';I love you'; so i asked him whats that about and he called her %26amp; she said ';IF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS MAD THEN TELL HER TO CALL ME'; and then she sent me messages on myspace sayin that im gonna be gone soon and dont get mad if things start changin between me and him, etc.. But when i asked my b/f could he tell her not to do this he blames it on me and says i need to stick up for myself because she is not sayin anythin bad to him just to me.. I feel as tho shes disrespecting him %26amp; me and him as a man needs to put her in her place. He didnt even correct her when she said he said that he would rather be with her.Please some personal experiences/advice. should i trust him around l ? and why doesnt he stick up for me?
That's low but he's a coward. Since there's a kid-she'll win. That's the mother of his child. If he was willin to curb her and the baby would u really want him?
I've got no kids but my mother raised me right-family first. You can choose your friends, but not your family-until there's a ring you aren't family and you will never be as important as his kid.
I went with him to bring the baby back to her home. She didnt act like she was mad. But on myspace she posted pictures of herself on his page with the baby sayin ';HAHA we aint goin nowhere'; because i had left a picture of myself on his page that said ';I love you'; so i asked him whats that about and he called her %26amp; she said ';IF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS MAD THEN TELL HER TO CALL ME'; and then she sent me messages on myspace sayin that im gonna be gone soon and dont get mad if things start changin between me and him, etc.. But when i asked my b/f could he tell her not to do this he blames it on me and says i need to stick up for myself because she is not sayin anythin bad to him just to me.. I feel as tho shes disrespecting him %26amp; me and him as a man needs to put her in her place. He didnt even correct her when she said he said that he would rather be with her.Please some personal experiences/advice. should i trust him around l ? and why doesnt he stick up for me?
That's low but he's a coward. Since there's a kid-she'll win. That's the mother of his child. If he was willin to curb her and the baby would u really want him?
I've got no kids but my mother raised me right-family first. You can choose your friends, but not your family-until there's a ring you aren't family and you will never be as important as his kid.
I Need Advice On How To Trust My G/F!?
I just started dating my new G/F over 2 weeks ago. Shes exactly 2 years younger than me, Im 23, and she's 21. I honestly cant believe how lucky I am to have met a girl like her. Shes so hot, so smart, she smells so good, and she always look so sexy at night. I cant describe how much I like her. But here comes my big problem, I have a problem! My brain and my stomach stop me from trusting her. Im also scared to fall in love with her because I dont want to be hurt! Ive had some very rocky relationships in the past, ones that were very immature, others that the girl would just lie through her teeth. Im now having major issues which I thought I had gotten over. I cant seem to trust her or believe her when she tells me she likes me, or that she would never lie to me or hurt me or cheat on me. She hasnt done anything to me to make me think otherwise. I just always get these images and thoughts of her cheating and doing stuff with other guys! Im even sorta jealous when she texts my friends.:(I Need Advice On How To Trust My G/F!?
How long have you known her? Were you friends first? If you were, chances are everything is okay. I know what it feels like to think the person you're with may be unfaithful. I've felt it a lot, but every time it was just me being paranoid. The only thing you can do is sit her down and talk to her. Explain how you're feeling and have her do the same. Make sure she's happy in the relationship, do something unexpected like take her out for icecream for no reason. Chances are, you're just reacting this way because of the relationships you've had in the past and it's no real reflection of her.I Need Advice On How To Trust My G/F!?
you need to sit down with her and talk to her.Let her know how you feel.I'm sure she will understand.After all you just started dating her 2 weeks ago.You trusting her will come in time.Don't worry about the trust right now.and don't get jealous of her when she texts you're friends.Because I'm sure she's just being nice to you're friends.But I do hope that you learn to trust her before she decides to leave you for not trusting her.good luck
1) 3 of 4 descriptions you used to tell smth about your gf were 'hot, smells good, looks sexy'. i don't think you look to this relationship seriously.
2) you know her for 2 weeks and she already knows your friends' phone numbers?... strange...
3) who talks much doesn't do much. if she keeps convincing you that she could never lie, hurt or cheat you, it doesn't mean it would be like this. i have never cheated my bf but i never told him that or anything similar
4) there are a lot of ways to check your gf. ask your friend to help you. he may meet her, talk to her, ask her not to tell you that he met her... and so on... it would be enough for the beginning
Those feelings won't make for a very good and trusting relationship. You either trust her or not. If not, then stop the relationship because it will end anyway with all your doubts. Hurting is a part of life, there is no guarantee in life that you won't get hurt. I wish you luck.
It is hard to trust people when you have been hurt in the past. But if I were you I would jump in with both feet and genuinely trust her with all you have. Sounds like you are pretty smitten with her and if she hasn't done anything to make you think she is cheating or otherwise then take it as it is and TRUST. Hard to do I know but you have to start trusting people sometime or you never will. If she ends up hurting you (which I hope she dosn't) you are going to have to try again, and keep trusting others. If you don't trust her or any other woman then not trusting will be what winds up ending your relationships.
Good Luck! Dive in with both feet and TRUST!!
Sounds like this has less to do with your girlfriend and more to do with you.
First thing -- you won't be marrying this girl, and you should be honest with yourself about this. You're young, and this is a learning experience. Keep that in perspective.
Second thing -- trusting relationships are built on way more than the fact that your partner is hot and sexy and smells great (something which can be arranged with the help of many commercially available perfumes, I might add :) )
Third thing -- if you are having trouble trusting her, there is probably a good reason. What do you know about her history? Do you think she's out of your league? Do you feel good enough, or afraid she's going to leave you?
If you answered yes to the last two questions, it means you should focus on yourself -- on building some faith and confidence in yourself. Make more female friends; broaden your horizons. Once you are confident you have choices, you won't be so worried about having to trust her. And if she does betray you (always possible), it will be easier to pick up, dust yourself off, and move on.
Good luck.
How long have you known her? Were you friends first? If you were, chances are everything is okay. I know what it feels like to think the person you're with may be unfaithful. I've felt it a lot, but every time it was just me being paranoid. The only thing you can do is sit her down and talk to her. Explain how you're feeling and have her do the same. Make sure she's happy in the relationship, do something unexpected like take her out for icecream for no reason. Chances are, you're just reacting this way because of the relationships you've had in the past and it's no real reflection of her.I Need Advice On How To Trust My G/F!?
you need to sit down with her and talk to her.Let her know how you feel.I'm sure she will understand.After all you just started dating her 2 weeks ago.You trusting her will come in time.Don't worry about the trust right now.and don't get jealous of her when she texts you're friends.Because I'm sure she's just being nice to you're friends.But I do hope that you learn to trust her before she decides to leave you for not trusting her.good luck
1) 3 of 4 descriptions you used to tell smth about your gf were 'hot, smells good, looks sexy'. i don't think you look to this relationship seriously.
2) you know her for 2 weeks and she already knows your friends' phone numbers?... strange...
3) who talks much doesn't do much. if she keeps convincing you that she could never lie, hurt or cheat you, it doesn't mean it would be like this. i have never cheated my bf but i never told him that or anything similar
4) there are a lot of ways to check your gf. ask your friend to help you. he may meet her, talk to her, ask her not to tell you that he met her... and so on... it would be enough for the beginning
Those feelings won't make for a very good and trusting relationship. You either trust her or not. If not, then stop the relationship because it will end anyway with all your doubts. Hurting is a part of life, there is no guarantee in life that you won't get hurt. I wish you luck.
It is hard to trust people when you have been hurt in the past. But if I were you I would jump in with both feet and genuinely trust her with all you have. Sounds like you are pretty smitten with her and if she hasn't done anything to make you think she is cheating or otherwise then take it as it is and TRUST. Hard to do I know but you have to start trusting people sometime or you never will. If she ends up hurting you (which I hope she dosn't) you are going to have to try again, and keep trusting others. If you don't trust her or any other woman then not trusting will be what winds up ending your relationships.
Good Luck! Dive in with both feet and TRUST!!
Sounds like this has less to do with your girlfriend and more to do with you.
First thing -- you won't be marrying this girl, and you should be honest with yourself about this. You're young, and this is a learning experience. Keep that in perspective.
Second thing -- trusting relationships are built on way more than the fact that your partner is hot and sexy and smells great (something which can be arranged with the help of many commercially available perfumes, I might add :) )
Third thing -- if you are having trouble trusting her, there is probably a good reason. What do you know about her history? Do you think she's out of your league? Do you feel good enough, or afraid she's going to leave you?
If you answered yes to the last two questions, it means you should focus on yourself -- on building some faith and confidence in yourself. Make more female friends; broaden your horizons. Once you are confident you have choices, you won't be so worried about having to trust her. And if she does betray you (always possible), it will be easier to pick up, dust yourself off, and move on.
Good luck.
I have trust issues and want advice.?
I was in a bad realtionship in the past, it was my first relationship. He was a jerk to me and treated me with no respect, I felt deep down I shouldnt trust him.
Now i'm with the most wonderful man ever. I love him with all of my being. I still feel I cannot 100% trust him though. He has truely NEVER given me a reason to not trust him ever. I have been with him for 2.5 years now. He is getting upset with me sometimes because I doubt his sincerity and am worried a little that he will end up cheating on me or something.
He swears he is not that kind of guy and he loves me with all of his heart and soul. Why cant I get over my trust issues. I feel like due to my bad ex, that I am scared I cant trust the one I love now.
I try to tell myself that my fiance is not like my ex at all and that my ex was a truely bad man, and he wont run my life.
I dont know what to do, I'm mad at myself because I doubt my fiance, and I shouldnt. How do I move past the hurt and mistrust that I endoured?I have trust issues and want advice.?
Wow...I could have written this question. I too have trust issues and it is something that you will have to work on and if your fiance really loves you he will do everything in his power to make you feel safe and secure. I think that when we have been in a bad relationship we put up the huge walls to protect ourselves, but if you are marrying him and he has made the commitment to you, then go ahead and try to let your guard down. He obviously loves you very much. Give him the benefit of the doubt, you said he never gave you reason to distrust him, so I think he has earned it. Good luck.I have trust issues and want advice.?
I have MAJOR trust issues. I am getting out of my marriage, and SLOWLY working my way into a new relationship. We are starting as friends, though, and going on from there. I try to treat each guy as an individual. It is hard sometimes, I know. But I always trust someone until they give me a reason not to. You have to remember who you are with now, and that he is NOT your ex. They are two separate people. I honestly think 2.5 years is long enough to realize this guy is worth trusting, and doesn't need to be compared to your ex.
Honey, just relax. I don't know if you have, but try explaining to your fiance what happened in your last relationship and what makes you nervous and/or scared. If he really understands what your going through and he truly loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you he will try and help you get through your issues. Just keep an open relationship and always be honest with each other. good luck chica!
You need to first resolve your mistrust issues. Is your ex the only person who has disappointed you in some way? Maybe a parent, close family member? Are you adopted. I am no shrink, but it would seem to me that your distrust issues are deep seated and you might find out that it goes far deeper than this ex. It hurts, i know that it does, but maybe you should think about speaking to someone of the professional persuasion to find out the cause of this mistrust. I do not think it is something you will be able to conquer on your own.
I know how you feel. I have this same issue due to a previous relationship.
Just remind yourself that he is NOT you ex. Remind yourself WHY you fell in love with him and WHAT about him makes you want to be with him.
The pain of your previous relationship will stay with you, but you need to always remember that you need to give fate a chance if you want to truely be happy and forget your past problems.
Now i'm with the most wonderful man ever. I love him with all of my being. I still feel I cannot 100% trust him though. He has truely NEVER given me a reason to not trust him ever. I have been with him for 2.5 years now. He is getting upset with me sometimes because I doubt his sincerity and am worried a little that he will end up cheating on me or something.
He swears he is not that kind of guy and he loves me with all of his heart and soul. Why cant I get over my trust issues. I feel like due to my bad ex, that I am scared I cant trust the one I love now.
I try to tell myself that my fiance is not like my ex at all and that my ex was a truely bad man, and he wont run my life.
I dont know what to do, I'm mad at myself because I doubt my fiance, and I shouldnt. How do I move past the hurt and mistrust that I endoured?I have trust issues and want advice.?
Wow...I could have written this question. I too have trust issues and it is something that you will have to work on and if your fiance really loves you he will do everything in his power to make you feel safe and secure. I think that when we have been in a bad relationship we put up the huge walls to protect ourselves, but if you are marrying him and he has made the commitment to you, then go ahead and try to let your guard down. He obviously loves you very much. Give him the benefit of the doubt, you said he never gave you reason to distrust him, so I think he has earned it. Good luck.I have trust issues and want advice.?
I have MAJOR trust issues. I am getting out of my marriage, and SLOWLY working my way into a new relationship. We are starting as friends, though, and going on from there. I try to treat each guy as an individual. It is hard sometimes, I know. But I always trust someone until they give me a reason not to. You have to remember who you are with now, and that he is NOT your ex. They are two separate people. I honestly think 2.5 years is long enough to realize this guy is worth trusting, and doesn't need to be compared to your ex.
Honey, just relax. I don't know if you have, but try explaining to your fiance what happened in your last relationship and what makes you nervous and/or scared. If he really understands what your going through and he truly loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you he will try and help you get through your issues. Just keep an open relationship and always be honest with each other. good luck chica!
You need to first resolve your mistrust issues. Is your ex the only person who has disappointed you in some way? Maybe a parent, close family member? Are you adopted. I am no shrink, but it would seem to me that your distrust issues are deep seated and you might find out that it goes far deeper than this ex. It hurts, i know that it does, but maybe you should think about speaking to someone of the professional persuasion to find out the cause of this mistrust. I do not think it is something you will be able to conquer on your own.
I know how you feel. I have this same issue due to a previous relationship.
Just remind yourself that he is NOT you ex. Remind yourself WHY you fell in love with him and WHAT about him makes you want to be with him.
The pain of your previous relationship will stay with you, but you need to always remember that you need to give fate a chance if you want to truely be happy and forget your past problems.
Please give me advice making my trust issues go away. please read?
We both really love each other and have been together for 10 months. We are actually waiting to finish college so we can move out together. But theres something that i really need to fix before im ready to move out and thats my trust towards her. I dont trust her at all and its sad because she's really the most honest girl ive met towards me. She wont go out on weekends unless i go, she wont go out to parties unless i go with her. I didint like the fact she drank before i met her and she only drinks if i drink with her now.
She's willing to work with me when i tell her i dont trust her, hell she even took a picture the other day to prove she was at work for me. I dont know i have a horrible feeling that she will go off and cheat on me. She doesnt hang out with any guys because of how i am. she does have co-worker friends and classmates but she wont hang out with them. I guess the only reason im like this is because shes more of an outgoing girl who can just start a conversation with anyone.I guess i feel that she will cheat or something but i have to accept who she is.
What can i do guys to really stop causing problems in my relationship?Please give me advice making my trust issues go away. please read?
.Are you mad.Heres a girl who bends over backwards to try to erase your jealous impulse.Her only friends school,work and no one else.You're a selfish,jealous and mean guy.Grow up.Please give me advice making my trust issues go away. please read?
Wow. Im sorry I am a girl but I do understand what you are going through. DO NOT make her prove anything to you like taking a pic. This is your issue and she has been very good about respecting that but it will get old for her very quick. When you start to feel that way just tell yourself that she loves you and you know it and let it go.
She's willing to work with me when i tell her i dont trust her, hell she even took a picture the other day to prove she was at work for me. I dont know i have a horrible feeling that she will go off and cheat on me. She doesnt hang out with any guys because of how i am. she does have co-worker friends and classmates but she wont hang out with them. I guess the only reason im like this is because shes more of an outgoing girl who can just start a conversation with anyone.I guess i feel that she will cheat or something but i have to accept who she is.
What can i do guys to really stop causing problems in my relationship?Please give me advice making my trust issues go away. please read?
.Are you mad.Heres a girl who bends over backwards to try to erase your jealous impulse.Her only friends school,work and no one else.You're a selfish,jealous and mean guy.Grow up.Please give me advice making my trust issues go away. please read?
Wow. Im sorry I am a girl but I do understand what you are going through. DO NOT make her prove anything to you like taking a pic. This is your issue and she has been very good about respecting that but it will get old for her very quick. When you start to feel that way just tell yourself that she loves you and you know it and let it go.
Need relationship advice. Can you trust one to not cheat?
I have been with the same person for the past 5 years. I have a son from a previous relationship who adores this man. We reccently purchased a house together. My question is can I trust him? He spends quite a bit of time with a female co-worker that he calls ';his buddy';. This woman supposedly has a finace, and yet she is never with hi. My fiance' takes her to lunch and even out for dinner and drinks. I have never met her and he doesn't want to introduce me to her. Last night he went out for a work function and did not come home until 2 in the morning. This female co-worker attended the event with him. He didn't call and his cell was turned off. It would be one thing if it was just me in this relationship, but I have a child to think about. My son considers my fiance' his father. Sorry for going on, but any advice would be welcome.Need relationship advice. Can you trust one to not cheat?
There is nothing wrong with spending time with a female companion, but staying out until 2:00AM is a little extreme. Also there is nothing wrong with going out to lunch with a friend, but this sounds like it's a little more then that. You should sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel about this. And that if he is going to keep spending so much time with her he should atleast interduce you two.Need relationship advice. Can you trust one to not cheat?
Sounds like he is hiding something. I have never been out on business until 2:00 am, unless I was traveling out of town.
Just try to explain your concerns to your fiance, see where it goes. A cheat is not someone to build a life with.
If he won't introduce you to her, that's a red flag. I would push it that you want to meet her or join them for happy hour. Maybe see if he wants to invite her over for a friendly dinner. His behavior sounds questionable.
A man is only as faithful as his options. You should confront him about this. He should not be hiding her from you and you have every right to be suspicious. If he continues to do this then you will have to seriously consider leaving him.
There is nothing wrong with spending time with a female companion, but staying out until 2:00AM is a little extreme. Also there is nothing wrong with going out to lunch with a friend, but this sounds like it's a little more then that. You should sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel about this. And that if he is going to keep spending so much time with her he should atleast interduce you two.Need relationship advice. Can you trust one to not cheat?
Sounds like he is hiding something. I have never been out on business until 2:00 am, unless I was traveling out of town.
Just try to explain your concerns to your fiance, see where it goes. A cheat is not someone to build a life with.
If he won't introduce you to her, that's a red flag. I would push it that you want to meet her or join them for happy hour. Maybe see if he wants to invite her over for a friendly dinner. His behavior sounds questionable.
A man is only as faithful as his options. You should confront him about this. He should not be hiding her from you and you have every right to be suspicious. If he continues to do this then you will have to seriously consider leaving him.
I need advice on a trust issue please....?
Okay. My husband has been given an opportunity to go to another field office and run things for a week while that boss is on vacation. This would require him to be gone for 1-2 weeks. It is not that I don't want to be alone...it is just that I honestly don't know if I trust him. Last year, my husband had an emotional affair with a co-worker....he told me he wanted a divorce 1 week before christmas. Then he changed his mind and wanted to work it out. I had ignored all the signs...his distance at home, lack of sex and the texting and phone calls. I honestly believed him when he told me they were friends. His mom told me what was going on and that he was thinking of divorcing me for her. We did manage to move past this, things seem to be fine. Now he is to leave and do what alone all evening by himself? I am worried, I thought I had moved on, but I guess I haven't. He has no wedding band on as he lost it when we were swimming at the river this summer. I don't know what to do? We are to discuss this this evening, and I don't want to piss him off. I don't know what to say...I am scared. I am mad, I have never been an unsecure person before this happened. Now I am physically ill thinking of the trip. Any advice? : (I need advice on a trust issue please....?
Is there any way that you could accompany him on this trip? If not, make a plan in advance that he will call you at a certain time during the day and/or night (say....9:15) that seems like it would occur right in the middle of any (sad) other plans. Also, let him know that if you get lonely to hear his wonderful voice you would like to be able to call him at night...say 11:00 to say good night sweet heart.
My hubby travels all the time...i call him in the evening at different times (just in-case) he never knows when i will call. But he always answers!
It is hard getting over a trust issue. If he hasn't given you any reason of late then i don't think you have anything to worry about. But I would definitely do the phone thing.
I need advice on a trust issue please....?
He needs to reassure you that this affair won't happen again with anyone. You are getting sick over worry and he has to show you that he is trustworthy or how can you go on. Whatever you need from him to get this trust back he must be willing to do after all he is the one who damaged your trust to begin with.
eventually you will have to let it go if you have forgiven him but you should tell him how you are feeling and let him know why and then tell him to go he will appreciate your honesty and probably will feel like crap for what he did do to you but you can not try to stop him from doing anything hope that helps good luck :)
whatever happens happens period...you have much reason to not trust him...dont be stupid...i think that this is something that has to be waited out because there is also a reason why he wanted to not have a divorce last christmas...people make mistakes but it is up to you to decide how many mistakes you can take
You are scared. You are mad. You don't trust him. You are hurt but happened last year. If you can't trust him a year later, you never will.
Do both of you a favor, go to couple counseling or walk away before you complicate things with more time wasted and children.
You can't make him love you. You can't make him faithful. There is NOTHING you can do except share your fears and hope he cares.
sounds like your Intuition is taking over... i would talk to him about it, but he is going to reassure that everything is going to be ok...but your intuition is still there... without trust you have nothing....good luck
Oh sweet girl. I feel ya pain. Remeber these word's I'm telling you now.
Never fight for him! If you must fight for him he was NEVER yours!!!!!!!!
Trust is a huge huge problem in many relationships expecially when there has been lies and cheating. It is his DUTY to prove to you he is trust worthy. He messed up. Do not worry about makin him angry. If he get's angry then you need to worry about if he is worth being married to. He did the dirty he needs to do the work.
No wedding band??? Not gonna make him a man of honor nor a cheater. It's what's in his heart that matters not what's on his finger. gl
You have justified worries of course, let me say that first.
But honey, he really doesn't have to go away for 2 weeks to have an affair. Might give him more of an opportunity but if he has it in his mind to have a relationship, emotional or physical with another, than no place on earth will make a hill of beans when he chooses to do so.
Also a wedding band really doesn't stop a women in today's world. 1 out of 2 I hear statistically don't give a hoot married or not.
Sorry but you are either going to have to risk the trust factor again, go with him, or feel the feel the results have made you feel.
Kim,
I know that pit-in-the-stomach feeling all to well. My best advise is to say just that, ';I don't want to piss him (you) off. I don't know what to say...I am scared. I am mad.'; and say I love you, I love what we have overcome and I'm terrified of loosing that.
Buy a ring for him to wear while hes gone (even an inexpensive temporary one).
Send text messages each day hes gone, letting him know you are thinking about him. Throw in a picture of you (even a provocative picture) that he can look at on his cell phone.
Talk each evening to say goodnight.
This will keep you on his mind while he is gone.
Every man is different but if you worry or nag too much it will only upset him and make him feel like you are accusing him of something so why not go ahead and do something.
Don't give him the excuse. Be strong and trust your man.
This is why I could never go back with someone who was thinking of cheating or cheated!!! you never get over it!!! I don't care what anybody says. It's always going to come up at one time or another. Like this story here. Perfect example. I wouldn't trust him either. But WHO wants to live like this?? Always on edge thinking he could do this to me again?? I'm sorry for your pain. But the truth is%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; it never really ever goes away. I don't know how to answer this one??
Ouch, I feel for you.
I say since he never actually cheated on you with the other woman then he's not the cheating kind. If he was he wouldn't have thought about leaving you or even have told his mother, he simply would have slept with the other woman.
You have absolutely no reason to trust that he won't wander but you're going to make yourself sick with worry if you keep it up. You have to remind yourself that he didn't actually leave which means he realized that he still loves you.
He'll more than likely be too busy with work to think about other women while he's away and he'd better check in with you every evening to reassure that he's not cheating. He put himself in this situation and if he doesn't realize that then he doesn't deserve you.
You have no control over anything but what you yourself do, not over anyone else. If someone is going to cheat they will, but you have to realise that if you have done everything you can to make a happy marriage, and it still fails, know that he is the problem, not you.
If you try to exert control, it will only push others away. The best thing you can do is stay calm and happy. People gravitate to happy people, they exude a confidence thats very attractive. If you behave this way instead of insecure your husband will not want to lose you. Insecurities push people away, happiness attracts. Just be really awesome for the next while and completely happy with yourself and he will notice.
If he is going to cheat then he will, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Concentrate on what makes you happy in life and persue it, don't let your happiness rely on your husband, only you can protect yourself from hurt.
I would however also suggest you go buy him a new wedding ring before he goes, and give it as a gift with a small love note.
i understand where you are coming from. The same type of deal happened to me and some days i feel ok, and others i am in complete questioning mode. I had to explain to my husband that i will be watching him, and i tell him that he has done this to himself. Your husband is just going to have to bite the bullet because he made you this way. If he becomes defensive just tell him this is how it will be for a while.natural facial
Is there any way that you could accompany him on this trip? If not, make a plan in advance that he will call you at a certain time during the day and/or night (say....9:15) that seems like it would occur right in the middle of any (sad) other plans. Also, let him know that if you get lonely to hear his wonderful voice you would like to be able to call him at night...say 11:00 to say good night sweet heart.
My hubby travels all the time...i call him in the evening at different times (just in-case) he never knows when i will call. But he always answers!
It is hard getting over a trust issue. If he hasn't given you any reason of late then i don't think you have anything to worry about. But I would definitely do the phone thing.
I need advice on a trust issue please....?
He needs to reassure you that this affair won't happen again with anyone. You are getting sick over worry and he has to show you that he is trustworthy or how can you go on. Whatever you need from him to get this trust back he must be willing to do after all he is the one who damaged your trust to begin with.
eventually you will have to let it go if you have forgiven him but you should tell him how you are feeling and let him know why and then tell him to go he will appreciate your honesty and probably will feel like crap for what he did do to you but you can not try to stop him from doing anything hope that helps good luck :)
whatever happens happens period...you have much reason to not trust him...dont be stupid...i think that this is something that has to be waited out because there is also a reason why he wanted to not have a divorce last christmas...people make mistakes but it is up to you to decide how many mistakes you can take
You are scared. You are mad. You don't trust him. You are hurt but happened last year. If you can't trust him a year later, you never will.
Do both of you a favor, go to couple counseling or walk away before you complicate things with more time wasted and children.
You can't make him love you. You can't make him faithful. There is NOTHING you can do except share your fears and hope he cares.
sounds like your Intuition is taking over... i would talk to him about it, but he is going to reassure that everything is going to be ok...but your intuition is still there... without trust you have nothing....good luck
Oh sweet girl. I feel ya pain. Remeber these word's I'm telling you now.
Never fight for him! If you must fight for him he was NEVER yours!!!!!!!!
Trust is a huge huge problem in many relationships expecially when there has been lies and cheating. It is his DUTY to prove to you he is trust worthy. He messed up. Do not worry about makin him angry. If he get's angry then you need to worry about if he is worth being married to. He did the dirty he needs to do the work.
No wedding band??? Not gonna make him a man of honor nor a cheater. It's what's in his heart that matters not what's on his finger. gl
You have justified worries of course, let me say that first.
But honey, he really doesn't have to go away for 2 weeks to have an affair. Might give him more of an opportunity but if he has it in his mind to have a relationship, emotional or physical with another, than no place on earth will make a hill of beans when he chooses to do so.
Also a wedding band really doesn't stop a women in today's world. 1 out of 2 I hear statistically don't give a hoot married or not.
Sorry but you are either going to have to risk the trust factor again, go with him, or feel the feel the results have made you feel.
Kim,
I know that pit-in-the-stomach feeling all to well. My best advise is to say just that, ';I don't want to piss him (you) off. I don't know what to say...I am scared. I am mad.'; and say I love you, I love what we have overcome and I'm terrified of loosing that.
Buy a ring for him to wear while hes gone (even an inexpensive temporary one).
Send text messages each day hes gone, letting him know you are thinking about him. Throw in a picture of you (even a provocative picture) that he can look at on his cell phone.
Talk each evening to say goodnight.
This will keep you on his mind while he is gone.
Every man is different but if you worry or nag too much it will only upset him and make him feel like you are accusing him of something so why not go ahead and do something.
Don't give him the excuse. Be strong and trust your man.
This is why I could never go back with someone who was thinking of cheating or cheated!!! you never get over it!!! I don't care what anybody says. It's always going to come up at one time or another. Like this story here. Perfect example. I wouldn't trust him either. But WHO wants to live like this?? Always on edge thinking he could do this to me again?? I'm sorry for your pain. But the truth is%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; it never really ever goes away. I don't know how to answer this one??
Ouch, I feel for you.
I say since he never actually cheated on you with the other woman then he's not the cheating kind. If he was he wouldn't have thought about leaving you or even have told his mother, he simply would have slept with the other woman.
You have absolutely no reason to trust that he won't wander but you're going to make yourself sick with worry if you keep it up. You have to remind yourself that he didn't actually leave which means he realized that he still loves you.
He'll more than likely be too busy with work to think about other women while he's away and he'd better check in with you every evening to reassure that he's not cheating. He put himself in this situation and if he doesn't realize that then he doesn't deserve you.
You have no control over anything but what you yourself do, not over anyone else. If someone is going to cheat they will, but you have to realise that if you have done everything you can to make a happy marriage, and it still fails, know that he is the problem, not you.
If you try to exert control, it will only push others away. The best thing you can do is stay calm and happy. People gravitate to happy people, they exude a confidence thats very attractive. If you behave this way instead of insecure your husband will not want to lose you. Insecurities push people away, happiness attracts. Just be really awesome for the next while and completely happy with yourself and he will notice.
If he is going to cheat then he will, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Concentrate on what makes you happy in life and persue it, don't let your happiness rely on your husband, only you can protect yourself from hurt.
I would however also suggest you go buy him a new wedding ring before he goes, and give it as a gift with a small love note.
i understand where you are coming from. The same type of deal happened to me and some days i feel ok, and others i am in complete questioning mode. I had to explain to my husband that i will be watching him, and i tell him that he has done this to himself. Your husband is just going to have to bite the bullet because he made you this way. If he becomes defensive just tell him this is how it will be for a while.
Need some advice on a trust violation?
I accidently opened up my bf's employment offer letter he saved on his computer when I was using his computer. Now he wants to end everything because it was a HUGE trust violation for him. Is he being unreasonable? It was a accident and a piece of paper. What do you think?Need some advice on a trust violation?
A few things come to mind on this:
First, has this issue come up before? Was this the first time he's felt like you were ';snooping?'; If so, then his reaction may be slightly justified.
Second, if this is the first time this type of thing has happened, it sounds like he's being a little unreasonable. But that may be because there's more to the story that he's not telling you. Otherwise, why would he care if you took a peek at the letter? Shouldnt that be something you should know anyway?
Third, if the first two thoughts dont apply, then maybe he's sensitive to the situation because of a bad past relationship experience. Maybe an ex-girlfriend was a super-snoop and that just turned him off and that's why he overreacted to this.
BUT, without having the benefit to the answers to those questions, my gut reaction is that he's got something to hide. There's no other reason to overreact to the point of ending the relationship over something so insignificant.Need some advice on a trust violation?
I think its a good thing you opened the letter when you did. I mean be for ya'll got married. How mad did he get...he put his hands on you then you know the relationship isn't bout s*** i mean worth it. Give him some time and space until this thing blows over. Shouldn't exceed a week. If it doesn't you know somethings wrong.
I believe he's over reacting. However, in his mind, it may lead to you snooping and finding things he finds very personal (i.e. a pic of an old girlfriend, a journal entry, etc.) and there in lies the trust violation. You probably already told him it was an accident. Ask him what you can do to get his trust back and try to be super sweet to him and let him win arguments for the next little while. Best of luck!
he needs to chill out ... it was an accident...
I kept thinking about this, %26amp; I can't help but think that there is more to this story. People rarely do something like this without something happening in the past. Has he been acting funny recently? (Like he was seeing someone else type funny.) Maybe he was looking for a reason to dump you %26amp; this was just his opportunity. Was the letter opening an accident or an ';accident';? Be honest with yourself in this case. If you have a history for extreme snooping then his anger wasn't totally unjustified.
However, if this is one of the times where someone really did do something by accident, then you're better off without him. I just can't shake the feeling that there's more to this that you aren't telling us.
A few things come to mind on this:
First, has this issue come up before? Was this the first time he's felt like you were ';snooping?'; If so, then his reaction may be slightly justified.
Second, if this is the first time this type of thing has happened, it sounds like he's being a little unreasonable. But that may be because there's more to the story that he's not telling you. Otherwise, why would he care if you took a peek at the letter? Shouldnt that be something you should know anyway?
Third, if the first two thoughts dont apply, then maybe he's sensitive to the situation because of a bad past relationship experience. Maybe an ex-girlfriend was a super-snoop and that just turned him off and that's why he overreacted to this.
BUT, without having the benefit to the answers to those questions, my gut reaction is that he's got something to hide. There's no other reason to overreact to the point of ending the relationship over something so insignificant.Need some advice on a trust violation?
I think its a good thing you opened the letter when you did. I mean be for ya'll got married. How mad did he get...he put his hands on you then you know the relationship isn't bout s*** i mean worth it. Give him some time and space until this thing blows over. Shouldn't exceed a week. If it doesn't you know somethings wrong.
I believe he's over reacting. However, in his mind, it may lead to you snooping and finding things he finds very personal (i.e. a pic of an old girlfriend, a journal entry, etc.) and there in lies the trust violation. You probably already told him it was an accident. Ask him what you can do to get his trust back and try to be super sweet to him and let him win arguments for the next little while. Best of luck!
he needs to chill out ... it was an accident...
I kept thinking about this, %26amp; I can't help but think that there is more to this story. People rarely do something like this without something happening in the past. Has he been acting funny recently? (Like he was seeing someone else type funny.) Maybe he was looking for a reason to dump you %26amp; this was just his opportunity. Was the letter opening an accident or an ';accident';? Be honest with yourself in this case. If you have a history for extreme snooping then his anger wasn't totally unjustified.
However, if this is one of the times where someone really did do something by accident, then you're better off without him. I just can't shake the feeling that there's more to this that you aren't telling us.
Need some advice on a trust violation?
I accidently opened up my bf's employment offer letter he saved on his computer when I was using his computer. Now he wants to end everything because it was a HUGE trust violation for him. Is he being unreasonable? It was a accident and a piece of paper. What do you think?Need some advice on a trust violation?
A few things come to mind on this:
First, has this issue come up before? Was this the first time he's felt like you were ';snooping?'; If so, then his reaction may be slightly justified.
Second, if this is the first time this type of thing has happened, it sounds like he's being a little unreasonable. But that may be because there's more to the story that he's not telling you. Otherwise, why would he care if you took a peek at the letter? Shouldnt that be something you should know anyway?
Third, if the first two thoughts dont apply, then maybe he's sensitive to the situation because of a bad past relationship experience. Maybe an ex-girlfriend was a super-snoop and that just turned him off and that's why he overreacted to this.
BUT, without having the benefit to the answers to those questions, my gut reaction is that he's got something to hide. There's no other reason to overreact to the point of ending the relationship over something so insignificant.Need some advice on a trust violation?
I think its a good thing you opened the letter when you did. I mean be for ya'll got married. How mad did he get...he put his hands on you then you know the relationship isn't bout s*** i mean worth it. Give him some time and space until this thing blows over. Shouldn't exceed a week. If it doesn't you know somethings wrong.
I believe he's over reacting. However, in his mind, it may lead to you snooping and finding things he finds very personal (i.e. a pic of an old girlfriend, a journal entry, etc.) and there in lies the trust violation. You probably already told him it was an accident. Ask him what you can do to get his trust back and try to be super sweet to him and let him win arguments for the next little while. Best of luck!
he needs to chill out ... it was an accident...
I kept thinking about this, %26amp; I can't help but think that there is more to this story. People rarely do something like this without something happening in the past. Has he been acting funny recently? (Like he was seeing someone else type funny.) Maybe he was looking for a reason to dump you %26amp; this was just his opportunity. Was the letter opening an accident or an ';accident';? Be honest with yourself in this case. If you have a history for extreme snooping then his anger wasn't totally unjustified.
However, if this is one of the times where someone really did do something by accident, then you're better off without him. I just can't shake the feeling that there's more to this that you aren't telling us.
A few things come to mind on this:
First, has this issue come up before? Was this the first time he's felt like you were ';snooping?'; If so, then his reaction may be slightly justified.
Second, if this is the first time this type of thing has happened, it sounds like he's being a little unreasonable. But that may be because there's more to the story that he's not telling you. Otherwise, why would he care if you took a peek at the letter? Shouldnt that be something you should know anyway?
Third, if the first two thoughts dont apply, then maybe he's sensitive to the situation because of a bad past relationship experience. Maybe an ex-girlfriend was a super-snoop and that just turned him off and that's why he overreacted to this.
BUT, without having the benefit to the answers to those questions, my gut reaction is that he's got something to hide. There's no other reason to overreact to the point of ending the relationship over something so insignificant.Need some advice on a trust violation?
I think its a good thing you opened the letter when you did. I mean be for ya'll got married. How mad did he get...he put his hands on you then you know the relationship isn't bout s*** i mean worth it. Give him some time and space until this thing blows over. Shouldn't exceed a week. If it doesn't you know somethings wrong.
I believe he's over reacting. However, in his mind, it may lead to you snooping and finding things he finds very personal (i.e. a pic of an old girlfriend, a journal entry, etc.) and there in lies the trust violation. You probably already told him it was an accident. Ask him what you can do to get his trust back and try to be super sweet to him and let him win arguments for the next little while. Best of luck!
he needs to chill out ... it was an accident...
I kept thinking about this, %26amp; I can't help but think that there is more to this story. People rarely do something like this without something happening in the past. Has he been acting funny recently? (Like he was seeing someone else type funny.) Maybe he was looking for a reason to dump you %26amp; this was just his opportunity. Was the letter opening an accident or an ';accident';? Be honest with yourself in this case. If you have a history for extreme snooping then his anger wasn't totally unjustified.
However, if this is one of the times where someone really did do something by accident, then you're better off without him. I just can't shake the feeling that there's more to this that you aren't telling us.
Need advice on complicated trust situation?
Quick rundown:
.Our marriage was shaky for a long time (each felt lonely)
.We have two kids, 4 and 6
.10 years ago I sent several emails to an escort service, asking about the process, etc ( when, where, how much etc )
.My wife found the emails. I felt sorry, embarrassed, I obviously stopped the BS.
.Now about 8 months ago I found my wife was texting a neighbour guy
. When confronted, she said it was just a friend and that it was about a business she wanted to start.
. That she didn't tell me because she thought I didn't like the business idea.
. I said that was BS, got really mad, and she said ';ok, started as a business thing, but we became friends, but there is nothing going on';.
. Again I didn't believe that and told her ';this is your last chance to tell the truth, I ll get the SMS records from the phone company';.
. Then she said, no no don't do that, ok there were only a few inappropriate messages ( sex stuff, that ';started innocent, and it got out of hand'; ).
.They had this relationship for about 2.5 months, texting constantly all day.
. After confronting her, we had a big argument, blow up, whatever you call it. I felt devastated, humiliated, etc
.That night though I calmed down, said that I would forgive her, that I understood the feeling of being wanted, and that It could ve very well have been me on her shoes.
. I also told her that I was relieved that that was it ( just messages ), and that this was a great opportunity for us to get together again, get close to each other, and work on our marriage.
. After that I went to the guy's house, and told him to leave my family alone. ( the guy lives 4 houses down, this fact alone prevents me from forgetting )
. A week later, I find out she is still sending this guy messages through Facebook, and obviously concealing them from me.
. I confronted her, and she said '; I don't know why I am doing this, I have low self esteem issues, and after you went to his house I felt he would hate me, and I felt that I still had to message, and be nice, and still be liked';. All of which I thought was really fucked up if true, but who am I to judge what is happening in her head. I was personally dumbfounded, in disbelief, I could not believe her poor judgement.
. For the next month and a half I was very depressed, and we were on shaky ground, but I still wanted to keep our marriage together.
. I completely lost trust in her, and got really paranoid about what else I didn't know. Felt that my life was a complete lie.
. In the meantime she was on the phone with her friends and family, trashing me ( ';he is so selfish, he is paranoid that I ll be talking to my friends about stuff I shouldn't ( our personal problems ), or that I ll be talking crap about him to my family, he is like a child, he needs to grow up...'; etc )
. I caught one of this conversations with her mother, and that just sent me to a really deep black hole, which I am still not out of.
. My mental state has changed completely, my work is not the same, I am certainly depressed, very angry, resentful. ( 8 months after )
. I still want to keep the family together, and she says that she does too.
. My mind though is really playing tricks on me, and even though I want to let all that stuff go, and move forward, and be positive; my thoughts don't quite let me. I keep thinking I should distrust her completely. That she ll never be there for me if I need her. That she has no repect whatsoever for me, etc etc etc. It makes my day to day life miserable to say the least.
Can you please comment on this, and give me advice ?
ThanksNeed advice on complicated trust situation?
You two need couples counseling %26amp; fast.
If this keeps up I see either you or her leaving the marriage.Need advice on complicated trust situation?
Therapy, both of you, separately and jointly. NOW.
To be honest with you, This kind of woman that can not control her behavior is unreliable and unstable and I would start a new life away from her if I were you.
Try counseling!
You guys need counseling if both of you are that lonely inside of a relationship.
you def. have a very valid reason to be so upset..demand either she stop the contact with him or she move herself on in with him...she can't help you fix your marriage if she's focused on someone else....
I think your wife talks a lot but don't act much. She wants to keep the marriage together but will keep a 'relationship' behind your back, bad mouth you to her mother etc. Seriously, can you sit down and each write down what you want to change in your marriage, how things should be, what's acceptable what's not and both agree to change. No efforts...no marriage, that's where you're at.
..and like everyone said, invest in counseling.
Wow. I think if you want to keep the marriage together you have to move. I know it sounds extreme, but big decisions call for big actions. She's already formed a bond with this guy and that's going to be hard to break with him being 4 houses down. You don't trust her, she doesn't trust you. Get a therapist and work on this with your wife. You'll have to set up ground rules that you're both comfortable with and follow them to a T. It's not going to be easy but people have gotten over worse.
boss, it is very weak situation there. try couple therapy. if you both are willing there tons of articles on web that you should read together. AT the end of the day, it up to both of you. Do not give up.
I have a one for normal situations but this one is really a big one. I wonder how she can even think like this. you have two kids. I would say go away for few days on vacation. leave kids with grand parents. take one week off to discuss and build back the days you have been happy.
.Our marriage was shaky for a long time (each felt lonely)
.We have two kids, 4 and 6
.10 years ago I sent several emails to an escort service, asking about the process, etc ( when, where, how much etc )
.My wife found the emails. I felt sorry, embarrassed, I obviously stopped the BS.
.Now about 8 months ago I found my wife was texting a neighbour guy
. When confronted, she said it was just a friend and that it was about a business she wanted to start.
. That she didn't tell me because she thought I didn't like the business idea.
. I said that was BS, got really mad, and she said ';ok, started as a business thing, but we became friends, but there is nothing going on';.
. Again I didn't believe that and told her ';this is your last chance to tell the truth, I ll get the SMS records from the phone company';.
. Then she said, no no don't do that, ok there were only a few inappropriate messages ( sex stuff, that ';started innocent, and it got out of hand'; ).
.They had this relationship for about 2.5 months, texting constantly all day.
. After confronting her, we had a big argument, blow up, whatever you call it. I felt devastated, humiliated, etc
.That night though I calmed down, said that I would forgive her, that I understood the feeling of being wanted, and that It could ve very well have been me on her shoes.
. I also told her that I was relieved that that was it ( just messages ), and that this was a great opportunity for us to get together again, get close to each other, and work on our marriage.
. After that I went to the guy's house, and told him to leave my family alone. ( the guy lives 4 houses down, this fact alone prevents me from forgetting )
. A week later, I find out she is still sending this guy messages through Facebook, and obviously concealing them from me.
. I confronted her, and she said '; I don't know why I am doing this, I have low self esteem issues, and after you went to his house I felt he would hate me, and I felt that I still had to message, and be nice, and still be liked';. All of which I thought was really fucked up if true, but who am I to judge what is happening in her head. I was personally dumbfounded, in disbelief, I could not believe her poor judgement.
. For the next month and a half I was very depressed, and we were on shaky ground, but I still wanted to keep our marriage together.
. I completely lost trust in her, and got really paranoid about what else I didn't know. Felt that my life was a complete lie.
. In the meantime she was on the phone with her friends and family, trashing me ( ';he is so selfish, he is paranoid that I ll be talking to my friends about stuff I shouldn't ( our personal problems ), or that I ll be talking crap about him to my family, he is like a child, he needs to grow up...'; etc )
. I caught one of this conversations with her mother, and that just sent me to a really deep black hole, which I am still not out of.
. My mental state has changed completely, my work is not the same, I am certainly depressed, very angry, resentful. ( 8 months after )
. I still want to keep the family together, and she says that she does too.
. My mind though is really playing tricks on me, and even though I want to let all that stuff go, and move forward, and be positive; my thoughts don't quite let me. I keep thinking I should distrust her completely. That she ll never be there for me if I need her. That she has no repect whatsoever for me, etc etc etc. It makes my day to day life miserable to say the least.
Can you please comment on this, and give me advice ?
ThanksNeed advice on complicated trust situation?
You two need couples counseling %26amp; fast.
If this keeps up I see either you or her leaving the marriage.Need advice on complicated trust situation?
Therapy, both of you, separately and jointly. NOW.
To be honest with you, This kind of woman that can not control her behavior is unreliable and unstable and I would start a new life away from her if I were you.
Try counseling!
You guys need counseling if both of you are that lonely inside of a relationship.
you def. have a very valid reason to be so upset..demand either she stop the contact with him or she move herself on in with him...she can't help you fix your marriage if she's focused on someone else....
I think your wife talks a lot but don't act much. She wants to keep the marriage together but will keep a 'relationship' behind your back, bad mouth you to her mother etc. Seriously, can you sit down and each write down what you want to change in your marriage, how things should be, what's acceptable what's not and both agree to change. No efforts...no marriage, that's where you're at.
..and like everyone said, invest in counseling.
Wow. I think if you want to keep the marriage together you have to move. I know it sounds extreme, but big decisions call for big actions. She's already formed a bond with this guy and that's going to be hard to break with him being 4 houses down. You don't trust her, she doesn't trust you. Get a therapist and work on this with your wife. You'll have to set up ground rules that you're both comfortable with and follow them to a T. It's not going to be easy but people have gotten over worse.
boss, it is very weak situation there. try couple therapy. if you both are willing there tons of articles on web that you should read together. AT the end of the day, it up to both of you. Do not give up.
I have a one for normal situations but this one is really a big one. I wonder how she can even think like this. you have two kids. I would say go away for few days on vacation. leave kids with grand parents. take one week off to discuss and build back the days you have been happy.
Need advice please about trust!?
Ok, so my husband has told me more than once that he has never been married before me. I have no reason not to believe him, but nevertheless I worry about it. So, my question is, is should I go through all of his papers searching for evidence that he was married? I mean, I looked through some already and all of his tax stuff, etc, said he was single so yeah. I know I wouldn't like it if I told someone something and they went through all my papers and stuff anyway. What would be the Christian response to this?
P.S. I don't want to look through his papers, it's like an OCD thing.Need advice please about trust!?
you need counseling
if you want to stay married stay off the religious ';sauce'; and seek professional counseling, you have significant issuesNeed advice please about trust!?
You really need to get some help with this or you are going to screw up a good thing.
Love and blessings Don
I'm sorry but that sounds psycho!
You should be able to trust your husband. I married young so I understand the immature jealousy that comes and goes but if you are that insecure than you may need help. That is a very unhealthy amount of self-esteem and trust you are displaying.
This is Satan trying to create mistrust between you and your husband. Keep your faith strong.
If you are not a Scientologist get on some meds, if you are a Scientologist then get stronger vitamins!
sure
You have a mental problem, seek professional help.
...Poor guy.
hi...
have you asked yourself why you're worried about it? i mean, has he ever given you a reason to suspect that he's lying to you? that's such a serious thing to lie about to your spouse, that unless you have reason to believe otherwise, you should rely on love and trust above your own internal suspicions. it's so hurtful (to both of you) to focus on something negative like this. good luck to you :)
thats just weird, sorry. stop being so paranoid before you ruin your marriage.
P.S. I don't want to look through his papers, it's like an OCD thing.Need advice please about trust!?
you need counseling
if you want to stay married stay off the religious ';sauce'; and seek professional counseling, you have significant issuesNeed advice please about trust!?
You really need to get some help with this or you are going to screw up a good thing.
Love and blessings Don
I'm sorry but that sounds psycho!
You should be able to trust your husband. I married young so I understand the immature jealousy that comes and goes but if you are that insecure than you may need help. That is a very unhealthy amount of self-esteem and trust you are displaying.
This is Satan trying to create mistrust between you and your husband. Keep your faith strong.
If you are not a Scientologist get on some meds, if you are a Scientologist then get stronger vitamins!
sure
You have a mental problem, seek professional help.
...Poor guy.
hi...
have you asked yourself why you're worried about it? i mean, has he ever given you a reason to suspect that he's lying to you? that's such a serious thing to lie about to your spouse, that unless you have reason to believe otherwise, you should rely on love and trust above your own internal suspicions. it's so hurtful (to both of you) to focus on something negative like this. good luck to you :)
thats just weird, sorry. stop being so paranoid before you ruin your marriage.
Relationship advice... should i trust my girlfriend?
so heres the problem....
me and my girl have been seeing each other now for just over a year, we met at our previous jobs. she started a new job in september and there was one guy she worked with she used to always mention but then quickly change the subject if i asked anything about him.
around the same time as her getting the new job, we stopped having sex. she seemed to lose interest a bit in me, and although we had sex a few times, it felt like her heart wasnt really into it.
about 6 weeks into her new job, she got a text at 7am. i thought to myself who the hell is texting her at this time so when she showered i read her texts... this was the first time i had ever done this to anyone. on the phone, i found loads and loads of messages from this guy... of a flirty nature amd to which she was blatantly replying.
so the next day, i asked her about him. she said yes, he's interested in me, he tried it on one night we were out and thats all. the problem is, after that night, she'd been out another time for more drinks with him... it was with one other work person so they werent alone but she told me it made her feel really uncomfortable and my view is how can it have made her feel that uncomfortable if shes still going out for drinks with him? but i believed her. she assured me she only wanted friendship from the guy and nothing else, so i asked her to make it crystal clear to the guy that she's not interested which she did do (or so she says anyway)
a few weeks after that and fast forward to now... i went online on her computer and she was still logged into facebook.. i shouldnt have done it but i checked her messages... at the end of september, way before the time he supposedly first tried it on with her, he messaged her saying he's interested, curious and wants to know everything about her... to which she replied ';lets get to know each other then';... and then all the above happened...
i really want to trust her, she's told me she loves me and wants to be with me and i do believe her... but all of this is weighing heavily on my mind... it does seem a bit suspisicous to me... very in fact. advice please!!!Relationship advice... should i trust my girlfriend?
no, dont tell him to back off, tell her to f**k off! Its her whos in control at the end of the day and she has ZERO respect for you to carry on doing what shes doing. You dont deserve it and its not about trusting her its about her having the descency to respect you as a partner.Relationship advice... should i trust my girlfriend?
you need to tell him to back off.
me and my girl have been seeing each other now for just over a year, we met at our previous jobs. she started a new job in september and there was one guy she worked with she used to always mention but then quickly change the subject if i asked anything about him.
around the same time as her getting the new job, we stopped having sex. she seemed to lose interest a bit in me, and although we had sex a few times, it felt like her heart wasnt really into it.
about 6 weeks into her new job, she got a text at 7am. i thought to myself who the hell is texting her at this time so when she showered i read her texts... this was the first time i had ever done this to anyone. on the phone, i found loads and loads of messages from this guy... of a flirty nature amd to which she was blatantly replying.
so the next day, i asked her about him. she said yes, he's interested in me, he tried it on one night we were out and thats all. the problem is, after that night, she'd been out another time for more drinks with him... it was with one other work person so they werent alone but she told me it made her feel really uncomfortable and my view is how can it have made her feel that uncomfortable if shes still going out for drinks with him? but i believed her. she assured me she only wanted friendship from the guy and nothing else, so i asked her to make it crystal clear to the guy that she's not interested which she did do (or so she says anyway)
a few weeks after that and fast forward to now... i went online on her computer and she was still logged into facebook.. i shouldnt have done it but i checked her messages... at the end of september, way before the time he supposedly first tried it on with her, he messaged her saying he's interested, curious and wants to know everything about her... to which she replied ';lets get to know each other then';... and then all the above happened...
i really want to trust her, she's told me she loves me and wants to be with me and i do believe her... but all of this is weighing heavily on my mind... it does seem a bit suspisicous to me... very in fact. advice please!!!Relationship advice... should i trust my girlfriend?
no, dont tell him to back off, tell her to f**k off! Its her whos in control at the end of the day and she has ZERO respect for you to carry on doing what shes doing. You dont deserve it and its not about trusting her its about her having the descency to respect you as a partner.Relationship advice... should i trust my girlfriend?
you need to tell him to back off.
Any advice for major trust issues?
So i'm 15 years old and i've been going out with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. So obviously I REALLY REALLY like him. But sometimes i feel like i've lost who i am in the time we've been together. I have terrible trust issues. I put up walls with everyone. I just assume they're going to leave me in the end. I'm open but i just don't trust. I don't know how to. It drives people crazy. But most of all, it gets in the way with my boyfriend. It frustrates him so much. He's done stuff to loose my trust which only makes matters worse, but i have a whole lot of trouble believing that he won't leave. Also, I have a weird way of showing my love. I don't have that special sensitive side for my boyfriend that goes along with whatever makes him happy, i'm just my stubborn self. I do show my love though, in my own ways. I'm starting to hate myself for this and my trust issues. I want to trust but i just can't... if you have any thing that could help please say it!Any advice for major trust issues?
Another typical Singles %26amp; Dating question... please stay out the Marriage %26amp; Divorce section, which is not for teenager problems, unless it's got to do with the marriage/divorce of their parents.Any advice for major trust issues?
You are in the wrong category. But you are expecting the impossible. You said the guy did things to lose your trust - therefore, he doesn't deserve your trust. Don't fight against common sense. In fact, at age 15, you are probably smart NOT to be widely trusting.
Don't worry about whether or not ';he will stay';. You're 15 - you have a lot of living to do before you will find your life partner. Just enjoy life, and don't get so gosh-awful serious at this stage of your life.
I don't know anyone that stayed with the person they were dating at 15. Not me, not my husband, not anyone I know. This relationship will not last. Just being honest. You have to go through a few of them before you really figure it out. Everyone changes and grows in different ways. You will and so you will your boyfriend. Stop obsessing and just focus on school. The guys come and go. What you are doing now with your school work with have an impact on the rest of your life.natural facial
Another typical Singles %26amp; Dating question... please stay out the Marriage %26amp; Divorce section, which is not for teenager problems, unless it's got to do with the marriage/divorce of their parents.Any advice for major trust issues?
You are in the wrong category. But you are expecting the impossible. You said the guy did things to lose your trust - therefore, he doesn't deserve your trust. Don't fight against common sense. In fact, at age 15, you are probably smart NOT to be widely trusting.
Don't worry about whether or not ';he will stay';. You're 15 - you have a lot of living to do before you will find your life partner. Just enjoy life, and don't get so gosh-awful serious at this stage of your life.
I don't know anyone that stayed with the person they were dating at 15. Not me, not my husband, not anyone I know. This relationship will not last. Just being honest. You have to go through a few of them before you really figure it out. Everyone changes and grows in different ways. You will and so you will your boyfriend. Stop obsessing and just focus on school. The guys come and go. What you are doing now with your school work with have an impact on the rest of your life.
Do you have trust issues?i need advice?
i know i do maybe because my last relationship didnt go so well and i trusted him now its hard to trust my new boyfriend even though i think he really likes me.
what can i do to have a little more trust in him?
i feel like if i believe what he tells me im just going to end up getting hurt %26amp; i dont know how i can deal with that bc i have never felt like this for anyone else....Do you have trust issues?i need advice?
List all of the reasons you currently don't trust the person.
Rate the items on the list on a 1-3 scale of how severe they were (see tips for examples of severity). This is your most important consideration. Even one item in the major category can destroy a friendship.
Review the length of your list. If it only has one or two minor-medium offenses, then perhaps working on regaining your trust is a good idea. On the other hand, if the list is long then perhaps you need to reconsider trusting the person, at least for the time being.
Determine how long ago the last offense occurred. Events that happened a long time ago should more than likely be forgiven. For example if your boyfriend or girlfriend was stolen 3-5 years ago, perhaps it's time to begin the healing process and forgive them.
[edit] Regaining Trust
Create a list of why you want the friendship to go back the way it was. It doesn't have to be a large list, nor does it have to be on paper (however though it is good at times to have it on paper. This way in case you confuse some facts, you can look at the list and see what was wrong or not). A couple of ideas as to why you want to keep the relationship is good enough.
Realize that the friendship will never be exactly the same. It may become stronger because of your ability to move forward, stay the same or it may become worse.
Speak with the person who has offended you. Be honest about what you feel and what you need from the other person to move forward. It might be a good idea at this stage to discuss the lists that you have drawn up in the previous sections. For example, sometimes a simple apology is all that is needed; however, a return of an item or an agreement as to when money will be paid back may also be necessary. Other times you may need the person to prove to you that you can trust them again. Allow them to and give back trust when you feel they've deserved it.
Allow yourself the time to heal. You may feel hurt for a while even after you have forgiven the other person. This is a normal part of the process and in time you will be able to move forward.
[edit] TipsExamples of minor offenses (1):
Repeated something you said, to another person, not knowing it was confidential information
Ignored you when you called his or her name
Lied once or twice
Said your boyfriend or girlfriend was ';hot';
Examples of medium offenses (2):
Repeated something you said, to another person, after you told them ';DO NOT REPEAT THIS';
Lied often
Stole a small amount of money but returned it before you even noticed it was missing
Examples of major offenses (3):
Hurts others or themselves on purpose
Steals anything from you and then denies it (the amount of the something doesn't matter, it's the denial and the idea of stealing which is in issue).
Steals anything and refuses to give it back
Cheats on his or her spouse with your spouseDo you have trust issues?i need advice?
Well dont just start trusting him full out. Let it build up. But just keep telling yourself that he isnt your ex. He deserves a chance from you he shouldnt be punished for what an ex does. But just be careful and see what happens.
just take things slow
get to know each other first
but overtime you will learn to trust again
and thats normal after a bad relationship
but remember not to be too naive and take it slow
There is risk in every relationship.
Trust is earned over time.
It is just a wait and see kind of deal.
When the decision of the head and heart conflict, listen to your heart. No point going into a relationship without a trust.
just be chill. dont always ask him questions about where hes been all day or w/e, he'll grow closer to you if u show signs that u already trust him
TRUST NO ONE!!!1
only you would know
what can i do to have a little more trust in him?
i feel like if i believe what he tells me im just going to end up getting hurt %26amp; i dont know how i can deal with that bc i have never felt like this for anyone else....Do you have trust issues?i need advice?
List all of the reasons you currently don't trust the person.
Rate the items on the list on a 1-3 scale of how severe they were (see tips for examples of severity). This is your most important consideration. Even one item in the major category can destroy a friendship.
Review the length of your list. If it only has one or two minor-medium offenses, then perhaps working on regaining your trust is a good idea. On the other hand, if the list is long then perhaps you need to reconsider trusting the person, at least for the time being.
Determine how long ago the last offense occurred. Events that happened a long time ago should more than likely be forgiven. For example if your boyfriend or girlfriend was stolen 3-5 years ago, perhaps it's time to begin the healing process and forgive them.
[edit] Regaining Trust
Create a list of why you want the friendship to go back the way it was. It doesn't have to be a large list, nor does it have to be on paper (however though it is good at times to have it on paper. This way in case you confuse some facts, you can look at the list and see what was wrong or not). A couple of ideas as to why you want to keep the relationship is good enough.
Realize that the friendship will never be exactly the same. It may become stronger because of your ability to move forward, stay the same or it may become worse.
Speak with the person who has offended you. Be honest about what you feel and what you need from the other person to move forward. It might be a good idea at this stage to discuss the lists that you have drawn up in the previous sections. For example, sometimes a simple apology is all that is needed; however, a return of an item or an agreement as to when money will be paid back may also be necessary. Other times you may need the person to prove to you that you can trust them again. Allow them to and give back trust when you feel they've deserved it.
Allow yourself the time to heal. You may feel hurt for a while even after you have forgiven the other person. This is a normal part of the process and in time you will be able to move forward.
[edit] TipsExamples of minor offenses (1):
Repeated something you said, to another person, not knowing it was confidential information
Ignored you when you called his or her name
Lied once or twice
Said your boyfriend or girlfriend was ';hot';
Examples of medium offenses (2):
Repeated something you said, to another person, after you told them ';DO NOT REPEAT THIS';
Lied often
Stole a small amount of money but returned it before you even noticed it was missing
Examples of major offenses (3):
Hurts others or themselves on purpose
Steals anything from you and then denies it (the amount of the something doesn't matter, it's the denial and the idea of stealing which is in issue).
Steals anything and refuses to give it back
Cheats on his or her spouse with your spouseDo you have trust issues?i need advice?
Well dont just start trusting him full out. Let it build up. But just keep telling yourself that he isnt your ex. He deserves a chance from you he shouldnt be punished for what an ex does. But just be careful and see what happens.
just take things slow
get to know each other first
but overtime you will learn to trust again
and thats normal after a bad relationship
but remember not to be too naive and take it slow
There is risk in every relationship.
Trust is earned over time.
It is just a wait and see kind of deal.
When the decision of the head and heart conflict, listen to your heart. No point going into a relationship without a trust.
just be chill. dont always ask him questions about where hes been all day or w/e, he'll grow closer to you if u show signs that u already trust him
TRUST NO ONE!!!1
only you would know
Advice: How to trust again?
Long story short...
I have a 4 year old with a guy who cheated on me before I had her. We ended up breaking up when she was 1 1/2 because I couldnt trust him and suspected he was cheating on me even when he probably wasnt. This was nearly 5 years ago and I STILL get paranoid about him cheating sometimes (usually only when I PMS-y). Has anyone out there been cheated on and learned to trust that same guy again? Successfully that is.Advice: How to trust again?
Yeah, me and my boyfriend actually both cheated on each other! But with a lot of pain, tears, hard work trying to GAIN that trust back, and true love we both completely changed and we are both successfully together now and he is the love of my life.
The key to trust is forgiveness-
Life intends to not cause pain
The flowers bloom from all the rain
The storm will come and it will pass
The sun that shines, it will grow the grass
Forgive the world in which we live
We'll all find peace if we forgiveAdvice: How to trust again?
If you don't have any proof that he did it and you never never seen him, I am sure that this insecurity of your is not gonna let you be happy ever!!
Get your act together, grow, and start having confidence in him. I don't know if you ever knew this, but my advise have always been: love the man 90%....never 100%.....sorry to say this, but that 10% that you have on hold is to protect you one day if ever happens something. This 10% will help you to get up and understand that no man that failures you is worth your tears or your time...this 10% is the base of your dignity.
But, if he is a good man, give him the opportunity, obviously you guys are gonna try again, he could have gone with someone else, but he did not, so give him some credit.
Don't let the doubt steal your opportunity to have happiness.
I have a 4 year old with a guy who cheated on me before I had her. We ended up breaking up when she was 1 1/2 because I couldnt trust him and suspected he was cheating on me even when he probably wasnt. This was nearly 5 years ago and I STILL get paranoid about him cheating sometimes (usually only when I PMS-y). Has anyone out there been cheated on and learned to trust that same guy again? Successfully that is.Advice: How to trust again?
Yeah, me and my boyfriend actually both cheated on each other! But with a lot of pain, tears, hard work trying to GAIN that trust back, and true love we both completely changed and we are both successfully together now and he is the love of my life.
The key to trust is forgiveness-
Life intends to not cause pain
The flowers bloom from all the rain
The storm will come and it will pass
The sun that shines, it will grow the grass
Forgive the world in which we live
We'll all find peace if we forgiveAdvice: How to trust again?
If you don't have any proof that he did it and you never never seen him, I am sure that this insecurity of your is not gonna let you be happy ever!!
Get your act together, grow, and start having confidence in him. I don't know if you ever knew this, but my advise have always been: love the man 90%....never 100%.....sorry to say this, but that 10% that you have on hold is to protect you one day if ever happens something. This 10% will help you to get up and understand that no man that failures you is worth your tears or your time...this 10% is the base of your dignity.
But, if he is a good man, give him the opportunity, obviously you guys are gonna try again, he could have gone with someone else, but he did not, so give him some credit.
Don't let the doubt steal your opportunity to have happiness.
Need some advice... I dont trust him anymore.?
This will be a bit complicated. Since I was in relationship with this guy, I keep finding out that he checks porn sites. I keep confronting him about it, and he gets real defensive. Still its same story ill change, but he doesnt. This was the source of our constant fights. Our relationship has gone cold for years now. Its been 3 years since weve been ';together';. We still live at same place, and sadly he supports me financially. I guess its sorta like a sugar daddy situation. He put me through a good private college, and more education. He pays for everything. Im not sure if hes doing this to pay for the ';guilt'; I honestly can say that I dont love him, the problem is I get jealous everytime hes on some porn site. I dont know how im suppose to react to that. I feel like he's lookin for another guy, and he lies through his teeth. I ask him, and he says he isnt looking for anybody. What is your general sense of my situation?Need some advice... I dont trust him anymore.?
I feel... errr... do YOU not go on porn sites? *shrugs* I do. Big deal. It's just some visual stimulation. Besides, you say that you don't love him anymore, so I don't really think you should be getting jealous over this. If your relationship has really dwindled down to something financial, then... I don't know. It's your life, and I can't tell you to make him stop paying or to move out or to just stay as is. If it gets to an unbearable point, I personally would want to just separate.Need some advice... I dont trust him anymore.?
What's wrong with him looking at porn? Porn is healthy. At least he's looking at porn on his computer and not out cruising other guys. He gets defensive because you're confronting him about something that can be a bit embarrassing (think, as if you'd caught him masturbating and harassed him about it).
If anything, you should thank your lucky stars that you have a man that's taking care of you and all you have to do is go to school. What could he possibly feel guilty about? He's watching porn on his computer, in his home that he pays for?
Do you see what I'm getting at?
If anything, why don't you relax and actually take the time to watch some porn with him. It may spice up your sex life and you just might learn a thing or two about what HE likes. Stop making this seem like you're the victim. If you no longer love him, then leave him (criticize and correct, man).
Not what you want to hear? Then fix the problem because you're the only one that seems to have one.
You have a couple of options: get the hell out and get your self-respect back, even if you have to ';bite the bullet'; for a while. Or (this is weird so be forewarned): make your own porno of yourself, burn it to DVD, and surprise him with it on his computer. Ultimately it is YOU who must decide what to do, but it sounds like you are unhappy with the present situation so the only thing you can do is either change the present situation, or get out of the present situation. Good luck to you.
Nearly every single sex crime began with a porn addiction. Here's a few criminals who began with a little of what you call ';harmless'; porn and began having sex with the porn: John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking, Neil Entwhistle, and a host of others who were leading double lives.
';Sin will take you farther than you want to go, slowly but wholly taking control. Sin will leave you longer than you want to stay. Sin will cost you far more than you want to pay.'; (Hymn)
I understand what you are going through as I myself had gone through the same thing THe only thing I can say is that it is best that you either sit down with him and discuss what is bothering you and see if maybe you work it out(to be honest I don't think that it is going to happen for you). Now what I really want to say is that you need to find a job you need to save back some money get yourself on your feet and march on with life...I know that its easier said then done ...It is going to take time and if you can hold out alittle longer than you can do this...LIVE FOR YOU!I wish you the best!
netdog porn filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com
Watch with him. Try some of the positions or toys or whatever he finds facinating. Send him out, then try to pick him up like you're just meeting. Also, since you have a good education, get a job so you won't be hung up on this issue. It would bother me too if my partner constantly looked at porn although if only occassionally, it would be ok. Even though this bothers you, he's probably not going to change. Good luck.
Wow... If you get jealous, it means that you do love him... maybe a little bit..
Hey Tinkerbell, get a clue, the guy is alreading doing someone else and you should get over it and move on. There are lots of stalls in the bus station bathroom and love is right behind one of those doors for you.
You need to grow up. Porn is fantasy. You being in this guys' life is a reality. To feel 'jealous' over a fantasy is really dumb of you.
This guy has been gracious enough to help you out financially and you resent him for it? You have not touched this guy in 3 years and you're jealous? Of the internet? You really need to grow up.
Some people just like porn! It usually has nothing to do with their significant others. It doesnt mean they are looking for someon else. Maybe you are a bit insecure and that is why you are having these feelings. If this relationship is built on honesty,love and mutual respect, I dont see why you cant allow your partner this indulgence.
Honestly, I think you need to get out on your own. If you have been to a good private college there is no reason for you to depend on someone else. If you two havent been ';together for years, then there really isnt anything there except its easy for you to live off someone. You need to take responsiblilty for your life. Your life must be lonely and sad, and you are so busy checking on him that you dont have time to concentrate on your happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy, and you will never be with this guy. I am a straight female living with a guy that lies to me constantly also, and its a very sad life that I want out of. so I know how difficult it is. But the key here is that you dont love him like I love my guy, so you really should leave. You will feel so much better about yourself if you start being independant. Good luck to you and I hope you find happiness.
Well, for starters to fight over something as trivial as porn sites is an indication that your relationship is heading for the rocks. The fact that he looks at porn isn't the reason I suspect either... i think you are looking for a way out because you feel like a child (no independance... you even said it yourself, he is like a sugar daddy)
So, instead of fighting over the porn and making him feel guilty every time he looks at it (maybe there are things that stimulate him like you are unable to) tell him that you think it best if you both go your seperate ways and be sure to let him know that it is because you feel so powerless and selfish leeching off of him. You want to be independant it seems, but you just can't do it... and you are using his porn surfing as your leverage to get that ball rolling...
that's my opinion tho...
If I were the other half of your relationship, you'd have been supporting yourself or being supported by someone else years ago. But, if you're willing to be a parasite, and he's willing to be a host, so be it. But, considering that the relationship is cold, loveless, and sexless, and he pays for everything, you are totally out of line to confront him about porn. In my opinion, he SHOULD be looking for someone else. And, so should you.
Kyle, he apparently did a lot for you. If I were you, I'd save as much money as I could and begin to look around for a change in place of residence. It does not have to be a bad thing, he changed, and you are still holding on to somethings that can carry uyou through the rest of your life.
Okay, so it's setting in on you that the 'relationship is over. Things like that happen all the time. It's not like you are married.
So you know that you don't like it when a partner is looking at porn. It makes you jealous. Go out. Find someone who is similar to you in your thinking. Someone who also won't accept porn. That's bound to be out there.
You are being taken care of, but you are needing to give this guy some space. Just try to understand, this guy isn't happy with something. He obviously has something wrong with him, try to love him, in an unphysical way. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Go out and talk to other men that you find interesting.
You need to get over yourself, stop worrying about the porn because almost everybody looks at it except you
He either has fetishes which are somewhat healthy as long as what he is looking up is healthy and normal. OR he is just a loser. Move on .... grow up ... get out and face reality. Money is not the answer.
Start by getting a job. A sugar daddy situation? Darling he PAYS for everything. Let him search porn. You just said you ';honestly can say you don't love him.'; Why does he have to be introuble for searching porn? You don't love him anyway. It doesn't matter. Your jelous because you don't want anyone else to have your sugar daddy. You see, you know you got it good. Why else would you care?'; Stop using him %26amp; start paying for yourself, then you can justify being mad at him looking for porn. It's his place, his electric, his stuff, his computer, etc. Don't you think you really don't have a place to say anything? If you don't love him, why else would you be sticking around pretending to be jelous? Your using him. Now that he educated you by supporting you through school, get off your *** %26amp; get smart. Get real here. You must have a cold heart to think it's ok to justify this.
I feel... errr... do YOU not go on porn sites? *shrugs* I do. Big deal. It's just some visual stimulation. Besides, you say that you don't love him anymore, so I don't really think you should be getting jealous over this. If your relationship has really dwindled down to something financial, then... I don't know. It's your life, and I can't tell you to make him stop paying or to move out or to just stay as is. If it gets to an unbearable point, I personally would want to just separate.Need some advice... I dont trust him anymore.?
What's wrong with him looking at porn? Porn is healthy. At least he's looking at porn on his computer and not out cruising other guys. He gets defensive because you're confronting him about something that can be a bit embarrassing (think, as if you'd caught him masturbating and harassed him about it).
If anything, you should thank your lucky stars that you have a man that's taking care of you and all you have to do is go to school. What could he possibly feel guilty about? He's watching porn on his computer, in his home that he pays for?
Do you see what I'm getting at?
If anything, why don't you relax and actually take the time to watch some porn with him. It may spice up your sex life and you just might learn a thing or two about what HE likes. Stop making this seem like you're the victim. If you no longer love him, then leave him (criticize and correct, man).
Not what you want to hear? Then fix the problem because you're the only one that seems to have one.
You have a couple of options: get the hell out and get your self-respect back, even if you have to ';bite the bullet'; for a while. Or (this is weird so be forewarned): make your own porno of yourself, burn it to DVD, and surprise him with it on his computer. Ultimately it is YOU who must decide what to do, but it sounds like you are unhappy with the present situation so the only thing you can do is either change the present situation, or get out of the present situation. Good luck to you.
Nearly every single sex crime began with a porn addiction. Here's a few criminals who began with a little of what you call ';harmless'; porn and began having sex with the porn: John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking, Neil Entwhistle, and a host of others who were leading double lives.
';Sin will take you farther than you want to go, slowly but wholly taking control. Sin will leave you longer than you want to stay. Sin will cost you far more than you want to pay.'; (Hymn)
I understand what you are going through as I myself had gone through the same thing THe only thing I can say is that it is best that you either sit down with him and discuss what is bothering you and see if maybe you work it out(to be honest I don't think that it is going to happen for you). Now what I really want to say is that you need to find a job you need to save back some money get yourself on your feet and march on with life...I know that its easier said then done ...It is going to take time and if you can hold out alittle longer than you can do this...LIVE FOR YOU!I wish you the best!
netdog porn filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com
Watch with him. Try some of the positions or toys or whatever he finds facinating. Send him out, then try to pick him up like you're just meeting. Also, since you have a good education, get a job so you won't be hung up on this issue. It would bother me too if my partner constantly looked at porn although if only occassionally, it would be ok. Even though this bothers you, he's probably not going to change. Good luck.
Wow... If you get jealous, it means that you do love him... maybe a little bit..
Hey Tinkerbell, get a clue, the guy is alreading doing someone else and you should get over it and move on. There are lots of stalls in the bus station bathroom and love is right behind one of those doors for you.
You need to grow up. Porn is fantasy. You being in this guys' life is a reality. To feel 'jealous' over a fantasy is really dumb of you.
This guy has been gracious enough to help you out financially and you resent him for it? You have not touched this guy in 3 years and you're jealous? Of the internet? You really need to grow up.
Some people just like porn! It usually has nothing to do with their significant others. It doesnt mean they are looking for someon else. Maybe you are a bit insecure and that is why you are having these feelings. If this relationship is built on honesty,love and mutual respect, I dont see why you cant allow your partner this indulgence.
Honestly, I think you need to get out on your own. If you have been to a good private college there is no reason for you to depend on someone else. If you two havent been ';together for years, then there really isnt anything there except its easy for you to live off someone. You need to take responsiblilty for your life. Your life must be lonely and sad, and you are so busy checking on him that you dont have time to concentrate on your happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy, and you will never be with this guy. I am a straight female living with a guy that lies to me constantly also, and its a very sad life that I want out of. so I know how difficult it is. But the key here is that you dont love him like I love my guy, so you really should leave. You will feel so much better about yourself if you start being independant. Good luck to you and I hope you find happiness.
Well, for starters to fight over something as trivial as porn sites is an indication that your relationship is heading for the rocks. The fact that he looks at porn isn't the reason I suspect either... i think you are looking for a way out because you feel like a child (no independance... you even said it yourself, he is like a sugar daddy)
So, instead of fighting over the porn and making him feel guilty every time he looks at it (maybe there are things that stimulate him like you are unable to) tell him that you think it best if you both go your seperate ways and be sure to let him know that it is because you feel so powerless and selfish leeching off of him. You want to be independant it seems, but you just can't do it... and you are using his porn surfing as your leverage to get that ball rolling...
that's my opinion tho...
If I were the other half of your relationship, you'd have been supporting yourself or being supported by someone else years ago. But, if you're willing to be a parasite, and he's willing to be a host, so be it. But, considering that the relationship is cold, loveless, and sexless, and he pays for everything, you are totally out of line to confront him about porn. In my opinion, he SHOULD be looking for someone else. And, so should you.
Kyle, he apparently did a lot for you. If I were you, I'd save as much money as I could and begin to look around for a change in place of residence. It does not have to be a bad thing, he changed, and you are still holding on to somethings that can carry uyou through the rest of your life.
Okay, so it's setting in on you that the 'relationship is over. Things like that happen all the time. It's not like you are married.
So you know that you don't like it when a partner is looking at porn. It makes you jealous. Go out. Find someone who is similar to you in your thinking. Someone who also won't accept porn. That's bound to be out there.
You are being taken care of, but you are needing to give this guy some space. Just try to understand, this guy isn't happy with something. He obviously has something wrong with him, try to love him, in an unphysical way. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Go out and talk to other men that you find interesting.
You need to get over yourself, stop worrying about the porn because almost everybody looks at it except you
He either has fetishes which are somewhat healthy as long as what he is looking up is healthy and normal. OR he is just a loser. Move on .... grow up ... get out and face reality. Money is not the answer.
Start by getting a job. A sugar daddy situation? Darling he PAYS for everything. Let him search porn. You just said you ';honestly can say you don't love him.'; Why does he have to be introuble for searching porn? You don't love him anyway. It doesn't matter. Your jelous because you don't want anyone else to have your sugar daddy. You see, you know you got it good. Why else would you care?'; Stop using him %26amp; start paying for yourself, then you can justify being mad at him looking for porn. It's his place, his electric, his stuff, his computer, etc. Don't you think you really don't have a place to say anything? If you don't love him, why else would you be sticking around pretending to be jelous? Your using him. Now that he educated you by supporting you through school, get off your *** %26amp; get smart. Get real here. You must have a cold heart to think it's ok to justify this.
A word of advice-Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.?
be nice...or i'll spray you!!!!!!!jkA word of advice-Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.?
Hey! I watch movies too!A word of advice-Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.?
That's just nasty, I'm laughing, but it's nasty....
Ohhh, I get it now. Someone else wrote that and I thought they were talking about zombies. No one should ever trust zombies. For sure.
Women though, you gotta trust at least one.
I agree!! it would have to be a cursed vicious creature!
I hate that saying. very rude.
Hell, I wouldn't trust me either...lol
ummm... i'm just going to have to say flame thrower.
C'mon now, I trust my mother.Do you?
Hey! I watch movies too!A word of advice-Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.?
That's just nasty, I'm laughing, but it's nasty....
Ohhh, I get it now. Someone else wrote that and I thought they were talking about zombies. No one should ever trust zombies. For sure.
Women though, you gotta trust at least one.
I agree!! it would have to be a cursed vicious creature!
I hate that saying. very rude.
Hell, I wouldn't trust me either...lol
ummm... i'm just going to have to say flame thrower.
C'mon now, I trust my mother.Do you?
I need advice?? can i trust him or what?!
Okay, so theres this guy that i met about two months ago and he was like Super sweet and friendly but then after that i never saw him again but just like two days ago he started texting me (he said he got my number from his friend...) and was really nice, being all flirty and telling me how pretty i was. but then he asked me if i was a virgin and i said yes and then he changed the subject and i just forgot about it but just yesterday he asked if i wanted to lose my virginity to him and i told him that i didnt and he was just like, ';okay. sorry if i freaked you out.'; but just now he asked me if i wanted to go dirtbiking with him and his friend. i want to but im also sort of scared. i mean, hes 16 and im only 13... what if he like rapes me or something? what do you guys think i should do? i mean, hes Really nice but im worried hes just doing that so ill think hes nice and start hanging out with him? i dont know though. maybe hes just a straight-forward person? please, i really need your guys' advice... thanks so much!! :D %26lt;3I need advice?? can i trust him or what?!
I'd stay away. Its a little weird that he even asked about your virginity 鈥?even before asking you on a date. It would indicate to me that he is really only interested in you for sex
I'd stay away. Its a little weird that he even asked about your virginity 鈥?even before asking you on a date. It would indicate to me that he is really only interested in you for sex
Boyfriend advice! Should i trust him?
K. My boyfriend and i are having some trouble. We been off and on. He says that he loves me and wants to be with me. And he wants to put the ring on my finger. Should i do it or not? HELP ME!!Boyfriend advice! Should i trust him?
Go with your gut. Don't rush into this and take time to think about it. A ring on your finger is not going to make things better. I have seen several friends think that it will but it doesn't.Boyfriend advice! Should i trust him?
you have to figure out several things.
1) if he makes you feel good inside
2) if you love to be around him, make sure every time you hang out together its not a chore for you or like you feel forced to just cause your together
3) the most important thing is to make sure you love him back
if he is the one that keeps breaking it up then he probably doesn't love you
if your the one that keeps breaking it up then you probably don't want to be with him
Ok Tamara, can you see yourself living with this man for the rest of your life? That is the question!
If you're on again and off again at this point, forget it.
You have to love each other to death, can't imagine life without him.
I don't know your age but you sound young. Live and enjoy life and adventures. Once married, unless you are really in love can be awful and you'll be stuck with being a single Mom and divorcing.
Trust me dear. Think twice.
Wishing you well.
Oh my, just saw your ages, you're way too young for marriage.
Don't do it!! Please.
Julie.xx
if hasn't had sex with u. he wants to bang you. as soon as he cu'uums he is going to have amnesia and not remember saying anything like that.
if he HAS HAD SEX with you then he **could be** telling u the truth. only time will tell. don't rush into marriage. give the relationship atleast a good CONSISTENT 2yrs before being off and on and off and on. that should be an indication if this marriage will last.
i can't help you... i don't know him or you... i don't know why it was off and on but i will tell you that if you doubt whether or not you can trust your boyfriend then maybe you shouldn't be with him.
This about being on and off...is it from your side or his side.
if it is from his side, then I would rather wait a while and just date . Maybe he has a skeleton(girlfriend) in the closet.
rather wait and make sure...
If you're doubting him you don't trust him and there's probably a reason you shouldn't. So my best advice is that you shouldnt.
Answer mine? :)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Looks like you don't trust him or you wouldn't be asking this. So No, don't do it.
it only depends if you love him back
guys can't be trusted
depends...how many carats? LOL...jk. i say if the on/off starts less often, i think u will be oknatural facial
Go with your gut. Don't rush into this and take time to think about it. A ring on your finger is not going to make things better. I have seen several friends think that it will but it doesn't.Boyfriend advice! Should i trust him?
you have to figure out several things.
1) if he makes you feel good inside
2) if you love to be around him, make sure every time you hang out together its not a chore for you or like you feel forced to just cause your together
3) the most important thing is to make sure you love him back
if he is the one that keeps breaking it up then he probably doesn't love you
if your the one that keeps breaking it up then you probably don't want to be with him
Ok Tamara, can you see yourself living with this man for the rest of your life? That is the question!
If you're on again and off again at this point, forget it.
You have to love each other to death, can't imagine life without him.
I don't know your age but you sound young. Live and enjoy life and adventures. Once married, unless you are really in love can be awful and you'll be stuck with being a single Mom and divorcing.
Trust me dear. Think twice.
Wishing you well.
Oh my, just saw your ages, you're way too young for marriage.
Don't do it!! Please.
Julie.xx
if hasn't had sex with u. he wants to bang you. as soon as he cu'uums he is going to have amnesia and not remember saying anything like that.
if he HAS HAD SEX with you then he **could be** telling u the truth. only time will tell. don't rush into marriage. give the relationship atleast a good CONSISTENT 2yrs before being off and on and off and on. that should be an indication if this marriage will last.
i can't help you... i don't know him or you... i don't know why it was off and on but i will tell you that if you doubt whether or not you can trust your boyfriend then maybe you shouldn't be with him.
This about being on and off...is it from your side or his side.
if it is from his side, then I would rather wait a while and just date . Maybe he has a skeleton(girlfriend) in the closet.
rather wait and make sure...
If you're doubting him you don't trust him and there's probably a reason you shouldn't. So my best advice is that you shouldnt.
Answer mine? :)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Looks like you don't trust him or you wouldn't be asking this. So No, don't do it.
it only depends if you love him back
guys can't be trusted
depends...how many carats? LOL...jk. i say if the on/off starts less often, i think u will be ok
Has anyone been an abusive relationship before? How long did it take for you trust someone again? Any advice?
I have with my first son's father, the advice my mom gave me was never to bring your old baggage into your new relationships, so when i met my boyfriend i have to admit i had my guard up for a while but i noticed the difference and i realized it wasn't fair to my new boyfriend that i was being that way when it was my ex boyfriend who hurt me. I have been with my current boyfriend for the past 7 years and we have 2 kids together plus my son from my ex and he has excepted my son since he was a baby.
You just have give yourself time to heal and learn to love yourself and to just let the pass be the past. Good Luck!! =)Has anyone been an abusive relationship before? How long did it take for you trust someone again? Any advice?
Hi Yes I have been in one! importantly you need to figure out why you let this person treat you like this, or would let anyone treat you like this! Get away from them NOW! I did not leave when I should have and have a scar on my arm from being stabbed. Starts with a push a shove a slap then before you know it! your a corpse! Please get away from them before it's too late!Has anyone been an abusive relationship before? How long did it take for you trust someone again? Any advice?
yes, both physical %26amp; mental abuse in the relationship i was in. i can honestly say that i can forgive %26amp; forget but will never trust another man 100% - will always be some doubt in my mind. i advise anyone in this situation to get out/get away the moment it begins. dont fall for apologies and tears after its happened, once an abuser always an abuser (harsh but so true). seek help and be strong otherwise your life is never going to be the same
i have...and it was really hard to trust someone else but you have to realize that not everyone is the same and each new person deserves the same amount of trust until they lose it for themselves...you know what i mean?
I have and to tell you the truth you never learn to trust someone fully again it takes times and patients it is something that is horrible and to tell you the truth i got over it when i got to hit my partner back and tell him to go to hell. that was when i learned that i was stronger than what he thought i was.
Yes, and after I learned how to not be a friggin' doormat it wasn't to hard to trust people again. Little steps at a time.
I have been in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship last year. I remember all the hateful things he said to hurt me..my self esteem suffered so much too....Still today i find it hard to trust another guy. I keep thinking I'll be hurt and I'll cry un bearably all over again. I was in a deep emotional mess.
Today, well i just keep my distance until i fully know that person. Keep things friendly...its easier for me that way. I guess once you get to a certian level in a relationship, you can tell him/her the past problems you had in the past rleationship so he/she can understand or at least know what ur going thru.
It takes forever to build trust and a few seconds to destroy it. Build trust in small pieces as a foundation, then add the big chunks. It takes a lot of time to build a stable and secure building. But remember sometimes, even the strongest buildings can collapse just like the strongest relationships might go thru betrayal.
You just have give yourself time to heal and learn to love yourself and to just let the pass be the past. Good Luck!! =)Has anyone been an abusive relationship before? How long did it take for you trust someone again? Any advice?
Hi Yes I have been in one! importantly you need to figure out why you let this person treat you like this, or would let anyone treat you like this! Get away from them NOW! I did not leave when I should have and have a scar on my arm from being stabbed. Starts with a push a shove a slap then before you know it! your a corpse! Please get away from them before it's too late!Has anyone been an abusive relationship before? How long did it take for you trust someone again? Any advice?
yes, both physical %26amp; mental abuse in the relationship i was in. i can honestly say that i can forgive %26amp; forget but will never trust another man 100% - will always be some doubt in my mind. i advise anyone in this situation to get out/get away the moment it begins. dont fall for apologies and tears after its happened, once an abuser always an abuser (harsh but so true). seek help and be strong otherwise your life is never going to be the same
i have...and it was really hard to trust someone else but you have to realize that not everyone is the same and each new person deserves the same amount of trust until they lose it for themselves...you know what i mean?
I have and to tell you the truth you never learn to trust someone fully again it takes times and patients it is something that is horrible and to tell you the truth i got over it when i got to hit my partner back and tell him to go to hell. that was when i learned that i was stronger than what he thought i was.
Yes, and after I learned how to not be a friggin' doormat it wasn't to hard to trust people again. Little steps at a time.
I have been in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship last year. I remember all the hateful things he said to hurt me..my self esteem suffered so much too....Still today i find it hard to trust another guy. I keep thinking I'll be hurt and I'll cry un bearably all over again. I was in a deep emotional mess.
Today, well i just keep my distance until i fully know that person. Keep things friendly...its easier for me that way. I guess once you get to a certian level in a relationship, you can tell him/her the past problems you had in the past rleationship so he/she can understand or at least know what ur going thru.
It takes forever to build trust and a few seconds to destroy it. Build trust in small pieces as a foundation, then add the big chunks. It takes a lot of time to build a stable and secure building. But remember sometimes, even the strongest buildings can collapse just like the strongest relationships might go thru betrayal.
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