I have changed so much in my life for my father and yet he doesn't even trust or know who I am. Advice?

This isn't some crappy story of how my dad won't trust me, this is my life. I have been through so much. Lets just say before my dad sent me away for help I was a b****. I was addicted to drugs that my so called ';friends'; passed around at school. I couldn't stop. It was like they were apart of me. I also drunk alot. I would drink alcohol.I guess a lot of sex. I had done everything unimaginable that a teen could do. That was me. I was sent to boot camp for 6 months. Then to counsleing and rehab for 4 months. It was hell to me. But now I have changed. I have more confidence and appriciation for myself. My grades are up and I have lots of friends. Even anice guy who likes me. My dad doesn't see it that way. He still sees a messed up girl as his daughter. He won't let me go out with my bf. Cause he's afraid I might have sex. He won't let me have fun with my friends cause he's afraid I might do drugs or drink. He doesn't understand that I have changed. I just want him to see that. advice?I have changed so much in my life for my father and yet he doesn't even trust or know who I am. Advice?
I'm sorry that you've had such a hard time, because it's never our fault that we lose our innocence, we have so much influence around us we just can't help it, but that's part of growing up. However, sometimes it gets out of hand.





Will your dad talk to you? If you can get him to sit down, maybe you can explain to him how you have decided to turn your life around. Everyone deserves a second chance because everyone makes mistakes. He should be able to understand this, as it is his responsibility of being your father.





If he won't seem to listen, find another family member who will. Maybe it could be a friend, a teacher, a councilor, or spiritual leader if you can find one you can trust. Talk to them, get through your message, and see if they can get it through to your dad.





As I said, I'm sorry this happened, it's not all your fault and you shouldn't suffer any further. i hope you get through this.I have changed so much in my life for my father and yet he doesn't even trust or know who I am. Advice?
just wait until you move out the house and you have all the freedom in the world
Ask him to give you chances to prove yourself and earn back his trust over time. Make an agreement with him to do that.
My sister died and left behind four children two of them were boys who eventually ended up in the in the same boat you were in, so instead of their dad it was their granddad. He is rotten to them he eves drops on their conversations tells them their no good they, don't know how to treat woman, etc. I think if you have to listen to this 24/7 it will eventually drive you back to doing everything all over, have you talked to your dad? Is all you can do other than talking to your dad (keep your temper in check and be respectful) )letting how his distrust in you is hurting you,and go about your daily business showing you can be trusted
Sounds like some family counseling is in order. I'm surprised it wasn't part of your treatment. If you have any follow-up outpatient treatment, talk to that counselor and ask them for a family therapy session with your dad. I can see his point but he does need to give you at least one chance to prove you've changed.





And if you don't have any follow-up outpatient treatment, ask another adult to help, such as a friend's parent or your mother (if she's in the picture at all).





You could also write up a contract with him stipulating exactly what you will and will not do. Agree on the consequences or rewards beforehand. If you obey curfew and are not intoxicated, you should get the reward of being able to go out another time. Or whatever you and your dad come up with. You should both sign both copies of the contract and keep it in a safe place.





Good luck and congratulations on turning your life around so early.

Major Trust Issues Will You Give Me Some Advice?

Ok so i've had two dads so far and they both turned out to either have drug or drinking problems and its really screwed up my life. I cant trust anyone anymore and some people take it the wrong way they think im just being a snob but im not. When i become really good friends with someone after awhile i start pulling away because im afraid to open up and let them into my world even though thr really nice people. I guess my biggest fear is that something kinda the same to what my dads did will happen to me again. Can you please give me some advice?Major Trust Issues Will You Give Me Some Advice?
Hey Ducky! =)


okay well i know what you have gone through has been really hard on you and i can understand, if that happend to me, i would have major trust issues also, but you'll probably be dealing with this for a while because getting over stuff like that dosnt just happen overnight, but just start doing little things that push you out of your comfort zone (trust wise) just little things and you will see that you will start trusting people, your friends, and family with little stuff and then you can go from there.


well hope i have helped=)


xoxoMajor Trust Issues Will You Give Me Some Advice?
to be honest, you will probably be battling with this for the majority of your life. early experiences have a way shaping us and influencing us way over into adulthood.





however, because you realize the problem, you can begin using self-talk to regulate your responses to relationships. when you notice your tendency to pull away from someone, take small steps to do the opposite. if you know you've gone missing for a while or have been dodging phone calls, send a text or leave a voice mail asking for a lunch date or inviting the other person to a movie.





and also, judge each person by THEIR actions, not anyone else's. have they done something to hurt you? have they betrayed or abandoned you? if not, fight to keep those ties healthy and alive.





and sometimes, let's face it, you will be hurt--just like you will hurt others. it's all a part of life. but when a relatonship is worth it, the healthy person works to forgive and to get past the rough stuff.
ur problem is u think if u became close to anyone they will make comments on ur family and ur fathers.... so only u keeping distance from the peoples whom u like also......


don be like tat if u think them as ur closed ones speak wit them all ur sad and happy things then they will undersatnd u much and they will not comment ....... they only will help u in bad situation like this how i giving u advice.......

I want to get some advice on how to earn my trust back with my dad?

i am 17 i will be 18 in december my dad got me an acura TL last year and told me to do right and finish school. I am a junior and have went through some things it seems i am always making bad chioces. It started last year my dad found cigarettes in my room he grounded me and let me have my stuff back the next week then he found pictures of me drinking with my friends. he gave me my stuff back my car was dirty he gave all my stuff back again i started smoking POT... he gave it back again i just kept messing up and i feel like i cant stop but i want to.... I just got caught shoplifting and went to jail got charged and spent bout an hour in jail i sucked so bad and i was so scared it showed me alot about if i continued on the path of what i was doing i would become one of them. I will never touch another drug in my life never steal anything else and i want to start talking to someone but my dad want let me do nothing and is selling my car and took my cell phone what could i do to show him i care and want to do right?





Also i am doing good in school but he says i am a low life but the fact is i am a junior in highschool and i am already taking college classes i was just hanging out with the wrong people!I want to get some advice on how to earn my trust back with my dad?
THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN TELL THESE THING TO HIM BY TALKING TO HIM....THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION......





THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS TAKE YOUR MOM WITH YOU.......[;)]...............BUT NOT NOW........YOU HAVE DONE SO MANY WRONG THINGS......SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE TIME........





HELP YOUR MOM IN HOUSE HOLD WORKS.....AND YOUR DAD...DO YOUR STUDY WELL..........TIME MAKES THE THINGS HAPPEN........





THERE IS NOT ANY SHORT CUT.........





IT HE WILL SELL YOUR CAR AND CELL PHONE...THEN HE CAN BUY THEM AGAIN TOO.......BUT THE THING IS THAT....YOU HAVE DONE TERRIBLE JOBS....SO IT WILL TAKE TIME TO BRING BACK EVERYTHING NORMAL......MAY BE 1 OR 2 YEARS.......I'M TALKING ABOUT MINIMUM.......SO HAVE PATIENCE AND DO THE JOBS I TOLD YOU.....





THEN WHEN YOU FIND YOUR MOM IMPRESSED WITH YOU......THEN ONLY GO FOR YOUR DAD.....NOT BEFORE THAT.......I want to get some advice on how to earn my trust back with my dad?
Stop ******* up, and having committed to that, tell him:


I know I've screwed up a lot, but I'm done with all that juvenile (or childish if you prefer) bad boy crap. It's enough, I've blown off my steam.
your dad kept giving you all these things back after you kept messing up and you really did alot of messing up but shoplifting on top of all the other junk you did well that was probably the last straw for him and he is doing the right thing by not giving into you again, he needs to sell your car, then maybe you will have more respect for your dad and yourself, I'm glad you have straightened up now but you still have a long road to go to prove yourself just keep doing good in school and keep staying away from the wrong people and then eventually you will earn his trust back...good luck
The fact is, your dad is worried about you and rightfully so. If you can see the path you're heading down is wrong, imagine what he sees with all the wisdom of experience at his disposal. He cares and he's trying to make sure you'll be so sorry for these choices that you'll never choose that way again.





Suck it up princess. Keep your nose clean and appreciate all you had before you screwed it up. Be the model kid. Stay away from the losers who got you in this mess. Keep up your grades. Be happy you've got a home with the wealth to offer you the privileges you enjoyed once and may one day be able to enjoy again. Show your dad through time and dedication that you intend your life to be something other than a criminal drug addict and he'll relax and accept you back into his good graces. Trust me, that's what he wants.
Hmmm, you've definitely gone down a wrong path here. As a parent, I can tell you that it's not easy watching a train wreck happen to your kids and you definitely were a fast-moving train. The only thing I know is that time really does settle things down. Of course, you'll have to continue walking a pretty straight line while that happens. Sounds like your dad has been pretty reasonable in the past, so my guess is he will be again. He just needs time to get over it all and see that you're now on a different path. Give it a little time and concentrate on keeping your grades up and life straight and I'm sure he'll come around. Remember, he's scared and he needs to see that you have turned a corner before he trusts you again. In the interim, try talking to a counsellor at school - it can be done on school time. Best of luck kiddo.
The only way to prove to your dad that your done making bad choices is by showing him - this is going to take time. It sounds like you had plenty of opportunities and you blew it. All choices (good or bad) come with consequences - losing your car and cell phone are a product of the the bad choices. There is nothing that you can do in the short term to make him trust you - but going forward do the right thing over time he will see.

coupons

McCain adviser says Palin takes advice from nobody and has no trust relatonship with family & Campaign'; True?

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico (CNN) -- With 10 days until Election Day, long-brewing tensions between GOP vice presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin and key aides to Sen. John McCain have become so intense, they are spilling out in public, sources say.


Several McCain advisers have suggested to CNN that they have become increasingly frustrated with what one aide described as Palin ';going rogue.';


A Palin associate, however, said the candidate is simply trying to ';bust free'; of what she believes was a damaging and mismanaged roll-out.


McCain sources say Palin has gone off-message several times, and they privately wonder whether the incidents were deliberate. They cited an instance in which she labeled robocalls -- recorded messages often used to attack a candidate's opponent -- ';irritating'; even as the campaign defended their use. Also, they pointed to her telling reporters she disagreed with the campaign's decision to pull out of Michigan.


A second McCain source says she appears to be looking out for herself more than the McCain campaign.


';She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone,'; said this McCain adviser. ';She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else.


';Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: Divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.';


A Palin associate defended her, saying that she is ';not good at process questions'; and that her comments on Michigan and the robocalls were answers to process questions.


But this Palin source acknowledged that Palin is trying to take more control of her message, pointing to last week's impromptu news conference on a Colorado tarmac.


Tracey Schmitt, Palin's press secretary, was urgently called over after Palin wandered over to the press and started talking. Schmitt tried several times to end the unscheduled session.


';We acknowledge that perhaps she should have been out there doing more,'; a different Palin adviser recently said, arguing that ';it's not fair to judge her off one or two sound bites'; from the network interviews.


The Politico reported Saturday on Palin's frustration, specifically with McCain advisers Nicolle Wallace and Steve Schmidt. They helped decide to limit Palin's initial press contact to high-profile interviews with Charlie Gibson of ABC and Katie Couric of CBS, which all McCain sources admit were highly damaging.


In response, Wallace e-mailed CNN the same quote she gave the Politico: ';If people want to throw me under the bus, my personal belief is that the most honorable thing to do is to lie there.';


But two sources, one Palin associate and one McCain adviser, defended the decision to keep her press interaction limited after she was picked, both saying flatly that she was not ready and that the missteps could have been a lot worse.


They insisted that she needed time to be briefed on national and international issues and on McCain's record.


';Her lack of fundamental understanding of some key issues was dramatic,'; said another McCain source with direct knowledge of the process to prepare Palin after she was picked. The source said it was probably the ';hardest'; to get her ';up to speed than any candidate in history.';


Schmitt came to the back of the plane Saturday to deliver a statement to traveling reporters: ';Unnamed sources with their own agenda will say what they want, but from Gov. Palin down, we have one agenda, and that's to win on Election Day.';


Yet another senior McCain adviser lamented the public recriminations.


';This is what happens with a campaign that's behind; it brings out the worst in people, finger-pointing and scapegoating,'; this senior adviser said.


This adviser also decried the double standard, noting that Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama's running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, has gone off the reservation as well, most recently by telling donors at a fundraiser that America's enemies will try to ';test'; Obama.


Tensions like those within the McCain-Palin campaign are not unusual; vice presidential candidates also have a history of butting heads with the top of the ticket.


John Edwards and his inner circle repeatedly questioned Sen. John Kerry's strategy in 2004, and Kerry loyalists repeatedly aired in public their view that Edwards would not play the traditional attack dog role with relish because he wanted to protect his future political interests.


Even in a winning campaign like Bill Clinton's, some of Al Gore's aides in 1992 and again in 1996 questioned how Gore was being scheduled for campaign events.


Jack Kemp's aides distrusted the Bob Dole camp and vice versa, and Dan Quayle loyalists had a list of gripes remarkably similar to those now being aired by Gov. Palin's aides.





With the presidential race in its final days and polls suggesting that McCain's chances of pulling out a win are growing slim, Palin may be looking after her own future.


';She's no longer pMcCain adviser says Palin takes advice from nobody and has no trust relatonship with family %26amp; Campaign'; True?
Palin isn't taking her training so well.





A rogue joke, lol





Is anything more hilarious?McCain adviser says Palin takes advice from nobody and has no trust relatonship with family %26amp; Campaign'; True?
Good for her. IT's the sort of leadership this dismal Republican Party finally needs. I hope she stays around to right the sinking ship of the GOP, because McCain and his campaign have been an utter disaster with one exception...the choice of Sarah Palin.





Amazing how strong women are a threat to th status quo.
she's a low iq farce
No need to reprint the whole article. She has ';gone rogue'; and McCain is kicking himself for picking her.
Sarah Palin looks ahead to 2012.
There are a few things in this article that were not in the article that was posted yesterday. Yesterday's was kind of nebulous but his one has nasty accusations added to it. Reference and link please. I'm very skeptical.





Thought Doctor: I agree with you on Palin. I think she's her own person and is tired of holding back. But what you say about McCain and his campaign is wrong.





McCain '08





jrbw
So what? She was picked because of her independent spirit. I would be disappointed if she let herself be led around by the nose.





The handlers are having a tough time stuffing her in the little box labelled ';what a candidate is supposed to look like';? That's terrific, in my opinion!!












You have a lot of time in your hands.

Am i crazy?? or do i just have jealousy issues?? 10 pts for best..trust me ; i need as much advice..?

my boyfriend of now two weeks..( well we talked for a little over a month)


a little before he asked me out there was a girl that he used to have a crush on tht showed up into the picture.


he basically told her a whole bunch of stuff making everything seem different to me. saying how he thought she was cute and tht he didnt know how to end things with me and wht not to start talking to her.


even though he told me tht he would never cheat on me. but this was all before he asked me out, so i said i didnt want to talk to him again.





so basically he explains everything and apologizes.


so then he asks me to be his girlfriend the next day and i say yes.





anywho theyre still talking off and on..even though he told her tht they can only be friends because he doesnt want to cheat on me.


because he has lied about her i dont want them talking so sent him a message on facebook and i deleted it...just to end their conversation.





is tht bad..?


am i taking it overboard??Am i crazy?? or do i just have jealousy issues?? 10 pts for best..trust me ; i need as much advice..?
no I don't think you're overacting. you have the right because you're his gf. He shouldn't be telling her stuff like she's cute. he should only be telling you that. He probably wouldn't like it if you did it to him.

Practical driving test advice in Perth. easiest licensing centre? trust me its urgent... help?!?

hey guys :)


So i live in Perth, WA and I've taken my driving test 4 times at Joondalup. 3 times in manual and then once in auto. I'm NOT a crap driver, I just really suck at the actual test, its a major performance anxiety thing. I've always gotten really bad testers at Joondalup who have been super harsh.


Most people i know have passed their tests at other centers even after making way more mistakes than i have done.


I'm getting pretty desperate, I've been driving for ages and outside of the actual test im good. Thing is, i dont have any more time, I'm leaving to go overseas for a whole year in late November so I really need to get this before then and time's running out!! Also, in total for driving lessons for over a year and the 4 tests costs I have spent well over $1000 which is ridiculous just on driving.


I was wondering which licensing centres you think are the easiest in Perth? I've heard Welshpool %26amp; East Perth are pretty reasonable, what do you guys think?? please help!Practical driving test advice in Perth. easiest licensing centre? trust me its urgent... help?!?
Well thing is.... If your a good driver you won't get nervous or jitty in any situation. So learn how to drive properly and professionally before you end up a statistic, or worse kill a few others on your way.

I TRUST MY MAN DEARLY!SO WHY LITTLE LIES? I HATE LIES WHY CANT HE JUST TELL THE TRUTH 1ST TIME? GIVE ME ADVICE?

theres no need for the capital letters if its just little lies. some guy are very considerate and what i mean by that is that if he tells u the truth depending on the situation, it wud hurt ur feelings and he wouldnt want to see u hurt or anything like that. hes trying to protect ur feelings i wud say. hope i helped!I TRUST MY MAN DEARLY!SO WHY LITTLE LIES? I HATE LIES WHY CANT HE JUST TELL THE TRUTH 1ST TIME? GIVE ME ADVICE?
details please...





he may be just not in the mood to tell you what needs to be told..and so he tells a lie just to finish the conversation..Tell him how you feel and ask him a favor to keep things between you real and truthful.Lastly, be sure you do the same thing.





~*sMiLeY gIrL*~I TRUST MY MAN DEARLY!SO WHY LITTLE LIES? I HATE LIES WHY CANT HE JUST TELL THE TRUTH 1ST TIME? GIVE ME ADVICE?
if he's lieing to u then he doesnt trust u.. and he doesnt care enough to tell u the truth and thats nott good! seriously.. DUMP HIM!!


if u dont then there will be alot of hurt coming down ur road. cuz itt sounds like he's nott a very good guy.
That sentence makes no sense. Why would you trust him dearly if you know he's lying to you?
dump his sorry *** :/





deperessing.





but it's the truth.





you can do better :]